God's blessing on these unfortunate nights!
by DancinKronoRequiem
Summary: After deciding to spend our nights together, who knew it would end up being this difficult? Is it too much to ask for our days to NOT end in disaster as well? (This is post relationship KazumaxMegumin from the LN, so there will be some spoilers. This story is just a series of oneshots between them on their nights together.)
1. A Divine Intervention

**A Divine Intervention**

"Ka-Kazuma's still in the bath right now…" Megumin says while walking down the mansion's corridor, clutching her pillow to her stomach.

Ever since that fateful night, the Crimson Demon has been spending her nights with Kazuma instead of her own room now. Though while their relationship is still hesitant on moving from "more than friends but less than lovers", it's the closest they could ever be together while holding each other in their arms.

"My h-heart's pounding…!? What's so different this time?

"Ah, right… waiting in b-bed while he's bathing is something a married couple would do."

Megumin's face flares up at the thought, though the excitement she feels upon seeing Kazuma's reaction is overpowering any sense of doubt.

As she finally reaches his bedroom and with her hand on the doorknob, she gulps and slowly exhales. "It's just like the other nights, nothing's going to happen and nothing's different this time-

"…eh?"

Upon entering, Megumin felt all the tension and feelings that were building up suddenly sucked out of her body as she stares dumbfoundedly at Kazuma's bed.

"What is this?" Megumin says in a monotone voice, "I don't know whether I should be crying or livid right now."

"Ah! Megumin!"

Kazuma walks down the hallway from the bath still drying his head with a towel. Seeing her already standing in front of his bedroom he smirks.

"Someone's pretty early tonight, couldn't stand waiting for your adventurer to finish? If you're that excited I wouldn't mind a visit in the bath-"

Kazuma stops in mid sentence as he watches Megumin finally turning around to face him, revealing the insignia of her clan's blood glaring brightly through her eyes.

"-w-whats up with you!?"

Her mouth opens to speak but instead of the usual childish voice, a deep guttural line came out, "This guy…"

"Wait-ah!"

Kazuma immediately braces himself against the barrage of tiny fists that betrays the sheer strength with each blow.

"If you didn't want me to come over tonight then just say so!" She shouts, her voice cracking at the end.

"Ow ow ow! Stop it! What are you talking about?!"

"I'm talking about your stupid 8 foot stone wall you put on your bed!"

Kazuma catches both her fists and looks at her with confusion.

"...what?

"WHAT THE HELLL!"

True to her words, Kazuma came into his room to discover his bed split vertically in half by a stone wall. Somehow both sides of the bed are still held up on its own until Kazuma discovered the wooden bolts along the edge.

"This is so stupid and unbelievable, who would hate me this much to go to this length?" said Kazuma as he stares down on all fours.

Seeing his reaction to this Megumin asked, "So… you didn't do this?"

"Wha-Of course not! Did you seriously believe that I would suddenly put an end to my favorite part of the day by erecting a stone wall through my own bed just to avoid telling you I want to sleep alone?!"

Megumin blushes and squeezes her pillow closer to herself, "f-favorite… really?"

"Why was that the only part you picked up on?!"

Kazuma rubs his temples and sighs. Who in the world would make such a profound, and yet very convenient way of ruining his night? Could the goddess Eris be responsible for this too? Maybe, but usually her meddling is subtle and he thought she might've ceased after being called out on it, despite her denial. Could it be Darkness? No, she wouldn't be petty at least let alone going this FAR. The only logical suspect would be Aqua but why-

"Kazuma! There's a note here!"

"What? Let me see that!"

With Megumin looking over his arm, Kazuma reads out:

"Dear Kazuma,

"I know it was you who told those wine merchants about how I purified one of the seller's entire stocks into water! It was only ONE time! But now they're warning all of them to watch out for a blue haired alcoholic! Me! A goddess being called that! How do you even sleep at night?! Well the intelligent and all-knowing goddess can assure you that you won't be able to tonight thanks to the mason and carpenter guilds help! You can spend your restless night thinking of a perfect apology for me by writing it on the back of this paper. I also expect my pen back too.

"Love, the illustrious and most… -this handwriting is horrible."

"GAHHHH" Kazuma tears the letter in his hand with rage, "That damn useless goddess! No! Useless doesn't even cover it anymore! She's nothing but an interfering, cock-blocking, debt-making, idiot cry baby!"

"Kazuma…"

Kazuma turns his head in surprise feeling the menacing aura matching with the crimson glow of her eyes.

"If some terrible tragedy would happen to Aqua tomorrow, I won't lift a finger to save her." she growls.

_What is this pleasant feeling in my chest?_ Kazuma thought.

"Well, she'll get what she deserves tomorrow. We'll consider her sleep as her last meal. But I guess I have to sleep on the couch now" Kazuma now calmed after seeing Megumin's mutual hate for the Archpriest.

"W-wait! Are you sure? What about… tonight?"

"I-I'm not putting it off but we can't… they'll just walk in and ruin everything, knowing our luck."

Megumin went silent and looked away.

"Let's just head back to your room then."

"Excuse me!?"

"What?"

Megumin points at Kazumin like she just caught him in criminal act, "A man and a woman sharing the latter's bed is an invasion of privacy!"

"The hell you're on about!? How's that different from sharing mine!?"

"B-because!"

"That's not an excuse!"

"A man and a woman on her bed.." Megumin went quiet, nervously fiddling with her fingers while holding the pillow. "Would be a prelude to… intimacy."

"Hell if that what it takes, I'm game." Kazuma said bluntly.

"D-don't joke about that!"

"What?! Were you just teasing me!? You're no better than that perverted crusader!"

Megumin opened her mouth ready to retaliate but instead a loud, tired yawn escaped from her. Embarrassed, she covers her mouth but the cuteness of it helped melt away Kazuma's frustration.

"...Hey, let's just share the one side together. As long as we huddle c-close… it won't be an issue. My back will be against the wall, so you can stay comfortable. How about it?"

Megumin looks up in surprise causing Kazuma to slightly shift his eyes away.

"What's with that look…?"

"Nothing," she giggles, _so cool_.

After assessing the space, the two climbed on one after another.

With his back against the stone, Kazuma wrapped his arms around the little Archwizard to help keep her in place. But the amount of space was proving to be difficult to work with.

"K-Kazuma! This is really too close!"

"I-I know! Those damn guildmates must've reduced the size of my bed!"

"Aah! I'm almost off the edge! Nevermind! Don't let go!"

Kazuma pulls her in tighter, her small frame almost fitting perfectly to his body. With her head below his, the scent of her hair began making its way to him.

_This is too much!_ He thought, _Did she take a bath before me? I wouldn't have bothered waiting in the first place, it's not like we haven't seen each other-_

It was in this moment, Kazuma soon come to realize the trial every man who is ever put into such a situation would face. The test of resolve and modesty.

_No! Stay down my son! If you come out, Megumin will think I'm trying to sexually harass her!_

_Just think of something else! Quests, monsters, beating up Aqua tomorrow-_

"Kazuma" her voice breaking through his concentration.

"Y-yeah?"

"Are you… comfortable?"

_Don't say such things, damn it!_

"Here,"

Megumin shifted her body slightly, the brief change of contact sending pulses throughout his body. Before he could speak up, Megu held up her pillow before him.

"-ah, right. I been too distracted by this wall to notice I was missing mine… and the blanket too…"

_That useless goddess is dead meat._

"I'll just use your arm instead, ok?"

"S-sure, thank you."

_This might not be so bad_, Megumin thought, _even without the blanket I feel warm and Kazuma is holding onto me so protectively._

_Don't wake up, don't wake up, please do not wake up!_ Kazuma silently pleaded to his son.

"You know, Kazuma."

"Huh?"

"B-being held like this-"

_Oh no._

_Don't you dare!_

"It really feels like-"

"Megu-"

"-that we're like a married couple" Megumin exclaimed.

Married.

The word bounces around Kazuma's head. Creating an image of him and Megumin like before, when he realized he was in fact in love with her. Snuggling up with her and thinking of the nice future, Kazuma drifted away in his thoughts. But like a fool, he let his guard down...

"E-eh, K-Kazuma what is-AHHHHH!"

It all happened so fast. Once the realization hit Megumin, her entire body jumped away from the edge of the bed.

"H-hey Megu-URGH!" His sentence got cut off short as a sudden wild kick hits Kazuma under his chin and the back of his head hitting against the stone wall.

"Ah! Kazuma!" Megu grabs onto him but through the motion of the fall and the now unconscious NEET they both fell off the bed with Megumin landing on top of him.

While the young mage is unharmed, she frantically began shaking Kazuma awake.

"Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"That's... ugh, me" Kazuma groans.

"I-I didn't mean to! I got surprised and-ah!"

She stopped as she felt his hands gripping both her shoulders gently as support for Kazuma to sit up and face her.

His hand slowly moves up to Megumin's cheek who did not offer any resistance as she was suddenly enraptured by his serious expression.

"Megu, I" Kazuma leans in, closing the distance between their faces. The feeling of each other's hot breath blowing against them.

"Y-yes, Kazumaa?"

"I'll be sleeping on the other side. Alone."

"...eh?

"EHHHHHH?" Suddenly dropped to the floor, Megumin reaches out as Kazuma walks over the other side of the bed.

"KAZUMAAAaaaAAA!"

**~/~**

As Megumin quietly sniffs on her side of the wall, Kazuma rubs his still aching jaw.

_Damn that's gonna swell tomorrow, who knew such a petite frame would carry that much power besides explosions? And the back of my head is killing me!_

"Kazumaa~"

_Damn that, brat. Don't say my name like that when I'm suppose to be angry!_

"Are you mad at me?"

… _Damn it,_ _you win._

"No," Kazuma replied feeling defeated.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you really sure?"

"Yes!"

"Are you really, really-"

"I said yes! The only two people I'm mad at is that stupid blue hair deity and her stupid wall!" Kazuma kicks the stone between them out of frustration which quickly prove to be a bad idea as he agonizes in pain.

_And now I sprained my foot!_

"Pfft-"

"Oi, are you enjoying this!?"

"Not really, just come back over and hold me again. I'm getting cold."

Normally such a sentence uttered from a girl would cause no hesitation for him to obey. But now with an aching jaw, swelling behind his head, and his foot numb, his body is just screaming at him to stop.

"...I can't, I'm sorry… I'm not mad at you, I swear."

Silence. Even though this absurd wall isn't separating the room itself, it's amazing how effective it still is making them feel isolated from each other.

"We can still talk, you know? I'm not going anywhere."

More silence.

Damn that Aqua! While they had spats before, this feels as close to a bad fight as it can get. Now because of her stupid meddling their relationship is taking a dive.

Kazuma closes his eyes to think of anything to say to get her talking. Explosions? No, she'll see right through it. Marriage? That's a minefield on its own and was what brought this trouble in the first place…

_Damn! All I could think about is how close her body was next to me! The scent of her hair-_

_Wait._

"H-hey, your hair is getting longer now, r-right?"

Silence.

_IDIOT! 'Your hair is getting longer now'?! What kind of talk is that!? All that luck amounting to everything but this relationship-_

"You noticed?"

_Did that seriously work?_

"Its just when we were hugging, it's not exactly easy to miss, haha. Are you gonna cut it?"

"... no"

"Ah…"

"...do you, like it"

"I love it"

"!?"

_You dumbass! That was too fast of an answer!_

_Wait, but she sounded really excited? Did she wanted me to compliment her hair?_

A mischievous idea came to Kazuma's mind making his smile wide with glee.

"Yeah, it's beautiful. It's very soft and flows through my hand like water."

Silence. It took him by surprise but he wasn't about to let it end there.

"If your hair does get longer, I wouldn't mind holding onto you for however long I can. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you must have been growing it out for me"

"Ah!"

_What was that now!? I was expecting a retort like "I wouldn't do something that embarrassing for you" or something._

"As much as I like to caress it right now, my body is too beat to move…"

"..."

Had he gone too far he wondered? Even if he was teasing, it's not like he was saying anything wrong or even lying to her. Did he went too far complaining about not moving when it was his fault for stubbornly going over to the other side?

Perhaps Megumin really wants to be left alone now.

Without another Kazuma turns his back against the slab and closes his eyes.

On the other side of the bed, Megumin felt the rush of her heart beating intensely. She couldn't feel more proud that she was finally becoming more to his liking. All she needs now is to get her breasts within a couple of years, and Kazuma will be all hers.

Though… they're already close. And right now, he doesn't have the strength to come back after such a disastrous night.

_I'll-I'll come to him then! But what should I say? Or what should I do? This stupid wall is just making the whole night awkward-!_

Sitting upright, Megumin looks over the wall between them and thought of a plan to lighten the mood. A cute girl like doing something this silly would definitely bring a smile to someone like Kazuma.

But in Kazuma's perspective...

_Crunch!_

His eyes shot open at the sudden sound. He bolted upright with his fists out expecting to see a monster or whatever is making that sound.

_Crunch!_

Kazuma turns his head to the source of the sound, his face giving off a confused expression when he discovers it coming from the other side of the wall.

_Crunch!_

_Crunch!_

And with each sound, his eyes followed the direction they were coming from.

_Crunch!_

_Crunch!_

"M-megu-"

On top of the stone slab, a hand emerges and cracks the edge with her grip sending tiny debris.

"_Kazuma_"

Kazuma's mind started playing a thunderous chorus as he watches in abstract horror as Megumin's face emerges with her red eyes and for some reason, exhaling an excessive amount of steam.

Whether he should feel concerned for her or horrified at what he is seeing, the only thing that comes through his mind is:

_Why the hell didn't you just walk around it?!_

_Snap!_

"W-w-woah!" Megumin cries as the stone wall begins wobbling back and forth, "Ka-Kazuma!"

_Snap!_

The wooden bolts that kept both sides of the bed connected broke causing Kazuma to fall inwards which in effect caused the entire wall to now fall in the direction of the unlucky adventurer, who kept a blank expression as now nothing could surprise him anymore to the fallout of this night.

He closes his eyes as the entire 8 foot tall, 6 in wide stone wall descends upon him he whispers to himself, "I'm ready, take me"

_Wham!_

"Ahhh, the smooth buttery and fruity taste! You would go great with dessert! In fact, I'll just have you for dessert instead" the goddess snuggling the bottle to her face.

A knock erupted from her door. Sensing it could be Kazuma she quickly hides the overpriced wine bottle and shouted "It wasn't me, you can't prove anything!"

"Aqua," Megumin's voice appears through the door, "I… had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you?"

"Oh, of course!" She gets up approaching the door, "Sleeping with a goddess in the room is a 100% guarantee way to ward off nightmares, ghosts, and-UWAAAAAAAH!"

Aqua's scream getting cut off by a thunderous sound got the awoken Darkness who first heard the initial crash come running down the halls.

"Aqua! What's wrong! Are we under attack? Where is it? How strong is it? Is it my turn yet?!"

The 'brave' crusader stopped short after seeing both Kazuma and Megumin facing away from her.

"Ah, Kazuma and Megumin what happened to-"

"Ah, Darkness-chan! Hai!" Kazuma turns revealing his severely beaten up body yet strangely radiating pure happiness making Darkness nearly gag.

"K-Kazuma?"

"Oh, Darkness!" Megumin turns as well revealing not so much as beaten like Kazuma but also reflecting his unnatural positive energy, "Kazuma fell down the stairs, isn't that clumsy of him!?"

"Yes, how clumsy of me!" he agreed as Megumin rubs his head.

"Our esteem healer is still asleep, do you know where we kept the medical supplies?"

"D-down the stairs, two doors on the right" Darkness replied, deeply disturbed by the two.

"Oh thank you, Darkness. Have a good night and don't let the bedbugs bite!" Kazuma waves as he and Megumin laughs while turning the corner.

Darkness slowly crept towards Aqua's door and peered inside to see the said goddess buried underneath a pile of stone bricks.

"Aqua!?"

"Kazuma, didn't you say sleeping here together would risky? And the space is barely an improvement." Megumin asks as both she and the bandaged up Kazuma huddles close together on the couch.

"After what we did, I don't think Aqua and Darkness will bother us anytime soon. At least till morning. And my back isn't being strained against a wall."

"I kind of feel bad what we did"

"We'll apologize to Darkness first thing in the morning."

"Hehe, this guy..."

* * *

**Author's notes**

**This was a lot of fun to write. After hearing the news of the upcoming movie I could hardly contain my excitement and had begun checking out the Light Novels. It was to my surprise and pleasure to discover that the story would actually have a romantic subplot focused between Megumin and Kazuma that just feels so endearing to read. The development between the two while still pertaining to their original personalities was a fresh of breath air compared to how most romantic subplots are used which really got me to wanting to capture moments like that myself.**

**For now this is just a one shot (edit: so that was a lie), though I have more ideas to bring trouble to the goofballs. So more chapters might be coming. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Unwanted Guests 1

**Unwanted Guests**

ᵖᵃʳᵗ ¹ ⁱ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵘʳᵗ ᵐᵉ

"Kazuma..."

"Yes, I'm Kazuma."

"You still haven't given me a rating for that Explosion yet."

"..." Kazuma pouts as he carries Megumin down the same path they take to practice her explosions back to Axel. As the self-proclaimed connoisseur of Explosion magic, he often would give out his analytical feedback to help the young Archwizard improve. While her average score exceeds 90 out of 100, today however...

"...79" he mutters.

"Huh?"

"79."

"EHHHHH?!" Megumin cries, "That low!?"

"-and a half!"

"What difference does that make!? What was wrong with it!?"

"Hey, keep still!" Kazuma shifts his grip to keep the bewildered girl from falling off of his back.

"It's just..." he gulps, "The impact felt distant like hearing a boulder falling from a mountain. I felt a slight breeze but it's barely distinguishable from a windy day. The center of the crater looked like it would definitely kill anything caught dead in the middle of it, but it probably wouldn't do such much AOE-wise."

Each words were like arrows striking upon the poor girl.

"H-have mercy..."

"79 isn't so bad, that's still passing-"

"PASSING IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO THE STANDARDS OF A CRIMSON DEMON!"

"Hey not so loud! I'm right here you know!" Kazuma leans his head forward as possible to keep his ear drums from rupturing, "Look, everyone has a bad day-"

"Impossible, members of the Crimson Demon clan are perfect."

"That's debatable."

Megumin's eyes flares up, "Was that mockery directed at me or my clan?"

Not wanting to end the day with two explosions, Kazuma bit his tongue and replies, "Nothing, forget I said anything."

"Hmph, I won't just let this insult slide because you backed down, coward."

"Who are you calling a coward!?" Kazuma retorts, "If I was to mock you and your clan, I would say that one of the many things you two relate with is a lack of development!"

"You! Take this!" Megumin grabs her staff with both ends as she pulls it against Kazuma's neck.

"GAH! L-let go you c-crazy!"

"Apologize! Now!"

"I c-can't-!"

Kazuma starts shaking violently to throw off the tempered mage from his back to no avail.

"H-hey! Careful where you're moving to! There's a steep slope near us!"

"T-then I... taking y-you with me!" Kazuma chokes as he dives back off into the slope beneath them.

**~/~**

"Ah, welcome!" announces Wiz as the shop's doorbell ringed. She emerges out from the back while rubbing eyes to greet the customers.

"How can I-AH! Kazuma! Megumin! Are you two okay!?"

"Hoi" the pair answered, both covered in dirt, scratches, and a few bruises here and there.

"W-what happened-"

"Giant toads."

"A-ah, I see..." Though while Wiz notices how the two of them are not covered in toad slime with their usual encounters, she felt that it was probably the better to not press for details.

"So... what brings you both here?"

"We need some healing potions and salves if you have any," Kazuma answers.

"Oh my! Is your, uh, friend hurt?" Wiz looks around to see if a certain Archpriestess is lying in wait for her to drop her guard.

"We're not... trying to be _too _reliant on her..."

Even though Kazuma isn't part of Megumin's clan, both their eyes appear to be glow menacingly before Wiz at the mention of the goddess.

_What a... terrifying pair..._

"Kazuma, I'm going to use the bathroom." Megumin said as she leaves him before he could answer.

"I-...okay..."

"Are the..." Wiz fidgets wondering if she should inquire while looking for her potions, "Are the two of you... fighting?"

"Eh!? Is it that obvious?" he stammers.

"I-I don't mean to invade! And don't worry! C-couples fight all the time, it's normal! Or so I'm told..."

"W-we're not-!" Kazuma flusters and turns his head away from her. _The hell did that come from!? I would expect such a loaded jab from Vanir not this-_

_"_H-hey, where is Vanir?" Kazuma asks in his attempt to change the subject.

"Oh, today's our inventory day! He's in the back right now taking records of our stock, which is why our store might seem to be a little disarray right now. So it's best that he shouldn't be bothered right now."

Kazuma looks around the room and discovers all the assortments scattered throughout the area. Clearly Wiz's handiwork with how cluttered and disorienting it looks with all the objects and boxes piling up.

There was one product in the room however that caught Kazuma's eye.

"What is that right there?"

Wiz turns to see where he's pointing, "Oh! This was originally kept so far in the back I nearly forgot I had it."

The product is a black box layered with what appears to be tape with symbols written on them. It appears to be one of those half slotted containers as he can see the seams at the bottom taped up with the symbols.

"Heh, it almost look like a parcel package from hell," Kazuma chuckled.

"Well, it's not technically from hell but it is a cursed relic created by demons."

"... hah?"

"Is... something wrong?" Wiz questioned.

_Oh, right. I forgot this place carries dangerous objects ever since Vanir and I struck up a business in selling products from Japan. Like that damn collar..._

"What's in it?"

"It's a... peculiar curse..." Wiz's cheeks started to become noticeably red, "It's said to influence... emotions to people in the same room..."

"Like what."

"A-ah!? You know... the... intimacy kind...?"

"I'll take it."

"Huh!?" Wiz startled by Kazuma's quick offer. "But why would you-ah, I-I s-see... but we haven't even made a-mmph"

Her sentence was cut short as Kazuma confidantly silences her lips with a finger.

"Money isn't an issue, but don't underestimate my mercantilism." Kazuma walks over to the box and pulls out a dagger.

"W-wait Kazuma! What are you doing?"

"If this object can stir up hidden emotions, then I would like to see it for myself." smiling widely he slides the dagger in between the seams ready to cut the seals off.

"Kazuma."

"Ah! M-Megumin!" Kazuma quickly hides the blade into the back of his pants as he turns to the Archwizard returning from the facilities.

"Can we get something to eat on the way back?"

"Of course! Of course! Anything you want! Hahahaha!"

Megumin raises an eyebrow at him but before she could speak her face was immediately met with a bundle of vials before her.

"Here are the potions you want!" Wiz coming in with the assist.

"O-oh, thank you..." Megumin takes the bundle from her, "I'll wait for you outside, but let's get going ok?"

"Yeah, just a sec while I pay her!" Kazuma waves before turning to the lich. "Thanks for the save..."

"I rather keep my store in one piece... you shouldn't be so lenient like that around her." she scowls.

"B-but we're not... yeah, you're right..." Kazuma's heart suddenly being speared by a mix emotions of excitement, guilt, and fear. "But... could you deliver that object to our mansion?"

"S-still? I suppose I could but-"

"Kazuma!"

"Here's what I have on hand! If it's not enough you can ask for more when you drop it off!" And with that, Kazuma rushes out after dropping a hefty sack of coins on her desk.

**~/~**

"I can't believe someone as stingy as you would just lose that much money and not realize that til now."

Kazuma kept quiet as he broke the news to the hungry, now irritated mage that he lost the money in order to keep his purchase a secret. But in a spur of the moment, he forgot to have some left to order food.

_That object could help settle our emotions without getting on each other's nerves. And m-maybe..._

"What were you doing with Wiz while I was waiting then? Where you flirting with her behind my back?"

"What!? Of course not! I just told her to deduct it from my next payment from Vanir..."

"Okay."

Normally, Kazuma would have love to see Megumin become jealous over him. But the way she delivered those lines felt like they were laced with venom. And the heavy silence to follow is enough to make him squirm.

"Megu, I-"

"Megumin!"

_Oh what now!?_

Standing in front of their mansion, uninvited, is a fellow Crimson Demon member pointing at them in a way that looked cooler in her head than it really is.

"As your rival I have waited for your return so that we can continue our challenge to see which of us is-hey! Don't just walk past me I'm talking to you!"

"Go home, Yunyun," Megumin muttered with disinterest.

"W-what's with the cold reply!? You said yesterday to come back tomorrow and I been waiting for you two since the afternoon outside of your home!"

"You know you are welcome to come inside even if no one is here." Kazuma replied.

"That's... not what she said!"

"To repeat history is to invite stagnation. I have no interest in satisfying that fragile ego of yours with pointless games."

Kazuma glances at Megumin like he just met her for the first time. The level of coldness this girl can reach could bring about the next Ice Age.

"What's with you!? You-you may say that now! But that will change once I beat you once and for all!"

"Fine, I accept on the terms of my choice of challenge."

"H-hey wait, you can't-"

"First one to sleep with Kazuma wins," Megumin raises the baffled adventurer's hand up along with hers, "I win."

"Hey don't involve me in this again!"

"WHA-! Th-that's not fair, Megumin! He's your boyfriend-!"

"Yes, but Kazuma's the type who would not hesitate with sleeping in the same bed with another woman if given the chance. So what's your excuse? Other than being a child that is."

_This girl! She's really twisting the knife in both of us!_

Yunyun's eyes swelled up before turning away from them running and shouting, "You didn't have to go that farrr, Megumiiiiiiin! Waaahhh!"

Megumin already started heading to the door while Kazuma watches Yunyun still trying to process that turn of event.

_So cold... is this because I gave her such a low rating on that explosion?_

_No... it was because I insulted her and the village she really cares for. And all she did was called me a coward... And I only proved her right. Maybe I was the one out of line._

"Oi, Megumin!" Kazuma calls out to her.

She pauses at the doorway with her hand already on the knob but not turning to face him.

Kazuma took a deep breath, somehow feeling the pressure squeezing him knowing what he could say now will affect everything.

"I... I'll make your favorites for dinner tonight!"

"..."

"T-to make it up for losing the m-money-no... for what I said earlier... I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said... your clan is important to you, and I shouldn't have crossed that line... nor kept mocking your f-frame... I know I keep saying that, but to me you're beautiful-ah I mean-!" Kazuma couldn't help control himself. Fighting through situations before in quests and against the Demon Generals were nowhere near as difficult to him as this. Never had he imagine that this would happen to him when he first step into this world.

And yet here he is, desperately trying to salvage the situation. Afraid to lose something as meaningful as this to him.

"W-what I'm trying to say is... I-"

Kazuma stopped as he felt two small hands gently wrapping around his right hand. He looks up only to see the back of her head as she's looking down in front of him.

"You would mock my body and yet always hold me close at night. You would treat me like a child and act mature but you couldn't even keep a straight face talking to me or about our relationship. You would even not hesitate to throw both of us into a slope but still carried me the way back and tend to my wounds."

Megumin laughs as tears began welling up.

"You're a walking contradiction! But that's what I love about you! You can be mean and arrogant but you're a wonderful man by heart. I could never hate you or stay mad at you. I forgive you, and I'm sorry for being such a child today. I don't want this day to end badly between us either."

Megumin smiles up at him, "I'll still visit you tonight, okay?"

"...okay."

"Chu~"

Kazuma stood his ground as Megumin walked away after planting a kiss on his cheek and into the house. He immediately collapses as if the kiss was secretly a Drain Touch spell.

"My, if that were to go any longer I would've thought we were getting a heat wave!"

"AHHH!" Kazuma scrambles upward by the sound of Vanir's voice, "How much did you see!?"

"Enough to start making bets whether we'll be seeing another member of the Crimson Demon to enter onto our world."

"That's not funny!"

"Considering what I am here to deliver, I wasn't aware it would be a joke." Vanir presents the same box Kazuma bought before him.

"Oh... that's right... is this actually for real?"

"You ask that now _after _making the purchase? What ever happened to that merchant intuition of yours?" Vanir shakes his head, "But yes, this artifact will certainly be quite effective. Though if you're that desperate to make a daughter, we could've settled for a contract."

"Hey! First of all why are you so sure it will be a girl! And second, even if it... might happen tonight, I'll settle for this 'cursed' object instead!"

Vanir smiles before turning around and waving, "If you insist! Considering your luck with women, one does not have to be an all-knowing goddess or demon to tell. Oh and the receipt's in the bag!"

After watching him go, Kazuma suddenly felt the weight of the words said to him.

"My luck with... women... yeah, I can certainly see that too..." Kazuma mutters while looking down at the box in the bag before noticing the slip of paper, "Oh right, how much was it again?"

He pulls out the receipt and glances over.

"GAAAHHHHHHHHH! THAT BACKSTABBING DEMON!"

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Second chapter but it's a two-parter, and it's not even night time yet? What a hack.**

**Apologies for that, but I felt if I were to continue then it would just be a really long chapter. But there will be more hi-jinx for these awkward love birds to face. So stay tuned.**

** ̶A̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶A̶l̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶**


	3. Unwanted Guests 2

**Unwanted Guests**

**Part 2**

"Even though we patched things up ourselves, it would just be a waste not to give this thing a try."

Kazuma stares at the handwritten receipt from the store where he can see both his and Megumin's name on top with the listed purchases they made:

Quick Healing Potions x5 - 5000 eris

Healing salves x5 - 10000 eris

The Vessel of Lilith - Your next paycheck ;)

_I really want to tear this apart! But even if it does work then I'll just return it the next day saying nothing happened. It's not like they could tell... probably._

Kazuma pulls out his dagger and began cutting the seals keeping the half slotted box together. His heart was beginning to quicken its pace just before he cuts the last one, expecting for the 'love curse' to suddenly unleash.

"... nothing. Perhaps the container itself is doing most of the work." Kazuma places the dagger down then grabs both sides of the upper half.

Just as he's about to lift the box up Kazuma pauses, _Wait. I haven't even told Megumin about this thing yet. AHH! THERE'S NO WAY I CAN TELL HER ABOUT THIS! She'll think that I'm trying to take advantage of her! I'll-I'll just say I thought it looked cool and that it would set the mood tonight... probably shouldn't say that last part. It's not like it would matter anyway once this thing take effect._

Kazuma takes in a deep breath shaking any doubts in his mind then proceeds to lift the box again.

_What's this incredible feeling of guilt just now?_

_I-I know I said she might think I'm trying to take advantage of her but that's not what this really is, right? It's not like I'm forcing anything, even though she won't know what it will do to us. I mean we both have feelings for each other, right? This object only just intensifies the emotions so i-i-it's not like I'm drugging us with a love potion, right!? _

_But Wiz said it influences emotions, which means it makes us feel compelled to these emotions. Oh god, that practically IS a love potion! WHY THE HELL DID I BUY THIS THING!?_

With shaking hands, Kazuma slaps both sides of his face. _Keep it together! I'm already this far, and if it just turns out to be too much then I'll just toss the thing out the room._

With new found resolve, the adventurer spits in both his hand before rubbing them together. Taking both sides again and putting up a mental guard, he begins lifting the box up all the way until it finally dislodges from the bottom half.

And then proceeds to immediately slams it back down.

_What the FUCK is that thing!? Is that a demon's take on love!? _

Kazuma trembles as he pulls off the box again to take another look. There was no amount of effort he could make to hide the sheer disgust upon looking at the object.

What lays inside is what might've appeared to be a candle holder. But the wax, if that's what it is, is molded into a gaunt face with pressed sockets where the eyes should be and a horrible open stretched mouth with little teeth dotting along the sides. It has long, thin arms in a cross grabbing its own face like it was petrified in mid scream.

Needless to say, there is nothing remotely romantic about this zombie-like candle thing.

"I really don't want to touch it, the more I look at it the more I keep thinking that isn't wax at all. There's not even a wick..."

Using the packing paper as a glove, Kazuma lifts the object from the box and places it on top of the receipt he previously laid down to keep it safe. He steps back while wiping the hand he touched it with on himself and gave it another good luck.

_Nope, still terrifying. And I don't even feel anything at all! Was this a just a prank or something? Or does it have to work with at least two people in the room?_

_Ugh, but still! How could something so horribly ugly can stir up romance? Let alone if me and Megu... make a child together._

Kazuma gulps then drops to his knees in a prayer. _Look, I'll take back everything I said about you if you can actually get us to pull this off tonight! So please work!_

_Knock Knock_

"Kazuma~"

"Just a sec!" he calls out before hopping onto his bed, trying out a pose to best fit the mood. "Come in."

"What were you doing in here before I-"

Megumin stops midway as she enters the room.

"What the hell is that?"

"It's a... gift! From Wiz."

"No, that pose you're making. It's really creepy, please stop."

_Guess the curse isn't an instant spell._

"And what the hell is this!?" Megumin walks closer to inspect the object but stops a few feet away as if she's expecting it to suddenly jump at her. "Are you trying to scare me away?"

"Of course not! Wiz said it's suppose to, uh-help with sleep!" he carelessly said.

"How!? By scaring the nightmares away!?" Megumin exclaims, "And you're not seriously implying leaving this thing here while we're cuddling?"

Kazuma grits his teeth. As much as he really wants to get rid of the damn object too, this supposed love curse could be what he really needs to help him go all the way with Megumin especially with how confidant Vanir is of it happening. Kazuma would often throw his offer usually as a tease or a joke to Megumin to get her flustered but when seriously considering it his body starts to shake nervously and his fears of what would happen if he can't get it up because of it in front of her. No amount of shame would ever top that.

Either way, if the object turns out to be a bust it's not like it would happen if it wasn't here in the first place.

Kazuma smirks and decides to cast his bait. "Throwing away a gift is considered rude from where I'm from and I promised Wiz to give it a try, so if you really don't like it then I'm not forcing you to stay."

"What are you-?" Megumin falters before composing herself again, "Are you trying to get me to say 'I don't want to be alone tonight' or something embarrassing like that?"

_No, but that would be very_ cute.

"I understand if you're too scared of the statue to spend some alone time with the one you love. If it really comes to that then I guess I'll spend my alone time with-ooph!" Kazuma was swiftly met with small pillow smacking him in the face.

"Don't you dare question my resolve!" Megumin's eyes flares while pointing at Kazuma who was expecting more of a bashful reply. "I, Megumin of the Crimson Demon Clan, Master of the ultimate magic, and Slayer of the Demon Generals will not be torn apart from her beloved by some ugly object from that cow tittied lich! Now move over!"

"What's with that manly reply!? Don't you know anything about foreplay!?"

"I said MOVE!"

**~/~**

After the rather, heated moment that played out. The two are laying on the bed wrapped together by Kazuma's blanket. With his body behind hers, Kazuma wraps his arms around the young mage as she holds onto his arms gently around her neck. Sharing such a tender moment with each other would cause an intimate tension between the two as they bond over the embrace.

Except all forms of anticipation and excitement were sucked out of the room by the grotesque object they could not pry their eyes from.

"I think I saw it moved." Megumin muttered.

"Please don't make jokes like that."

Half an hour had come to pass when the two join the bed together with Kazuma hoping the curse would eventually take in effect. But as time went on, it was becoming more and more clear that this object is only succeeding the complete opposite of what it was suppose to do.

"Have you been having trouble sleeping lately?" Megumin inquired about his earlier false claim.

"Of course not, everyone knows a woman by his side is the best treatment for sleep."

Megumin tried to hide her smile from him at the comment, though Kazuma was more focus on saying it to shut down further questions. He still made a mental high five with himself for coming up with a smooth line.

"Can I at least cover it with something?" she continued.

"Good idea, try using your shirt."

Well that pretty much nullified the last comment.

"As if! Why don't you use your shirt!?"

"Oh? Does Megumin want her Kazuma to strip-hurk!" A sharp elbow into his ribs said otherwise.

"Megumin wants her Kazuma to get rid of that damn thing."

"R-right..." Kazuma painfully exhales before rising up. He grabs the upper half of the box while making a mental note to get back at Vanir for selling him a dud object.

_Huh?_ Kazuma pauses as he looks at the inside of the box to discover it completely covered in similar seals from the ones on the outside.

_That's a bit overkill, it didn't do anything-_

_Creak._

Kazuma turns his head to his bedroom door that just opened ajar.

He turns back to look at Megumin who is already turned over with his blanket over her head, seemingly unaware of the door sound. Kazuma snaps his head back when the door suddenly closes causing them both to jump.

"W-what are you doing!?" Megumin bolted upright staring at Kazuma.

"Nothing! Someone was just peeking in on us! It must've been that pervert noble trying to catch us in an act!" Tossing the box aside, Kazuma storm towards the door.

"Darkness? Wait, Kazuma-!"

Bursting out into the hallway, Kazuma turns to his left just in time to hear her turning around the corridor at the far end.

"You can't run from me, damn it! You live here!" Kazuma begins his chase to punish the peeping tom.

"Kazuma!" Megumin shouted after him but to no avail.

Following the sound of the footsteps, Kazuma chases after the Crusader while trying to plan a revenge that wouldn't end up pleasing the masochist in anyway.

He enters another hallway where it splits again, the footsteps stopped but he could see a hand touching the corner at the end before slipping away.

"Is she enjoying this?"

"Kazuma!"

He turns back around to the young mage running after him.

After taking a moment to regain her breath she scowls, "How could you leave me alone with that thing?"

"But she… she started it!"

Megumin grabs onto his arm, "I don't care! That'll teach you next time to not lock the door."

_You were the one to enter last._ Kazuma frowns as he and Megumin both started to head back.

"Kazuma!"

He froze.

"Where did you go? I can barely see out here."

That voice. Its Megumin's. But its distant, a few halls away.

But that couldn't be. Because she's right… next to him…

"Ah there you are!" His head jerks up to look but her voice is still distant. He could feel the grip on his arm tightening.

"You got a lot of nerve leaving me like that-? Is something wrong?"

Kazuma slowly turns to the Megumin behind him, now holding a curved knife her face hidden in the shadows.

"AHHHH!" Kazuma screams as the imposter swings its knife at him.

He ducks just in time then follows up with a kick into its stomach, knocking the imposter back onto the floor.

Kazuma books it shouting out to Megumin, "That's not me! Get out of there!"

"Wha-AAAAH!" Kazuma turns the corner to see another imposter looking like him taking a swipe at the girl running away.

"Over here idiot!" Kazuma cried.

The impostor Kazuma turns around. Its face mostly obscured from the shadows except two bloodshot eyes. Raising a dagger it starts running after him instead.

"H-hey don't take it personal, if anything I should be more offended than-woah!" Kazuma jumps back as Fake Megumin charges at him.

He runs as he hears the two wildly swishing their daggers around after him.

M_egumin should be able to find the others soon, but I gotta lose them before I hit a dead end!_

Kazuma skids to halt just as he loses view of them and immediately enters the first door he could find, closing it the best he could without making a sound.

He pressed his back against it waiting to see if the impostors will try barging in. But their footsteps just went pass and faintly disappeared as they get farther away.

Trembling down to his knees, he walked towards the bed before collapsing on top.

_Where the hell did they come from? Aqua's barrier around the house should've prevented any undead and spirits from coming in._

Kazuma knew the fake copies as Doppelgangers from Wiz. They are spirits that take on the form of adventurers to surprise them. While they don't mimic their abilities, they can replicate their voices perfectly to trick separated party members. Getting killed by someone wearing your own face is more macabre than

Kazuma slips underneath the blanket feeling like an eight year old afraid his leg will be grabbed from underneath.

_I'll just hide in here until the sunrise… huh? This smell…_

Kazuma presses his face against the bed.

_This is… Megumin's bed._

_Megumin!_

Kazuma bolts up clutching his head after realizing that there might be more Doppelgangers in the mansion.

_If she got to Aqua then she'll be safe! But, what if there is another lurking around? And knowing that useless goddess she would easily fall for their tricks even if she was staring at herself! And Megumin can't defend herself without using Explo-SHIT, she'll blow up the mansion!_

Kazuma places both his hands down on the bed readying to charge out. But pauses once he felt something with his right.

"!? This is…"

Megumin barges into her room and slams the door shut behind her. Panting heavily, she presses her ear against the frame listening for footsteps. After a few seconds of nothing, she drops to the floor sniffling.

"Ka-Kazuma…"

"Ah, Megu!?"

Her eyes widened with joy as she looks up, "Kazuma-huh?"

Megumin stares at the man she loves who is currently sitting upon her bed with her black panties stretched across his head.

Please be the imposter. Kazuma pleaded.

"Yup," Megumin monotones while staring daggers at him, "that's my Kazuma. Despicable Kazuma."

**~/~**

"To think that you would seriously take advantage of this moment to raid my personal quarters."

The two adventurers are now hiding underneath the bed watching the space beneath the door closely for anyone passing through.

"I wasn't! I just happened to pick the first room I could find!"

"Oh, so you would do the same in Darkness'?"

"That's not what I meant!"

"I was being chased by these Doppelgangers while my beloved was indulging himself on my belongings. I suppose I'm to believe that you were going to wear my panties to disguise yourself from them?"

"T-this isn't the time to-"

"I agree! This wouldn't be the time for you to stuff your face in my underwear!"

"Shh! Keep it down! I'm sorry, okay!"

The two paused as they try to listen in for any quick footsteps heading to their area.

"... we're clear. But why would Doppelgangers come to our home?"

Megumin shot Kazuma a quizzical glance before saying, "Really? Nothing comes to mind other than that hideous statue from a lich?"

"I-" Kazuma opens his mouth to protest but realizes how the statue wasn't performing what it should've done and how there was an absurd amount of seals inside and outside the box.

_That would explain everything, but then why did they waited until Darkness-_

"Oh shit! Did you find Darkness before you ran here?"

"Of course not, she isn't home."

"... what?"

"She left this morning because her family was invited to a dinner party."

"And she didn't invite us?"

"Would you?"

Fair point. Then the peeping tom wasn't her at all. They were trying to separate us and like an idiot I fell for it!

"Were you able to find Aqua at least? She should be making short work of those-"

"She got arrested."

"What!?"

"She was caught with a few Axis cult followers for trying to publicly dissuade people from attending the Church of Eris by spreading lies about the priest's love life. Which was personally taken care of by Darkness, before she departed. You didn't notice their absence during dinner?"

Kazuma thought back and realized how uncannily quiet the meal was. Though his thoughts were switching between his excitement for the night, the swindle of his 3 million eris share, and watching the lips that were on his cheek enjoying his food.

_You mean to tell me, that we finally have the entire place to ourselves the entire night. And the only person who got in the way and placed both our lives in danger because I wanted to sleep with Megumin is me?_

"Tch," Kazuma clutches his face to hide his grimace from her. But the Archwizard caught him in the act.

"I'm sorry…"

"Hey, it's not your fault."

_It is. It's literally no one else's fault._

"You wouldn't have known that thing would cause this. You wouldn't willingly put us in danger, and you wouldn't hesitate to offer your life to stop it. Just before you saved my life by warning me and grabbing both their attention so I could get away. Thats what I love about you.

"And to be honest, I was so scared of seeing that thing wearing your face trying to hurt me. I was so afraid and worried, unsure if I were to run into you or the fake Kazuma. But seeing you in here, wearing my panties on your head-

_Ack!_

"I was annoyed but seeing you being yourself was really comforting too. So I'll just consider it a reward for saving me… but next time you should've ask-"

Kazuma somberly stares at the floor listening to her every word. But the last part took him a good minute to register causing his head to snap up to look at her.

"Wait, what did you just say?"

"Nothing!"

"Say it again."

"I was annoyed but relieved?"

"Not that part! After that!"

"If you knew what I said then why are you making me repeat it!?"

"Because I want to hear you say it!"

Both of them jumped as the door to the room slams open.

"Darkness blacker than black and darker-mmph!"

"Don't blow us up too!" Kazuma whispers while keeping the short fuse shut, "They haven't notice us under the bed, wait for them to walk around then we run... now!"

Kazuma dives forward and pulls Megumin out from under the bed before the two impostor spirits were able to react. The two residents ran down the halls alongside each other until Megumin tries to turn towards the stairs to the main entrance only to be pulled away by Kazuma.

"Where are we going!?" she cries.

"If the Doppelgangers were here because of that damn statue then putting it back in the box should make them disappear!"

"Are you sure!?"

"That's usually how horror movies work!"

"Horror _what__? _That doesn't sound-gah!"

"Megumin!" Kazuma pulls her forward and kicks back the Fake Megumin who nearly had took a slice at her back.

The Fake Kazuma emerges from the corner behind it with slow, jerky movements.

"Get to my room and put that stupid thing back in the box!" Kazuma shouted to her.

"What are you-"

"I'll slow them down! Go!"

Megumin gave him a mixed expression of worry and admiration before running off without a word.

The two impostors stares at Kazuma as they slowly walk towards him, scratching the walls with their dagger which only served to irritate him more than feel scared. Just who do they think this house belongs to?

_Physical attacks are less effective. I can hit them but without a weapon I won't be able to kill them. They're susceptible to magic but I only know Basic Magic. I'll just have to survive as long as I can!_

Kazuma holds up his arm which causes the impostors to suddenly start charging at him.

"Create Water!" a jet of water blasts out of his hand, covering the entire hall and hitting the impostors but did no effect to impede their assault. He holds out his other hand and shouts, "Freeze!"

A coat of ice glazes over the wet surfaces of the floor. The Fake Kazuma slips and face smacks against the ice causing Kazuma to cringe at watching himself taking the hard fall.

The Fake Megumin was quick however and jumped before the ice reaches her. Using the momentum of the jump, she lands back down and slides toward Kazuma before taking a swing.

"She's even more useful than the real one!" Kazuma dodges the attack, but missed the follow-up as the dagger twirls in her hand before pulling it back and cutting across his right arm.

"Urk!" Kazuma jumps back, clutching his now bleeding arm. Fortunately the cut isn't deep but he could see the other Faker slowly getting back up.

Holding out his good arm towards the Fake Megumin and looking at the dagger she's holding, he shouts "Steal!"

A bright light flashes in his hand, he smirks for finally getting the advantage he needed for this fight... except his smile went away when he felt a familiar clothing material.

A black A-cup bra.

"Why am I like this?" Kazuma groans.

The Fake Megumin, undisturbed by it's missing undergarment, charges at him. Kazuma moves to the side but pull both ends of the bra straps over the arm that is holding the weapon. He twists them in place and forcefully throws the impostor over his shoulder and slams her against the ground. The dagger came flying out of her hand far to the hall away from them.

As Kazuma turns to the direction of where the blade went, another dagger was sent flying cutting partially into his hand and the bra by the Fake Kazuma. The Fake Megumin then spins with a kick sweeping him off his feet before landing hard on the back of his head.

He struggles to get up but got slammed back to the ground by the Fake Megumin with both his arms pinned down by her legs. She forces both her hands around his neck and began squeezing him. Kicking his legs frantically, Kazuma tries to choke out any spells he could use to help him but the pressure on his throat could only let out a gag.

_This could be it then..._

_At least... I'm going out... with a nice view... _He tilts his head slightly at the area between her legs close to him.

As his sight begins to blur, Kazuma notices a strange streak of blue flickering at the edges of his peripheral vision. The color brightens intensely and suddenly felt the pressure around his throat to loosen.

He lets out a cough and takes in the sweet air before his vision came back to reveal the impostor that is on top of him is now consumed in blue flames. It lets out a screech as it waves its arms around until the flames eats up every inch of its body until nothing is left. Kazuma leans up and looks back down the hall to see the evil version of himself was also being consumed by the same flames before collapsing on the now wet floor.

After witnessing the haunting image of himself being burned alive by weird magical flames, Kazuma lays back down taking a moment to process the mortality of his life and how he almost traded it for a haunted object that was suppose to help him get laid.

"Kazuma!" he hears the familiar cry of his name down the hall.

"Yes, I'm Kazuma." He sits up to meet Megumin who is now holding the box containing the ugly statue hoarding the evil spirits. She places down the box then tackles him with a hug.

"Hey! You should warn me before hugging me like that! It's kind of embarrassing..." Kazuma's face flushes before Megumin's face pressing against his cheek.

_Heh, well I guess it is proper reward for a hero like me... eh?_

"H-hey, Megumin. You're kind of... hurk! Squeezing too tight!"

"Kazuma..." His blood ices over by the sound of her voice sharpened like a knife. "What is this?"

Still keeping him in a tight lock, she holds out a piece of paper next to his face. His widened when he recognizes the receipt listing the item he bought but told Megumin was a gift.

"I-I can explain-hurk! P-please! I couldn't-!"

The doorbell to their estate rang breaking Megumin's concentration on her grip giving Kazuma the moment he needed to run. "Hey! Get back here!"

He grabs the box and flees downstairs. "I'm just going to return this now! I'll be back, promise!" he lies.

After reaching the entrance, he slams open the front door only to be greeted by the bright sun that was now emerging from the distance.

"Ah, you're still alive. Good!" Vanir smiles.

Kazuma rubs his eyes, taken back by the amount of time lost and the Ex-Demon General making an odd greeting to him. Feeling the rage clawing its way up his throat, Kazuma points at the masked man.

"YOU!"

"Yes, I am me."

"That's my line! You and Wiz told me that this object was suppose to make us intimate to each other! But all we got was a real life slasher film!"

"I have no idea what this 'film' you speak of is, but I am here to regretfully inform you that there was a... slip up, if you will." Vanir gave a smile like he just discovered he put on a pair of different socks on.

"Hah?"

"The object you have there is actually an old cursed relic that is used as an assassination attempt between feuding nobles by releasing vengeful spirits in their homes by disguising it as a gift. I'm rather surprised that the two of you would encounter such trouble, considering it would only trigger when you place a name of the targets underneath it."

Kazuma pales when he remembers the receipt containing both his and Megumin's name that he placed the relic on.

"But given it's unsightly appearance, it hasn't really gotten much use. As you may recall, I was taking inventory of all the products Wiz has in store. And I discovered that foolish woman placed both this object and the one you were told what it was in similar boxes with no distinguishable labels. How that woman wasn't chased out of town or put to a burning stake before I arrived is still a mystery to me...

"I also regret to inform you the Vessel of Lilith was actually sold a long time ago, though I imagine you had your share of such relics. Now we can perform the transaction now if you would please show me the receipt."

"... here..."

"And the unopened product?"

"HUH!?"

"A jest! Oh don't look at me like that. If you and the Comedian mage girl are still interested in siring a child remember, my contract offer still stands." With the box under his arm, Vanir turns to leave while giving him a wave goodbye. "Though judging the murderous expression of her face, perhaps tomorrow then!"

Kazuma slowly turns to face the boiling, explosive red-eyed mage standing there during the entire conversation.

"You... bought the cursed object that nearly tried to kill us... just because you're too much a wimp to ask for sex!?"

"D-don't say it like that! And I didn't know it would try to kill us-I mean, I would never buy it if I knew-wait, so I can ask?"

"KAZUMA!" The Crimson Demon lunges forward.

"AHHHH!"

**~/~**

Yunyun knocks on the door to the estate. "Megumin! I-I want to apologize for yesterday! I shouldn't have bothered you and I... would appreciate if you apologize back, i-if you want!"

After not receiving an answer, Yunyun remembers what Kazuma said yesterday and opens the door. She freezes in place when she was met with the foyer covered in scratches, broken furniture, and holes.

Sensing it to be a break in, Yunyun charges in readying a spell in her hands. "Megumin!? Kazuma!? Are you two okay!? What-ugh!"

The young girl stops when she reaches the living room to find the disheveled, scratched up couple lying on top of each other sleeping peacefully. Kazuma's hand that was previously grabbing Megumin's hair was now resting on it. Megumin's head is resting upon his chest drooling with her arms that were previously trying to strangle him now laying over his shoulders.

What was obviously the result of a battle between the two looks more like a lovingly show of embrace to the guest. Yunyun's eyes began to well up in frustration before storming out of the place. "AHHH-nevermiiiind!"

Megumin raises her head to watch the sobbing girl disappearing into the distance before letting out a giggle.

"Another victory."

* * *

**Author's notes**

**Apologies to anyone who were expecting a sexy time between the two. I am going for a comedy first, romance second approach with the story. That being said, it wouldn't necessarily mean I will not include sex in later additions... probably...**

**But I hope you enjoy this chapter. More will be on the way but will take considerably longer due to work and school. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Doctor Megumin

**Doctor Megumin**

_"Hack!_ Gah! My head!" Kazuma clutches his forehead feeling like it might split open. He gently lays back down on the bed sniffling and letting out a small groan.

"Oh, quit whining, Kazuma! We all know you're just faking it to avoid quests." Kazuma shoots her an annoyed glare and tries reaching out his hand in a futile attempt to strangle the useless deity in his room.

_Just... a little closer!_

"Aww, are you so delirious with the fever you would beg to me to take the pain away? Oh, gentle soul. Worry not for the gracious and fair goddess Aqua shall pray for your recovery and wish good fortune upon your health." He couldn't tell whether she is still mocking him or switched to her uncharacteristic goddess side after misinterpreting his attempted assault for reaching out as a cry of help.

"That's enough, Aqua." Darkness enters the room carrying a saucer holding a pot of tea and a cup. Megumin trails behind her and glances at Kazuma worryingly with rosy cheeks.

"Here is some ginger tea. We'll stop by Wiz's place to pick up any remedies for the flu."

"If it really still is a flu. And why do we have to go to that place again? Can't we just wait till he drops the act out of boredom?"

"Quit accusing me of faking it!" Kazuma shouts, "If I was acting, you would be convinced that I was gonna die a dog's breath! I take pride in the skills I developed from faking sick days to avoid school you know!"

The three girls all gave Kazuma a stern look at his boasting which he promptly ignores as he tosses to the other side.

"And besides, aren't you a-" Kazuma lets out a strained cough, "-an Archpriest? Don't you have some magic that can heal this?"

Aqua frowns, "Of course not, pathogens in this world may be similar to yours but here they have adapted magical resistances to healing."

_Neat, so viruses can gain skills too. Wait would that mean they can become stronger overall because of magic. Could my immune system be at risk with an illness from another world!?_

_"_O-oi Aqua, you did give me some form of magic immunity boost before dropping me to this world, right?" Aqua taps the bottom part of her chin as she ponders the question.

"Can't remember, but we'll see tomorrow if you ended up croaking overnight."

"Did you seriously just say that casually?"

Feeling parched, Kazuma tries to lift the pot of tea but quickly decides against it when another fit of coughs erupted.

"Let me." Megumin pours him a cup and holds for him. Kazuma leans in and takes a sip then retracts his head back. "Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot!"

"Blow on it then." she giggles, "Here, I'll do it." Kazuma watches Megumin bringing the steaming hot tea to her mouth and gently parts her lips to blow. His stomach became agitated and his heart began to race at the sight as she takes a few seconds to cool off the drink before bringing back to him.

"T-thanks." was all he could manage to say before taking another sip, "Mmm, still hot-"

"I can help with that!" Before the two could say anything, Aqua dips her finger into the cup of tea and gave it a small swirl. She pulls out to reveal the cup of tea is now purified back to cold water.

Feeling her own inner Detect Foe raising an alarm, Darkness jumps to her aid by pulling her aside and saying, "We'll be on our way to the shop now! Get plenty of rest, Kazuma. And Megumin can you please return the pot when he is done? Okay bye!"

"Ow! You're pulling too hard! Quit it!"

Hearing their voices finally disappearing in the background, Kazuma drops his head back onto his pillow and closes his eyes for a moment to brace for another headache. A faint humming grabs his attention as he turns to his side to watch Megumin happily disposing the purified water out the window and pours another cup.

_What's she so happy about? Ah-_

"Open up~" Megumin beams as she presents fresh tea before him.

"Okay..."

"Is it cooled enough?"

"Yes."

"Are you warm under that blanket?"

"Yes..."

"Do you-"

"QUIT TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD-!" Kazuma pulls back as he lets out another coughing fit. He had always dream being taken care of and spoiled by a harem of gorgeous girls while he lazes around and play video games. Yet when he saw how Megumin started treating him he realized he never thought what it really feels to be nurtured by someone who loves him. It's pleasant but also so embarrassing he could barely look at her in the eye with all the attention she's giving him.

Megumin was taken aback by his sudden burst then scowls at him, "Oh, it's not fun to be treated like a child, huh?"

She places the cup back on the stand then reaches her hand towards Kazuma's cheek and gently pulls it like a mother playing with her baby.

"My little Kazuma~"

"_Hnngh!? _Q-quit it!" Kazuma turns his face to pry the Archwizard's hand away and pulls the covers over his head. "Just who the hell are you calling 'little'!? Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately?"

"Aww, is widdle Kazuma grumpy that he has to spend the night without his Megumin?"

"W-what kind of response is that!? You should be sticking that barren field of yours out and shout out a line like 'Who you are calling little, you trash!'"

"Keep your voice down, you're going to strain that throat of yours even further."

Kazuma slowly pulls the cover down below his eyes to stare at the stranger in his room. He was expecting an aggressive comeback for that jab he made about her size again, but the words seem to just bounce off her ebullience.

"Oi, are you feeling okay?"

Megumin blinks at his response before replying, "Huh? What do you mean?"

"You're acting a bit weird… well, weirder than usual. Are you enjoying this?"

"I'm just trying to help, am I saying anything weird?"

Kazuma stares at her again trying to see if there's any deceit in her eyes, but all he sees is genuine confusion before she blushes and shifts away. "What's with that stare? Is there something on my face?"

"Nothing… if you don't mind, I want to get some sleep now." He turns over away from her trying to control his breathing to calm the butterflies going off in his stomach.

Megumin said nothing as she places the tea set back onto the saucer and carries it out of his room. Kazuma felt a pang of guilt striking at him for pushing her away like that but he couldn't handle the out of character treatment she was giving him, especially with his mind being scrambled by the illness. His heart was beating hard like the first moment when she confessed her feelings to him that fateful night. Being put into a test with his inexperience with relationships he was too afraid to give an immediate answer, afraid to say something that would jeopardize everything between them.

_Damn it, why am I making such a fuss? I wouldn't mind being spoiled. I was just caught off guard and the way she was going on about it was too casual. Am I just being a child?_

As Kazuma lays in his bed pondering about his actions, downstairs Megumin scours out the pot in the kitchen sink thinking back to what he said to her earlier. Almost as if she was broke free from a trance, she suddenly screams and throws the pot to the ground.

"STICK OUT MY 'BARREN FIELD'? How did I missed him saying that!? The nerve of that guy! I should just go back up there and blow up his-ah!" Megumin kneels upon realizing the shattered tea pot that belonged to Darkness.

"Ahh! She's going to kill me if she finds out!" She quickly cleans up the mess and disposes it. She ran to grab her cloak and wizard hat before stepping outside to find another pot before the two return from their trip.

Though the moment she charges out the door, her face was smacked against a cushy wall causing her to fall back on her butt.

"A-ah! M-Megumin?" Yunyun drops to her knees before the girl, "I'm sorry! I was about to knock but I heard a crash and thought- "

"Yunyun!" Megumin jumps up to her feet and grabs her rival by the shoulders. "Come with me, I need you!"

"You-you do?"

She flashes a kind smile to her fellow clan member saying, "Of course! You're the only one I can trust to help me in my time of need. Let's put aside our differences and help one another so that we may continue our destined paths as rivals!"

"Of course! Whatever you need! I'll do my best, I promise!"

"Now, to the antique store!"

"… huh?"

~/~

"Waaah, I should've known you would pull this trick on me!" Yunyun cries as she follows Megumin strolling through the streets while holding a bag with the new teapot in one hand and a popsicle in the other that she both ended up paying for.

"Quit crying, it's really your fault for not seeing through my scheme." Megumin waves the bag before her.

"You're seriously the worse! Why can't you get Kazuma to buy it for you instead?"

"He isn't feeling well…" Yunyun's expression softens upon the words.

"Oh. Well, never mind it then. You could've told me it was for him."

"Don't get the wrong idea!" Megumin snapped, "It was his fault to begin with for having an attitude with me for trying to help. He even said I was acting weird."

"I could hardly blame him, it's hard to imagine you helping someone that's not your own family."

"What was that? Are you looking for a fight?" Megumin brightly glares at the girl.

"I-I'm just saying that it probably just scared him-ah, no not scared I mean shocked-no wait, I mean it is his fault for overreacting! It's natural to act different to someone you care about when they're feeling ill, he should've been more considerate."

"No… I don't think he was trying to be rude." Megumin looks to the ground as the colors of her cheeks rose. "Maybe I was acting strange, but… just seeing him lay there, weak and helpless, he looked so cute and I felt a sudden urge to protect him…"

_Heh? Cute? Kazuma? I guess when you're in love that's just how it looks to you… must be nice. _Yunyun sighs. Despite her envy, she couldn't help but smile seeing how much their relationship impacted her rival. The same Megumin who had no interest in girl talks or romance during school now standing before her lovestruck and maturing.

"Megumin."

"Hmm?"

"If you want, I wouldn't mind helping you out with this kind of stuff. If you need a friend-I mean, someone who knows a bit about dating and relationships I can help fill that role for you. Even if it's just someone you need to listen to you, I promise to lend a hand in whatever way I can."

"Yunyun…" Megumin looks at her rival with surprise in her eyes hearing her words of affection. She gives a warm smile before it twists into a snarky grin, "Sorry, but what advice could you possibly give to someone who has already stand above you in woman status. You're like a student telling their master what they already should know."

Yunyun stares dumfounded at the girl gloating to her for a long moment before letting out a frustrated screech and charges at her.

"Eh, what's with you-hey! Let go of me! Stop! You're going to break this thing! NOOOO!"

~/~

Night has already fallen in past couple of hours at the mansion. Kazuma sits against his bed playing on his game console after recovering a bit thanks to Wiz's medicine. Though he's now able to have enough strength to leave his bed, his migraine is still plaguing him and the flashing lights from the game is forcing him to cut it off early.

"Ugh… so bored," he groans, "To do nothing but sleep all day really takes the fun out of it. I probably wouldn't even mind going on an easy quest instead just to break the monotony."

With no other choice to do, he plops down onto his bed and pulls the covers over. With all the rest he's been getting, it would take a while for him to get more shut eye until morning. If only he wasn't contagious, he would probably be able to pass the night if Megumin is laying by his side.

His mind began replaying the moment when she was treating him earlier today. At the time it was embarrassing, but now thinking back he couldn't help but smile and feel warm inside. If only he hadn't pushed her away, he would've had a cute girl tending to his every need. To keep blowing on his tea with her lips, massage part of his body, and help him bathe…

"Kazuma, are you awake?" a muffled voice calls out to him from behind.

Breaking out of his thoughts, Kazuma pulls down the covers and turns over to be met face to face with a long beak mask staring at him with red glow from the eye holes. Suppressed sounds of breathing escapes from it as their eye contact remains over a minute long before Kazuma jumps back screaming.

"Calm down! It's me!" the Plague Doctor lifts up its mask to reveal the red eye party mage.

"Megumin? What's with the get up?"

The mage chuckles before striking pose, "I, Megumin of the Crimson Magic clan, have journeyed throughout the lands studying medicine under the Mad Doctor of the West in hopes to find the cure for her ailing beloved from a ravaging disease that is tearing the nation apart and taking lives by the minute. Will she discover the truth behind the Black Spores, or will death be truly do us apart?"

Kazuma stares at the brat displaying her chuunibyou stage again. The change from Explosions is quite a fresh of breath air but doesn't make it any less irritating.

"There's too many holes for me to even pick from that monologue, so I'll just ask again. Where you get the outfit?"

"… I had Yunyun buy me an Alchemist starter set and I thought this mask looked cool."

"What possessed you to take a sudden interest in alchemy?" Kazuma looks over her body. She's wearing the traditional black garbs you would see Plague Doctors would wear except the pair of black shorts revealing her thin legs with bandages wrapping each below the knee. He must admit that she makes a cute doctor without the mask which is now hanging above her head making her look like a dumb unicorn.

"If you wanted to dress up for me, you should've gone for a more suggestive nurse outfit." Kazuma smirks.

"This isn't for that kind of thing! I'm here to take care of you." Megumin shifts her head to the side however and muttered something about "_Damn it…"_

"Look that's nice and all but I'm already about to recover by tomorrow. Plus, don't you need to invest skill points to do alchemy in this world too?" Kazuma highly doubts that the Explosion obsessed mage would ever break her stubbornness and invest into a different skill.

"Don't have to! I'm the number one genius of my clan, combining ingredients and making potions is nothing to me!" She plops down and opens the satchel that was hanging from her side.

Despite the red flags blaring, another migraine erupts suddenly causing Kazuma to clutch his forehead. She did say that it was an Alchemist starter kit, so he doubts there would be anything in there that could kill him... hopefully.

"Alright, I'll bite. You got anything to ease this headache?"

"O-of course!" Megumin beams and starts pulling out various plants and flasks. She went to work using a mortar and pestle to crush some materials. Kazuma couldn't tell what she could be doing wrong since his expertise is no better but the amount of concentration and care she's putting into is easing any doubts he has about this.

Finally, Megumin presents him a small flask of bright liquid.

"Drink this!"

_If anything, it's probably just a weak healing potion. Maybe that would at least lighten the migraine. Bottom's up._

Kazuma swallows the potion in one go, it was unexpectedly sweet to taste and left a weird tangy aftertaste.

"… so?" Megumin's face draws close to him, her eyes gazing into his with excitement.

"You're too close!" Kazuma pulls away, "I don't feel anything different… the migraine's still there. Is this just a regular healing potion?"

Kazuma looks back at the girl who is now staring in disbelief above his head.

"… what?"

"Huh? N-nothing!" she says but her eyes flicks back to the top of his head.

"… Megumin… What do you see?"

"… don't be mad."

"That's not going to be possible."

Megumin timidly pulls out a small hand mirror and angles it before him. Kazuma stares at his reflection to see a small sprout on the top of his head with two tiny leaves sticking out.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME!?"

"I don't know!" Megumin pulls out a small book and flips through the pages, "It was supposed to be a headache medication! Oh, wait should I have used only half of the root? Huh? The base was supposed to be boiled from bear's claw not tiger's?"

"Oi, you better fix this right now." Kazuma glares with intense rage, putting her signature eye glow to shame.

"I-it's temporary! I swear! But I'll get to working on a dispelling potion, that should fix it!"

After a few minutes of assembling the ingredients under the wrathful eyes of her patient, Megumin presents another flask before him.

"It looks clear, are you sure it isn't just water or some type of acid?"

"The clearness of it is the sign that's a dispelling potion! That's what the book says!"

Kazuma takes the flask in his hands and hesitates before bringing to his lips. If worse comes to worse and it ends up killing him, at least he can tell the Goddess Eris to punish her by giving her the worst luck for a day.

He gulps down the potion.

Megumin watches him carefully for any signs of trouble before she notices the sprout above his head suddenly fell and withers away.

"It worked! Kazuma! How do you feel?"

Kazuma silently stares at the pretend alchemist for a while before opening his mouth.

"Woof."

"… woof?" she repeated.

"Woof! Woof!" Kazuma suddenly jumps down from his bed on all fours and began barking loudly like a dog.

"Wha-stop making fun of me, Kazuma! There's no way a potion could accidentally turn you into a-oh, no actually it says here if administered all at once symptoms may include stomach cramps, itchy back, and causing the mind to revert into a canine animal."

"Arf! Arf! Arf!" Dogzuma prances around the floor before turning its eyes on Megumin with his tongue hanging out and panting.

"D-down boy! Just stay there while I try to recreate another dispel potion, I'll just have given you a couple of drops before-ahh!" Megumin was suddenly pounced on by Dogzuma who then proceeds to start licking her.

"S-stop! This is so gross! I-I'm not even ready! Ah! Not there!"

The door to the room opens and a certain blue hair deity pop in, "Hey! Keep it down you damn hikkiNEET! What are you even- "

"Ah," Megumin looks at Aqua as she's pinned down by Dogzuma who is still licking her face excitingly before turning his head to the goddess panting.

Without another word, the door closes.

Downstairs, Darkness is staring at the teapot Megumin brought home before they got back from Wiz.

"I swear there's something different about this thing… ah, Aqua is something the matter?"

The goddess walks up to the crusader, her eyes wide in horror and her mouth open in a frozen, inaudible scream. She looks up at Darkness with tears welling up.

"Darkness, I'm a goddess."

"… Yes, Aqua. I know, you tell us that every- "

"No," she interrupts, her voice cracking. "I'm a goddess. That means my life is much longer than any mortal in this world. I will see the rise and fall of new nations; I will witness the end of all living creatures and eventually humanity. I would probably live until time itself ceases to exist. And throughout all those years, I will forever remember that horrible scene. Forever and ever…"

"Huh? Aqua! Wait! What did you see!? Tell me!"

Meanwhle, Megumin manages to distract her pet by throwing around his pillow for him to catch while she works on another potion.

"Finally! Come here, boy!" Dogzuma trots over to her and tries to give her another lick before she grabs his head and tilts it back to give him a couple of drops.

_I wouldn't mind for him to stay like this… but all that licking is too much. Wait, dogs do that as a sign of affection, right? Does that mean-_

"Kazuma!" Megumin catches the man before his body drops to the floor.

"Ughh, what happened?" Kazuma lifts his head and notices Megumin's face covered in something wet. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing! It's just sweat!" she laughs nervously as her face went beet red.

Another migraine hits Kazuma causing him to groan in frustration.

"After all that? Seriously? Cut me some slack!" He turns his head to see Megumin already preparing another potion for him.

Silently as best he could, he tries to crawl away from her only to have his foot suddenly grabbed in an iron like grip.

Her eyes shone red as she turns holding another completed flask. "You're not going anywhere; you need to be in bed."

"Let go of me! Aqua! Darkness! Help!"

"Stop screaming! I'm just trying to help! Now swallow it!"

"I prefer your earlier moment than this! Is this what this is about!? Are you trying to punish me for pushing you away!? I'm sorry alright, now let me go!"

"Of course not! I just felt that I wasn't doing enough for you! I want to take care of you! So, let me take care of you!" Megumin props herself on top of him and tries to force the potion into his mouth. Kazuma grabs onto her arms while keeping his mouth shut but her surprising strength is taking over his weakened body.

_I'd like for you to take care of me, but not like this! _Was what he wishes he could say but is not letting her have the chance to even give one drop.

Megumin scorns at him before suddenly shifting her expression into a soft smile.

"Kazuma~"

"?" he stares at her change of demeanor as she leans her head towards him. Her lips purse together, and her eyes closes as the distance between them draws closer.

_W-wait! Hold on! This isn't the time for that! If you think you can just coerce me with a kiss to let you poison me think again-_

"Pew," she blows.

"Wah-hrmm!" the moment he opens his mouth she pops the flask down. His cheeks swell a bit from the invading liquid as he tries to fight back from swallowing.

Megumin rises and places her hands by her hips in victory. "See, that wasn't so bad! I made sure to check the right amount of ingredients and how to administer it this time. So how do you feel now, Kazuma?"

Kazuma slowly rises, his head facing downward away from her.

"Kazuma?" Megumin suddenly felt his hands holding both sides of her face, "W-what are you-mmm!?"

Her voice got cut out as she was pulled towards his lips. She lets out a small sound of shock but offered no resistance. Her heart pounds heavily against her chest and her mind races but the feeling swept her away and she relaxes as their kiss continues. Her mouth parted slightly to let out a small moan.

"-mmm!?" suddenly she felt a torrent of liquid flooding into her mouth. She pulls away and painfully swallows the potion and air together and coughs.

Kazuma lets out a cough too and spits, "Damn it, I hope tasting it won't affect me."

"What the hell!" Megumin grabs him and starts shaking, "How could you just take my first kiss like that just to force that potion I made for you into me! Why am I even surprised, of course that's how it would go! You're just a coward who only take a step further for his own benefit!"

"I'm not just going to let you experiment me like that! A-and don't call it a kiss, it hardly counts!"

Megumin lets go of his shirt and looks away while clutching at her chest. Kazuma scratches his head feeling his heart tightening by the guilt of his action. His eyes drifted to the mess around her alchemist's satchel.

_I want to take care of you._

"I'm sorry. Megu, I- "

"Redo."

"Huh?" Megumin looks up at him with her cheeks red and her mouth fidgeting.

"If… if it doesn't count, then I want a redo… I want my first to be special, not just something that's done in the heat of the moment."

Kazuma gulps and kept his eyes on her no matter how much he really wants to pull away out of embarrassment. It wasn't fair to her, and he owes it to her that much. And if she was more than willing, what else could he say?

"Okay."

"Can you… do it again? Hold my face like before?"

Kazuma obeyed and gently caresses her cheek with his right hand. She holds it with both her arms, gazing into his eyes as their faces draw nearer again. Her unsteady breathing was taking in Kazuma's breath before their lips connect again.

Megumin closes her eyes, feeling the warmth spreading through her mouth. His hand gently rubbing her cheek with his thumb, making her tighten her grip on his arm afraid to let go.

Kazuma lets his hand travel to her hair, feeling it cascading through his fingers. He felt response through her mouth, it sounded pleasant and she made no effort to stop so he continues stroking it. Her mouth opens invitingly for him but before he could take the moment in, she suddenly drew back making a small pop from their lips.

"What's wrong?" Kazuma's blood ran cold, feeling afraid that he might've misread the situation and done something uncomfortable to her. But then he hears a loud cough.

"_Cough! Cough!_" Megumin covers her mouth as her head throws itself with each cough.

Kazuma suddenly felt an urge as well and ended up coughing along with her as well before realizing it to be out of control.

"What's-_cough cough-_going on!"

"I-c_ough cough_-I don't know! I-_cough cough cough_-knew you might be contagious, but it shouldn't-_cough_-be this fast!"

Kazuma clears his throat and picks up the book from the floor. His eyes stopped at the phrase where the page was open on listing the possible symptoms of a failed potion.

"Accelerates-_cough cough_-sickness!?" he cries, "Why is that a symptom!? What is wrong with this-c_ough cough_-damn world!?"

~/~

"Honestly, we leave you two by yourselves last night and not only did Kazuma got worse, but you caught it too Megumin!?"

Darkness folds her arms while staring at the two sick members of the party sitting on the floor with a blanket wrapping them together as they stare at the screen while playing the console.

"Don't blame me," Kazuma chimes in, "is this one's fault for not investing into alchemy skills."

"As if I'll take any points away from-cough-explosions. Investing in useless general skills is more of your alley." Megumin mutters while keeping her eyes on the screen.

"Ugh," Darkness rubs her temples and head towards the door, "I'll go prepare some tea and pick up more medicine. To think I would end up babysitting two sick people and a traumatized Aqua. I'm not even married, why do I have to be the mother…"

"What was that about Aqua?" Kazuma asks.

"Who knows."

Kazuma looks down at Megumin who is currently sitting in front of him. Suddenly realizing them being this close and playing games made him nervous but also strangely comforting.

"Hey, Megumin."

"Hmm?" she turns her head to look up at him.

"You, uh… let's make up for the time we lost and do a quest the moment we feel better. I'll let you pick, but nothing too crazy, got it?"

Kazuma looks away when Megumin continues to gaze at him in surprise before smiling brightly.

"Okay!"


	5. That's not how I remember it

**That's not how I remember it**

_During my days in Japan, I spent most of my life staying inside the comfort of my own home playing video games and watching anime by avoiding school. But one fateful day when I left my room to get the limited-edition copy of the new MMO that came out, I saved a girl from getting ran over by a truck and got myself killed instead._

_That might've been the end for me but instead I woke up to find myself in a room with an annoying goddess who informed me the truth of my really, really embarrassing death and promised me a new life of adventure like that of the MMO games I always played. After having up to here with the so-called deity after treating me like crap, she presented me the choice to bring anything with me to the world. So, I chose her and dragged her with me as a party member only to be surprised at how useless she really is!_

_After recruiting an explosive-obsessed mage and a perverted masochist paladin, I started what I thought was to be an adventure of a lifetime only to discover it as a lifetime of debts, deaths, and dolts. Though I guess some good things did happened here in this world that I would never have in my old life. I ended up becoming filthy rich, our party are well known (for better or for worse) after slaying numerous Demon Generals, and to think I would end up having feelings for a certain someone who loves me unconditionally who is now currently riding on my back._

_Still, wouldn't hurt anyone at all if fate decided to ease up on the beatings my life had to endure. Who knew that a Japanese girl from another world would have to deal with such crap like this? I just want to hole up in my room, eat snacks and play games, and wait for some other hero-in-the-making-shmuck to slay the Demon Queen._

"Megumi! Megumi!"

"Yes, I'm Megumi."

"Were you impressed by that explosion just now? I think that may have been my best one!" the boy shuffles excitingly making the female adventurer readjust her grips on his leg.

"Kazuman! Keep still or you're going to fall off!" Megumi shouted. "It is impressive I'll give you that. But you know what would be even _more _impressive?" She turns her head to him and gives him a sweet smile.

"I'm not going to learn other magic."

"Worth a shot." Her expression sours and glances away to avoid the red glare.

"You may be an explosion sommelier, but you still have yet to grasp the majestic feeling of what it's like to reduce mountains and armies to naught but ash and cinder. How it feels to wield the very essence of destruction in the palm of your hand."

"And how exquisite the taste of dirt must be when you face plant into the ground after every cast." Megumi snorted.

"Such is the cost for power."

"Would that cost be usefulness? Hope you still got the receipt…"

"There you go again! I'm not useless! I slain Demon Generals and toppled a Mobile Fortress Destroyer!"

Megumin nods, "I guess so… after you spent most of your time twiddling your little thumbs until our party took care most of the work."

Kazuman opens his mouth to retort but the realization of her words stung him. Crestfallen, he looks at the ground and mutters, "You're right."

"Huh?" the girl stops in her tracks and stares in shock at her male Archwizard.

"What good is a spell that hits really hard once if I can't even stand up after? In fact, why did I bother learning such magic? Advanced magic, intermediate magic, hell even Basic magic have more use than Explosion."

"What in the world are you talking about!?" Megumi shouts, "Explosion magic is the best! You said it yourself!"

"Calm down! Weren't you the one who been egging me to learn other spells since we met? And why are you so defensive about it, you don't even have Explosion magic on your card!"

"Of course, I do! I'm the number one mage from the Crimson Magic clan! The first in her class to become a sorcerer! And I won't stand for this insult!"

"W-what? But, _I'm_ from the Crimson Magic clan… right?"

The two stares at each other for a moment before simultaneously their brains finally clicked.

"AHHHHHHH!" they both scream except for Kazuma who got cut off from falling off her back.

"What are you doing with my clothes!?" Megumin points accusingly at the boy who is currently rubbing his head. "When did you do this!? How did you do this!? What kind of pervert are you!?"

"I didn't do anything! And besides you're wearing _my _clothes too! And what are-wait…"

Megumin feels the all too familiar appraising look Kazuma is giving her, except she notices his eyes are sticking to a certain part of her body. Feeling the blood flowing to her fist, she raises it readying to strike until she feels something shifting on her chest. She looks down.

"!?"

"H-hey, what do you think you're doing!?"

"K-Kazuma! It finally happened! I hit my growth spurt!" Megumin grasps at her now swollen chest. She breathes heavily as she moves them around, feeling an electric jolt coursing through her body with each pull.

"S-s-stop molesting yourself, damn it! We got more important things to settle here!" Kazuma protested but couldn't keep his eyes off her.

The Megumin he once knew has indeed grown to that of a well proportionate figure. Her chest is poked out almost like Darkness' and her hips have gotten wider and more pronounce. The clothes she's wearing is just the same as his but clings tightly around her body. She was already a beautiful girl in her small frame, but now seeing her like this while she's fondling herself in front of him, he could feel a marathon race in his chest.

He reaches his hand to his heart it out of fear of it bursting out but just noticed his own arm for the first time. He takes a moment to inspect his body only to discover it to be much smaller both in size and weight.

"What the hell!? Did I shrink!?"

Megumin turns her attention to Kazuma's shouts and finally realized the young man's body as well.

"You're so small. You look like a kid!" She looks over at Kazuma and then back at herself. She reaches into her belongings and pulls out her Adventurer card.

"Kazuma! I don't think it's just that I grew, and you shrunk! My adventurer's card says that I'm an Adventurer class!"

Kazuma pulls out his own too and gasps, "Mine says Archwizard? Did we just exchange classes somehow? But what happened to our-ahh!"

"What's wrong?"

He falls on all fours and stares at the ground with the most defeated look on his face. "My… skills… they're all WASTED! All I know is Explosion magic!"

"You…!" Megumin attempts to the strangle the now short Kazuma but instead withdrew her arms under her buoyant chest. "The only 'wasted' thing here is this pointlessly large skill set."

"Excuse you! That 'pointlessly large skill set' is what carried this team! I don't know what's going on here but as soon I figure out where to find the respec option I'm going to properly fill this card out with a real magic build!"

"Don't you dare waste my points like that!" Megumin gestures angerly at him, "Then I'll just change all your points into Explosion!"

"S-stop moving around so much!" Kazuma turns his head.

Megumin frowns at the weird response but caught the side glance he made at her body. She grins, "Hou…"

"W-what are you getting so close for!" Kazuma falls back onto the ground when his face turns back to meet with hers. Megumin bends down to look at him, purposely letting her new breasts stick out despite having no reveal in the chest area of her clothing. But it was enough for Kazuma to get a good sense.

"What's wrong?" she dallies, "Is little Kazuma nervous now that I became his ideal woman?"

"I-ideal? What are you on about!? Quite teasing me!"

"I'm not teasing~" She sits down in front of him with her hands by her sides and leans forward. "You're the one who can't resist looking… you want to touch them?"

"Yes."

She jerks back in surprise. "T-that was quick!"

"What, you expect me to pull a 'oblivious protagonist' cliché or pretend that my dignity is too good for this and let the opportunity pass? Just who do you think you're talking to?"

"Is that so…? Well…" she glances away suddenly feeling bashful, "Go-"

"GOD BLOW!"

"_HRRK!" _Megumin's face caves in from the right side of her face for a moment before she was sent flying across the plains.

"M-Megumin!?" Kazuma gazes at the limp former-Archwizard crumpled to the ground before turning his head to the goddess-

"Darkness!?"

The blonde woman before him is wearing the suggestive, divine attire that use to belong to Aqua but instead of the blue colors it was changed to yellow. She casts Kazuma a quizzical look before placing her hips by her side.

"Don't just call me by that! I'm Lalatina, the Goddess of Darkness, remember? I accept either Lady Lalatina, your Gracious Lalatina, or the Goddess of Darkness, Lalatina."

"I'm not going to call you any of that! And what do you mean goddess!?"

Darkness looks hurt by Kazuma's words, and instead of huffing and puffing like she usually would when she gets the slightest bit of disrespect, she swells her cheeks and tries to suppress her tears.

"What's with you!? First Megumi and now you? Is it so much to ask for praise, worship, and respect!?"

Kazuma stares agape at the woman. Was this a prank? Did they elaborately set up a plan to switch their classes and everything to freak him and Megumin out? If so then her impression of Aqua is so dead on it's downright terrifying.

Megumin slowly collects herself from the ground and looks back at the woman with the same incredulous stare he's giving her.

"D-Darkness!? Did you do that? Why!?"

"I told you it's LADY LALATINA!" says the woman who is now flailing her arms around like a child.

Kazuma suddenly feels a soft hug from behind with his head touching a hard piece metal. He looks up only to be met with Aqua's unusual kind face and winks at him.

"… what the hell is going on." he mutters.

"Honestly Megumi," Aqua spoke out, "just because he's the only male member of our party doesn't mean you have to sexually harass him all the time."

Megumin stares at the Goddess of Water, the same person who was dragged into this world with Kazuma, the same person who usually always rubs him the wrong way, the same person who never shown genuine care so casually as she wraps Kazuma in her arms as a way to protect him from her.

She opens her mouth planning to ask them what's going on but what came out instead is a monotone, threat sounding line.

"Get your hands off him." Megumin feels her face flaring up at the end of the realization. She wasn't sure if it was somehow a pang of jealousy or the just the disturbing sight of them getting along that made her like that.

The three party members stares at her in shock. Kazuma felt his heart skip a beat but his attention was suddenly pulled by the Aqua Crusader who shifts strangely behind him. "S-such a cold line…"

_What._

"Seriously, get a load of this Shotacon! I know boys his age would be very lucky to have a girlfriend, but you need to behave yourself! Always stealing his boxers and trying to get him to cope a feel from you in public! It's no wonder people from Axel town refers to you as Trashmi and Scummi."

"S-shotacon!?" Megumin exclaims in shock and humiliation.

_Seriously? That was the only part you picked up on? And besides the boxers part, that doesn't sound so bad to me…_

Kazuma looks back up at Aqua. She's decked out in the similar Crusader armor Darkness use to wear except without the shades of yellow it was blue instead. The girl notices his gaze and looks back down at him with a genuine smile like a protective older sister would to her kid brother.

Yeah, nothing about this feels right to him at all.

"Let go of me, useless."

Aqua recoils in shock by his blunt words but then fidgets her body and blushes. "S-so cruel…"

_Alright that's enough!_

"Quit it!" him and Megumin shouted in unison. The two swapped party members stares at the both of them and glances at each other.

"Quit what?" Darkness asks.

"The whole act! The different clothes! The personalities! It's all wrong!" Kazuma shouted.

"Yeah! And what's with the whole 'sexual harassment' accusations!? That's Kazuma's thing not mine! And who the hell calls me Scummi, I want names!"

"What the hell are you on about?" Darkness bends over with her hands at her hips. "Did you two hit your heads from the Explosion earlier? You're the bratty girl who dragged me from the heavens into this world all the while of you taking full advantage of us! And you're the so-called protégé of the Crimson Magic clan who mastered the most powerful magic of all!"

"Taking… advantage?" Kazuma repeated.

"So-called…?"

"Don't mix them up! You both know well what they're referring to! Now quit flirting with the boy and go slay the Demon Queen already, you shotacon!"

"Quit calling me that! I'm not doing anything for you, do it yourself!" Kazuma gazes in wonder at Megumin bickering with Darkness with a feeling of sympathy.

"_Waaaah! _I'm so sorry, Lady Megumi! I didn't mean it!" the Aqua-impersonating Darkness prostrates herself pathetically before her.

Megumin shoots Kazuma a look that says, 'let's get out of here'. He nods in agreement then shouts, "Hey Aqua! I forgot to mention that I left a particularly expensive wine bottle in your room earlier. Did you get it?"

The blue-hair crusader gives him a questioning look, "Huh? Oh, thanks Kazuman but where did you get the money to- "

"What!?" Darkness suddenly grabs Aqua by the collar, "You got that in your room, and you haven't even shared it with me yet!?"

"L-Lalatina, I didn't even- "

"We're heading over there to crack that bad boy open now!" The yellow goddess pulls the blue crusader away to the direction of their home. Leaving the two behind to take a moment to painfully process the strange events.

"… did she just call me Kazuman?"

~/~

"This must be a dream!" Kazuma exclaims as the two walks down the side of town. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary, except he notices certain people he usually sees hanging around the Guild wearing entirely different class gear. It seems that his party is not the only ones that swapped.

"If it was then why are we both here?" Megumin swivels her head to face Kazuma before readjusting it downwards to his new height. "… you didn't buy another 'cursed object' again, did you?"

"O-of course not! Don't remind me about that…"

"What about that hero relic? Do you think it caused all this?"

Kazuma strokes his chin at the idea. "It definitely sounds like it, but it only swaps the souls. Our bodies are different, you're more… grown, and I'm thin as a toothpick!"

"I wasn't that thin…" she mutters.

"Are you kidding me!? Look at these arms! If I was sent to jail, I could I just slide between the bars to escape!"

"Why you!" she picks up the short Kazuma and brings him close to her face. "I like to see you grow while you rely on eating nothing but bread crusts and Yunyun's lunch!"

"I-I didn't mean anything by it! Put me down!"

"Serves you right for all those times you treated me like a kid! Now I got the ideal body you wanted and all you're doing is complaining about my life?"

"Again! What's with this ideal woman crap you're talking about!?" Kazuma cries as the girl is shaking him by the collar. "You're still the same as always!"

"The same!? Have you noticed how everyone is looking at me right now!"

"That's because it looks like you're strangling a child!"

Megumin turns and notices the citizens all giving her strange looks and whispers to each other.

"Just look at how she's treating him."

"Is that the Trashmi? And is that poor boy her victim?"

"By the goddess, I wish that were me."

Her grip suddenly loosens letting Kazuma drop back down to his feet. H watches the dark expression washes over her face as she reaches out her hand in a familiar way he done before.

"Ah! She's going to use Steal on us! Run!"

The crowd of people disperses away leaving the two by themselves. Even though it was all directed at Megumin, Kazuma couldn't help but feel attacked himself.

She turns to look at him with a smile trying to hide her embarrassment and gives him a shaky thumbs up. "H-how's that?"

"What? Are you seriously asking for my approval of that?"

Ignoring his question, Megumin looks away and places her hand onto her chest. Kazuma looks around the now empty street, trying to think of anything to help break from the awkward silence before she speaks up.

"Do you… not like me still, even with this body?"

"Huh?" he turns with a confused look on his face but freezes when he sees her eyes tearing up.

"N-no, that's not what I meant. We both were acting different back there, but you're still the same Megumin I- " he swallows, "-I know."

The girl tries to avoid letting him see her face but Kazuma can clearly hear her sniffling before she replies, "And is that bad to you…?"

"No! Of course, it isn't! I'm happy you're still the same! I like that you're the same! The body is just a nice bonus is all- "

"Hou~" her expression changes immediately as she gazes into Kazuma's eyes. "Is it now?"

_Did you… did you just tricked me!?_

"Nevermind! You're nothing but a rotten chuunibyou brat! I see bodies like yours all over the place, it doesn't interest me at all!" he crosses his arms and looks away to avoid her invading gaze.

Megumin chuckles to herself.

"What?" Kazuma asks, now annoyed.

"You know Kazuma, members of the Crimson Magic clan are known for their glowing eyes. Which usually is triggered when they feel excited…"

Kazuma froze. He looks to his right at the nearest building with a large window and sees that his eyes are glowing red on their own. In any other situation, he would be blown away at how cool he looks but now this trait feels more like a glorified nosebleed.

"It really suits you." Megumin beams. He notices her eyes are now is just a typical shade of blue. She really looks like a regular Japanese girl.

_So, it's more than just class and personality swap… I'm a member of the Crimson Demon race! Wait, does that mean I have an embarrassing bar code on my butt too!?_

"We're going to Wiz's place!"

"Huh?"

"We need to figure out what's going on and get back to normal!" Turning his head to face the Adventurer Megumin, his eyes still glowing red. "If anyone can at least point us in the right direction, that would either be her or Vanir!"

"B-but Kazuma-wait!" Megumin chases after him as he didn't wait long enough for her to even answer.

After a few minutes of running, the two now stand before the store. Much to their relief that the place seems at least the same on the outside.

Kazuma ponders to himself now: if everyone is swapped with another then does that mean Wiz and Vanir swapped too? The thought of a timid mask demon and a scheming lich brought a humorless smile to his face. At least it's better than what Aqua and Darkness ended up as.

He opens the door to the sound of the familiar bell ring.

"Welcome!" a male, deep voice calls out from the back.

_Huh? That isn't Vanir. But it sounds so familiar… who could be-_

"Megumi! Kazuman! To what do I owe the pleasure?" A tall figure clad in black armor emerges from the back. The two gasps at the sight of the familiar knight who had once long ago threatened this town after having his own castle bombarded by explosions day after day.

"_Beldia!?"_ they both shouted.

"Y-yes?" the knight who has now placed his severed head onto the shop counter now taps both his index fingers together nervously in a manner that is like Wiz.

"I-is something wrong?"

"Everything. Everything about this is so wrong." Megumin slumps to the ground.

"I… do not understand?" the body turn its direction probably in way to convey confusion.

"Look you know what, it's been a long day, so we'll roll with it. Beldia, do you know anything about weirdly realistic dreams or whatever that's been going on?"

The Dullahan shrugs, "Not specifically… is there something wrong? You'll have to forgive me, I been busy keeping the place organized and clean the past week so I may not be up to date with the current affairs of the town. My apologies."

This is the undead knight that had mercilessly slaughtered three adventurers in one swoop and casted a death curse on the entire town. And here he is now bowing over and over apologetically like what Wiz would have done.

"Alright, whatever. Is Vanir here or whoever is pretending to be him at least?"

"He's… in the back, I'll go get him." The Dullahan quickly disappears into the back of the store. Then re-emerges to grab his head from the counter and rushes back inside.

After a moment, a familiar greeting calls out to them.

"Ah! If it isn't the comedic couple taking hungry glances at each other when the other isn't looking, how can I help?"

The two flusters before Kazuma speaks up, "Vanir, is that still you?"

"If you're referring to the body I am in possession of, then no I'm not. But whatever this character switch dream is, it is ineffective in replacing me with anyone since they would end up just becoming moi."

"I knew it! It is a dream!"

"Yes, congrats on figuring it out yourself before visiting us to inquire the said question. Now that that's settled are you two here for the contract? We can have the girl possess both of your best traits, high intelligence and high luck would certainly make a powerful mage or a capable magic-oriented adventurer."

"Kazuma, what is he talking about?" Megumin stares accusingly at the sweating boy.

"Who knows!? Just Vanir being Vanir I guess, hahaha!" He pulls the said demon aside and whispers. "Can you really do that? How does that work? Is it like Fire Emblem: Awakening or do you just choose what stats to carry over?"

"I don't know what this 'Awakening' you speak of, but I assure you it's-ah, I can taste the raw emotion of contempt being directed at us. Let's continue this some other time."

Kazuma retreats next to Megumin and avoids her scrutinizing stare.

"Are you really the Vanir we know? Are you trapped in this dream too?" Megumin asks.

"Not exactly. The false memories in my head tells me that everything is the same except everyone is switched with one another, and I was only able to know by using Divination to see that you two would visit and tell me how everything's not what it seems to be. Indeed, I may just be another figment of the dream and you two are the only ones truly aware of it."

_Wow must be heavy to suddenly realize that your entire existence is just some imagination of the brain. Yet he doesn't seem too bothered by it._

"Why should I be bothered? The real me exists and is very much alive. This whole ordeal would just be bothersome to us. So better a fake than the real one." Vanir smiles.

"Quit reading my head! Well then what do we do? Are we trapped?"

"Doubtful, you two will eventually wake up. I suggest you find whatever's causing the dream and to be rid of it immediately."

Kazuma stares at the smiling masked man with doubt. "Just like that? No 'life-threatening' problem or some evil force we have to fight?"

"I know you had a rather… difficult time on this world, but not _everything _is trying to kill you. Unless… this is the work of a rogue Succubus that is currently keeping you two trapped to drain all your life essence. Would explain why your dreams are linked together but you have that bothersome deity in your house keeping vigilant guard against our kind. Whatever it might be, you should stop it post-haste. Unless you happen to enjoy the altered reality, I know that one seems to be enjoying the benefits." He points to the former Archwizard girl who is now looking at herself in the mirror, or rather a certain part of herself.

"Can you please tell her to stop displaying such gestures near the entrance? Dream as it may be, I will not stand to have my customers scared off by her."

"R-right…" Kazuma fetches Megumin and the two said their farewells.

"Come back again!" the Dullahan, Beldia, waves them goodbye before resuming sweeping the floor.

~/~

"So, we just got to wait until we wake up?" Megumin questions. The two are now currently sitting on the grass overlooking the lake. Kazuma would rather head home and lounge around but the whole Darkness/Aqua situation is too much for them to handle.

"That's the plan," he mutters.

Megumin looks at Kazuma again. His frame really does remind her of her real body, how small and young he looks. It's probably not of the question to believe that their ages have swapped too, but she could see how people would mistake him as a kid.

"…" The thought of that now however just irritated her.

"So," Kazuma breaks the silence, "How does it feel to be me for a day?"

Megumin shrugs, "Well… if you're talking about how others think of me, it's kind of humiliating. And these memories seem so… real, like I can just recall everything that leads up to this moment…"

"Guess they switched ours… neat." Kazuma sighs and looks out onto the lake. Then he suddenly swivels his head back at her, "Wait, how much can you recall!?"

Megumin avoids his gaze but accidentally lets out a "pfft!"

"What!? What did you see!?"

"I-I'm sorry!" says Megumin as she clutches her stomach before letting out a laugh, "It's just… I don't know what a 'truck' or a 'tractor' is but even I-hahahaha-even I can tell how slow it was moving!"

"_Aahhh_!" Kazuma covers both of his ears, "Stop! I don't want to hear it!"

"I-it's just… to think your first death was that all along…"

_This little!_

"Two can play it at that game!" Kazuma announces as he clutches both sides of his temple.

Megumin smirks and crosses her arms at him, "Trying to embarrass me with my own memories? Nice try, Kazuma, but a Crimson Demon is not afraid of the past- "

"HAH!?"

"W-what!?" Megumin exclaims at the sudden cry breaking through her demeanor.

Kazuma slowly turns his head to the girl with a horrified expression. "It was _you_!? You're the reason why the Axis followers from that town were acting like bloodhounds!?"

Megumin shifts nervously to herself to avoid his glare, "N-no- "

"Don't lie to me these are your memories!"

"Well at least I didn't play with myself while I was sleeping in the stables next to Aqua! Have you no shame!?"

"Ack! W-well at least I don't take advantage of Yunyun's kindness! Pretending to don't know her after all that time you two spent together in school? How cruel can you be!?"

"Like you never took advantage of anyone! I bet there's a nasty memory somewhere of you harassing someone in your homeland!" Megumin squints despite the physical effort causes no effect on recalling memories.

_As if, I was just a person minding my own business back in Japan. Maybe I was taking advantage of my parents by not going to school and secretly hide in my room while they thought I was attending. I'm ok with that so it's not like-_

Kazuma notice Megumin's face suddenly shifts to a sad expression before letting her hands fall to the grass.

"W-what?" he gulps nervously but still irritated, "Is it that bad? It's not like I hate my parents it's just- "

"-it's because of her… Kazuma, I…"

He pauses. Her? Who could she be referring to-oh.

Her. The childhood friend he knew. His first love, and the person who promised to marry him before he saw her with another boy. Right.

"Why do you look so down," he mutters, "It doesn't really matter."

"It does… I mean, I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." Megumin withdraws her legs to her chest.

_Yeah, you shouldn't have. But then again, we were both getting out of hand delving into our dark past. And her memories…_

"I should be sorry too then." Megumin looks up at him. "I can see what you went through with your family. I shouldn't be chiding you about taking Yunyun's lunches. You really were in a terrible spot. You and your family deserved better. And all I got are just embarrassing memories and a poor excuse to live a recluse life. I'm just a pathetic NEET who overreacted over a child's promise- "

"That's not true!" Megumin snaps. "She was your first love! I never had understood the way you were before until now. If… if you had decided to be with someone else, then maybe I would do the same…"

She casts her eyes to the ground before she pulls herself closer. Kazuma watches her but doesn't make any attempt to move.

"These memories are making me feel like I been through the same, but I haven't… and I don't want to. Kazuma, if you don't mind me asking… but is the reason you were so reluctant to be with me. To love me… was it because of her? Are you afraid I would leave you?"

He says nothing but his mind stirs up a war inside. For a while he never thought the event really bothered him… or has it really and he just refused to acknowledge it? Thinking back to it, it was a major reason he became reclused. But saying it out loud to himself just sounds pathetic, especially to a girl who lived in poverty. He imagines how people would laugh or chastise him for being that broken over a first love. But Megumin didn't laugh at him. She didn't mock him for it.

Because she's in love with him. Him, her first love.

"I won't leave you," she answers tearfully, "You know me. I'm stubborn. I'm dedicated. If I set my heart out for something, then I won't stop. You're the most important person to me and I love everything about you. But I… I don't want to guilt you into loving me. It's your choice too."

Kazuma gazes out onto the lake. The sun is now setting upon the horizon, casting an orange glow across the land. It took him a moment to recognize the area. The place where they went on their first date together, which ended up as a family picnic thanks to a certain goddess.

He turns to face Megumin. She rubs the tears from her face before looking back at him expectantly. Not knowing what to say in this situation, he exhales before reaching to her.

"Kaz-nnn!" Megumin felt his lips pressing against hers. A moment of irritation flashes in her eyes at the sudden move but quickly melted away as her emotions surges by the intimate contact. Her mouth shifts openly to embrace the kiss as her arms move on their own to hold him. After getting lost in the moment, Kazuma regains his senses and breaks away. Their mouths still connected together by a string.

Wiping it off, he glances away and accidentally spoke out in a squeak tone, "Does… that answer your question?"

Megumin looks at him for a second before letting out a "pfft!"

"W-what are you laughing for!? Was it that cheesy?"

"N-no, I'm sorry! It's perfect! Just the kind of response I would expect! But hearing it out of that body just makes it-ahahahaha!" she falls back on the ground laughing harder than before.

Kazuma now feels an even stronger sense to retreat into his room now than ever. Megumin rises before wiping away a tear and smiles.

"It might sound callous, but I'm glad you two never got together. Because you wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't have met my first love."

_Yeah but if I wouldn't be here, then I wouldn't have to sleep in the stables, get dragged into a pile of debts, die in more ways than I even knew was possible!_

Still, the thought of it doesn't seem so bad to him now. In fact, he feels as if something was lifted off his chest. Maybe bringing it into the light with her, just made it bearable to him.

So bearable in fact, he could feel another feeling lifting off. Like his feet.

Wait-

Kazuma suddenly found himself pressed against the ground; his frail arms pinned to the side. He looks up at the former explosion mage giving him a suggestive smile.

"Megumin, what are you doing?" he struggles for a bit, but her newfound body strength overpowers his easily.

"I just…" she starts breathing heavily, "that kiss just got me a bit excited. And that body of yours is so cute…"

_You really are a shotacon!_

"Idiot! We're close to the road and out in the open! It may be evening but there could still be people passing by!"

Megumin giggles and leans a bit closer.

"I don't mind. You heard what they said about me. In this reality, I'm the ill-rumored heroine who teases her little Archwizard- "

"Pretty sure they said, 'sexually harass'."

"-as I was saying: my reputation here doesn't mean anything to me, but I don't mind playing along... hah, your eyes are glowing again~"

He could tell from the heat alone from his cheeks just how red his face must look to her. The sight of it seems to encourage her as she boldly presses her breasts against him and gives him a wet kiss on the head. This new body of hers is so erotic, but the way she's using it is dangerous!

"Fufu, I forgave Darkness for what she did to you, but I still can't help but feel jealous. Did she do this to you before I barged in? How far was she going?"

"H-hey! Could you just give me a moment before you-ahh!" he cuts off after feeling soft valleys sliding across his chest. Megumin recoils a bit as if the electric jolt surged through him to her body.

"Everything's so sensitive… this is it, Kazuma, even if this is a dream it all feels so real… this body is made for you so let's just indulge ourselves. Just for tonight, please?"

Kazuma gulps and gives her a meek nod. This feeling of being overpowered by a female adventurer wasn't what he thought it to be. It's humiliating but somehow even more exhilarating. And with his small stature compared to hers she's like a life-size body pillow he keeps in his closet back in Japan, only softer, warmer, and well... real.

So this is what it feels like having a matured woman take control. He never entertained such a thought, especially being dominated by Megumin of all people. He understands now why it was such a common choice for the adventurers of Axel in that-

Hold on. Dreams? An out of place sexual encounter? Females overpowering younger versions of adventurers?

"-Megumin."

"Yes, Kazumaa?"

"Did you… did you went to that Succubus' place and created this dream between us?"

The dominant female adventurer froze. Her face switches from her sexy confident demeanor to a petrified stare like she saw a ghost.

"… nooo…"

"Are you telling me that if we wake up, you and I won't feel a bit drained and you won't happen to be around 1000 eris coins short?"

Before she could answer, a brief light appears causing Kazuma to blink rapidly away at the brightness before opening them again to the now petite Megumin dressed in her pajamas still pinning him down on his bed. The light from the window and the sound of birds chirping informs him that it is now morning. Somehow, they wasted an entire succubus dream.

He looks back up at Megumin with a passive expression on his face. She said nothing as she shifts her eyes away from contact with her hands still gripping down his arms despite him being capable now to easily break free.

"Well, go on. I'm not stopping you." Kazuma said.

"A-a-a-a-!" She finally lets go much to his disappointment and retreated to the furthest edge of his bed. She buries her beet red face into the blankets and began shouting, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

Kazuma waited for her to calm down before she could explain. Apparently, Megumin didn't like how he would visit the Succubus' place even after they started spending their nights together. So out of jealousy, which she claims not to be the case at all, she threatened to blow the place up. But one of the succubi convinced her not to by telling her about their ability to link dreams and how they set up the fake reality to whatever fantasy she wants. And so, she decided to take up on the offer and got their demon-loathing goddess liquored up so she won't be able to chase them away.

"That's… you could've told me about it first!" Kazuma protested.

"But then you would expect it! And it felt easier for me to go through it because I was in control."

"That's not okay!"

"Says the one who bought a 'love curse' statue that nearly got us killed!"

"Agh, alright you know what let's just call it even then!"

"I wasn't going for even!" Megumin presses her face into the blanket again, "I just… wanted you to see me as a woman…"

His expression softens at the poor girl. He gently takes Megumin's head and moves it towards him. He peers into her crimson eyes, almost noticing a faint glow bringing a smile to his face.

"If you ask me, I prefer your eyes here better than that dream. No, not just that, everything about you as well. Just like how you love every part about me too."

He pulls Megumin in for a hug. Her body stiffens for a bit before relaxing into his arms by returning hers.

"Thanks… for all those things you said," Kazuma whispers, "I like this better. The way you fit into my arms; it's really comforting."

"D-don't get used it!" her voice cracks, "I'm still growing! You'll see, I'll have a body that'll knock that dream version out of the water!"

Kazuma chuckles but she could tell it wasn't mean-spirited. She takes in the moment, feeling the warm embrace she's conditioned to after all those rides he gives her after Explosion practice.

_But I guess_, Megumin thinks to herself, _I couldn't be happier right now to hear him say that…_

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**I like to thank everyone for their support and for enjoying the story. Writing this has been really helping me to relax and get my mind off things and reading your responses fills me with joy. Hope you all are as excited as I am for the upcoming movie and to see the two finally starting their romantic subplot together. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it!**


	6. How to care for your goddess

**How to care for your goddess**

Megumin open her eyes to a dark bedroom. Her eyelids droop heavily, still fatigue by the need of sleep. Yet for some reason her body made her wake up at some odd hour of the night. She slightly shifts in her bed then heard a sound behind her. She feels something pressing against her body and looks down to see an arm wrapped around her stomach.

She turns her head to meet Kazuma sleeping soundly next to her. Her fog state mind had her forgot where she really was for a moment.

She smiles at her beloved. Watching him peacefully sleep away in this same bed with her. Feeling his arm holding onto her. She couldn't think of a time when she was this relaxed and comforted.

So enraptured by this endearing moment, laying embracing each other like lovers. Her mouth voiced her emotions out softly to him, "I love you."

Kazuma's facial expression stirs before her. A faint sound escapes his lips, but it was too quiet for her to hear.

"Oh, is he having a dream?" she whispers before turning back over to her side to let him rest, "Fufu, that's so cute."

"Hey… Luna…"

"Eh?" she instantly twists back to stare at her beloved murmuring the name of the bust receptionist lady from the guild.

_Hey! What kind of dream are you having right now? Thinking about some other woman while you're lying in bed with me?_

Kazuma stirs again before muttering out, "…mmm… quest… complete…"

_Oh_. Megumin silently withdrew her contempt. He seems to be dreaming about guild quests. Even in his own sleep he can't seem to catch a break.

She felt silly for getting so worked up but also feel a shame about it. It's not like he can help dream about other women. That sounds like something only a possessive girlfriend would get upset by. It's only natural Kazuma would have these types of dreams, knowing full well the kind of man he is. She accepts that part of him.

"-nnn… hey Wiz…"

Still doesn't make it any less infuriating to her.

But what would she do? Wake him up and shout at him for dreaming about other girls? Kazuma likes it when she gets jealous but even he would get disturbed by that. Not that she was thinking of doing that. Nope, not at all.

"-ah, Yunyun…"

"_Excuse me?_" Megumin covers her mouth after letting her voice out by accident. Kazuma's face twists for a bit but his eyes still didn't open.

_Dreaming about my rival now!? I'm also starting to sense a pattern of what kind of girls are appearing in that head of yours!_

_No, I shouldn't be riled up by this. He's free to dream about whatever he wants. If we're to get married, then this is what I must get used to. That's right, this is a test! Another trial through this obstacle of love! I won't give up that easily, Kazu-_

"Ohh, Darkness… are you… doing…?"

"…" Megumin squeezes both her fists. The first murmur sounded like a normal dream, and the other two were too vague to interpret. But this last one revolving around their fellow Crusader with such an open-ended remark… No, it could be anything! And like she says, she doesn't care if it is the case. Besides that one time when she literally did invade his dreams, she won't try to control the way he sleep. That was just a one time-

"-nn, Darkness… stop…"

_Stop!? Stop what? What's going on!? Damn it why can't I go back to sleep already!? _She flips the covers over her head hoping to suppress anymore of his dream talk. Whatever he says now, she's going to ignore it and let him sleep through his questionable fantasy.

_Just think happy thoughts. Explosions. Big column of flames. Huge ice cream scooped like craters. Bigger breasts. Devastating sonic booms. Intense thought-provoking monologue. Kazuma. Two Explosions. Infinite mana._

"Megumin…"

"!" Her eyes shot open upon hearing her name. She turns over to Kazuma who is still fast asleep.

_He said my name… am I in his dream now? _

"-so soft…" his arm still holding onto her suddenly pulls her closer to him.

"E-eh? Soft?" she squeaks. Her face draws closer to his just inches apart from each other. Their bodies press together, sending waves of excitement through her skin.

"… really cute…"

_Cute? Does he really think so? I guess I can be a little clingy… to hear him call me cute in his sleep. Now I just want to hear him say more!_

"… so useless…"

… _what._

"good for… nothing…"

Megumin slowly sits up and glares down at the bastard. Useless? Good for nothing!? Is that really something to say to someone who loves you!? Here she is worry about him dreaming of other girls when it's _him _who should be worry whether he'll live to see the sun again!

She carefully pulls her own pillow and stretches it like she's cocking a loaded gun and positions it over his face.

"What else do you have to say to me in there instead of my face," she says to the hapless man.

"piss off…"

_Was that on purpose!? Why you little-_

"-idiot goddess…"

She stops. _Oh… he meant Aqua… That's a relief…_

"-quit your… -arty tricks… hey! What are you… Get away from me!" Kazuma suddenly twists around in his bed and flails his arms about.

_Did it just change into a nightmare?_

"Let go of me-_hrmf!?"_ Kazuma bolt up to be briefly met with a pillow to his face knocking him back down. He shakes his head and opens his eyes to the young girl who is currently frozen in position of a mid-strangling attempt.

They both look at each other for a moment. Kazuma with an inquisitive stare, and Megumin with a petrified look of being caught in attempted murder. He rubs one of his eyes to check if she's still there then says.

"Megu? What are you doing?"

She pulls the pillow to herself trying to think of a way to explain herself out of this. Telling him about how she was listening to his sleep talk is out of the question but the thought of it embarrasses her so much she answered too sudden with, "Nothing…"

"Really? Cause to me it looks like you were about to strangle me in my sleep."

"T-that's right!" she replies, "b-because this is a dream!"

She slaps herself mentally. What kind of stupid answer is that? Her mind is too tired from the lack of sleep and her worked up emotions kept her thinking about his dream.

He blankly stares at her. "A dream?" he mutters unconvincingly.

She squeezes the pillow to her stomach under his eyes and nods.

Kazuma's stare slowly changes into a smirk when an idea came to his head.

"Is that so? I'm having a dream with you, huh? You're not the real Megumin messing around in my head again, right?"

She has a bad feeling about this. Still not wanting to explain what happened she decides to keep the act going, "N-no?"

Kazuma moves closer to the now shaking girl. "If I'm aware of it, then it must be one of those lucid dreams. Which means… I get to do whatever I want."

"A-a-ah…" She nervously falls back onto the bed holding her pillow over her mouth. Kazuma holds himself up over her body and looks down at her.

"A Megumin that will do whatever I say… Hope I don't wake up soon, I want to enjoy this as long as I can."

She blushes and squeezes the pillow harder to herself. But her gaze locks onto his eyes. Kazuma was expecting a response by now but all she's doing is laying there. Like she's… waiting for him?

He begins to feel uneasy now. Isn't this a little too forward? He just wants a reaction out of her but she's being so meek and submissive. Silence hangs in the air as the two looks at each other, both not moving a muscle.

_S-say something will you? _He silently begs to her. Should he continue? He is the one instigating this. Or should he call it quits? But it would seem rather cowardly to go back now.

"Kazuma?" his name came out muffled under the pillow. Is she questioning his action or his reluctance?

He clears his throat, "I-if this is a dream then it's fine, right? No one is going to stop me right now. Like, right _now_. At this very moment."

She gives a shy nod.

"I-I mean it!" he cracks, "I'll do some… things to you."

"Like what?" she replies, still looking at him expectantly.

_What do you mean 'like what'!? Are you trying to call on my bluff? You think you can wrest victory from my hands? You have every chance to stop me so I'm not forcing myself onto you._

Kazuma pulls her pillow down to reveal her lips before leaning in. Megumin lets out a short gasp but doesn't attempt to resist him.

She really is letting him continue. All it takes is a single 'no' and he'll quit. Hell, he's even open to any physical retaliation if need be. What is he going to do if she doesn't stop him? No, it's fine. He's just going for a kiss. They done it before. He was the one who made the first move on her. He can do it again no problem. Just a bit closer and it'll be done.

His face got hit by a small wave of her warm breath. Her breathing became unsteady as he draws near. A little light flash in her crimson eyes before she closes them then purses her lips together for him. Kazuma's heart pulses at the sight of her delicate face anticipating for his kiss.

_Damn it!_

His course changes direction and plants a kiss onto her cheek instead before pulling away. Megumin opens one eye while still holding her lips together and looks quizzically at him.

"D-don't look at me at like that…" Great job. Fantastic. Truly you are the man among men. He had no problem taking charge in quests. Diving into a poisonous slime. Drop kicking a priestess in public. And confessing his feelings to the said girl he couldn't bring himself to kiss even after they shared theirs before.

_I'm such a coward…?_

He felt her soft hands taking him by the face. Megumin smiles at him with a sense of longing in her eyes.

"It's okay, Kazuma," she gently brushes her fingers against his hair, "You're not doing this by yourself, you know. Let me help you, and I want this as much as you do."

His heart leaps. "You do know what you're implying here, right?"

"I know." Her hands move down to this neck. The contact sends shivers down his spine, but the gentle touch feels inviting.

It's finally happening, isn't it? After all those times he teases and entice her, they're finally about to cross the line. And all it took was waking up to a middle of an attempted murder. Just what was that about anyway-ah! No, focus!

But how to approach this? He may be a virgin but his knowledge about it surpasses hers and his is the older one here. Yet he still feels hesitant to take lead. He thought all the excitement and hormonal emotions would carry him through but this feeling… is way more intimate than he expected. Is this what they meant in saying there's a difference between sex and sex with someone you love?

Or is it just because he's a virgin?

He gives up. "What would you… like me to do?" he asks, feeling the heat of embarrassment in his cheeks.

"Um…" Megumin reaches to her shirt by the shoulder and pulls it down exposing her collarbone. She begins to fluster herself then says, "It's a good place to start, right?"

"I'm impressed… Here I thought you were clueless about this."

"Shut up! And are you seriously salivating? I'm not a snack!"

"I beg to differ," Kazuma's confidence suddenly increased seeing her getting flustered. He draws in and presses his lips against her soft skin. Megumin lets out a squeal and clutches him closer. Her cute sounds and the way she reacts is making him want to keep on going.

"Ah… Kazuma, don't… sto- "

_Chink!_

He stops. The two open their eyes to the loud sound and turn their heads at the window of the bedroom. Another object suddenly hits the window again creating the same noise.

"…" they look back at each other and nod in silent agreement to ignore it. Megumin pulls his head back to her to continue.

_Chink!_

_Just ignore it. _He tells himself.

_Chink!_

"Just ignore it…" Megumin pleaded.

_Chi-CRACK!_

A larger rock hits against the window glass turning it into a web of shards. Kazuma pulls away from Megumin and lets out a frustrated yell before charging at his window.

He carefully lifts it up in case the glass comes showering down on him and sticks his head outside.

"WHAT-_ACK!" _Another rock came flying and struck him in the face.

"Oh, hey Kazuma!" Aqua waves at him from the ground below as he rubs his stinging forehead.

_You got to be kidding._

"What the hell are you doing out here!? Do you know what time it is!?"

"Of course, I do! It's tomorrow!" she flaunts her arms over her head in a celebratory cheer and falters in her steps from losing balance. "I need your help, Kazuma… someone put some type of seal on the front door and it won't open!"

"What? There's a magical seal on the entrance?"

"Yeah! Except it's more mechanical than magical and there was supposed to be this thing I have that unlocks it…"

He stares at her incredulously. "… you mean a lock? You're telling me you lost your keys and you're locked out of the house!? … Are you drunk? Where the hell were you!?"

"This was this BIG party in Axel! And I got invited to show off my amazing party tricks!" Aqua flaunts her arms to the side to demonstrate but instead of the usual waterspout trick, a jet of water just flows unceremoniously out of her palms.

"What did they pay you with? An open bar?"

"Actually, I had to pay to get in."

"THEN YOU WEREN'T INVITED!"

"Whatever! Can you just not close the door for me?"

Un. Believable. He was this close. _This _close to cross the boundaries of manhood only be to stopped yet again by another intervention from _another_ goddess!

"Piss off! It's your damn fault for losing your keys while you were out partying and drinking away! Come back later!"

"Whaaat!?" Aqua shouted, "Are you seriously kicking me out!? You can't do that to meee!" She burst into tears and starts crying her lungs out much to his annoyance.

Kazuma ducks back in and shuts the window closed. But the glass shatters away letting the sounds of her wailing go through.

"Damn it… well, let's go use the spare bedroom and-what?" Kazuma turns back to Megumin giving him a stern.

"You're not seriously just leaving her out there?" she asks.

"You were just on board a minute ago on ignoring her!"

"I didn't know it was her! I'm not happy about it as you are but she's wasted! What if she freezes out there, or get a cold, or get attacked by something?"

"Fine, I'll go wake up Darkness then. She'll deal with it." Kazuma head towards the door before he gets pulled back by his arm.

"We can't just dump Aqua on her in the middle of night!" She holds onto him with both hands and give it a gentle squeeze. "Just let her in, it'll be quick. I promise we'll continue where we left off…"

"Heh," Kazuma looks away to hide, "If you insist, only because you clearly wanted it that baOWOWOW!"

Megumin crushes his hand between hers while giving him a glare. "I do, just as much as you for your information."

"S-sorry…"

~/~

The two steps out into the dark night and head out to where Aqua was previously last seen. When they turn the corner of the house where his bedroom window should be, they found the Goddess of Water currently lying on the ground.

"Aqua!?" They both ran to her.

"Huhhh?" Aqua turns her head at the two then waves at them, "My heroes… you really did come for me! _Sniffs._"

"What happened here? Did you flood the ground with your tears?" Megumin exclaims.

Kazuma was about to kneel next to her before he realized the ground is softened into fresh mud. It hasn't rained in the past weeks and Aqua is now totally caked in dirt. This is beginning to show the familiar signs of a bad night…

"I got bored waiting, so I tried practicing my party tricks." She shoots another spout of water in the air and beams to them like a child. A child caught playing with paint in the garage.

He facepalms and lets out a tired groan, "Idiot… Alright, the door's unlocked so get inside."

Aqua nods then try to jump to her feet. But her legs trembled, and she fought to keep her balance before her feet slips on the muddy ground. She lands face first into the dirt and lays there for a second before muffling out another cry.

Kazuma turns to Megumin and says, "Alright, let's head on in then- "

"Kazuma!" she shouts.

"Oh, come on! She already managed to get here on her own!

"I didn't get here my own," Aqua interjected and apparently done crying. She lifts her face up revealing a muddy face mask, "I ran into Wiz and she guided me home! She was so helpful I decided not to smite her to show my gratitude!"

The two stares at her in silence with contempt expressions. They weren't the only people that got inconvenienced by this damn goddess. Megumin lets out a yawn then says, "I guess you won't be able to wash that dirt off by yourself. Fine, let's get you in the bath."

"Whoa, hold on! I thought you said this was going to be quick. Why do we have to babysit this brat?" Kazuma complains as he jabs his finger into the goddess' cheek.

"It can't be helped. You got any other bright ideas?"

"I do, in fact. Observe." Kazuma rubs his hands then squeezes them together like he's about to perform a magic trick. He poses with one hand over his face and aims his other at Aqua.

"Create Water."

"_AHHH-PBLPBLPBL!" _Her face gets hit by a torrent of cold water. He's beginning to feel better about this night already.

Megumin slaps his arm away. "Quit it! She's going to catch a cold because of you! Just help me carry her in and I'll start the bath."

"Heh!?" Aqua gazes up, "Megumin, you're not seriously letting him wash me too! I don't want his lecherous hands upon my- "

"Who the hell are you trying to kid here!? Don't flatter yourself, that shitty personality of yours outweighs any of your qualities!"

Aqua puffs her cheeks and lets out a sobbing whine. "What's with that rejection!? You're more excited at seeing Megumin's body than mine? I knew you got a thing for lolis, you rude ass lolico-_AHHPBLBLBLB_!"

Megumin sprays Aqua herself with Kazuma's water spell somehow by squeezing his arm. He stares at it as she lets go and reaches down to pick Aqua up by her right side.

"Let's hurry up and toss this one in the bath," she said irritably.

"Oi, Megu you shouldn't make her stand up so qui- "

Kazuma's warning got interrupted by an immediate sound of retching. His muscles went rigid from the feeling of something warm hitting his bare legs. And the horrific smell of alcohol…

"Uhh," Megumin looks below his waist at the mess while also trying to avoid his seething glare. "I guess we're all bathing together now," she said with a strained smile.

Yeah, this is officially a bad night.

~/~

"Quit moving, Aqua!" Megumin pulls the goddess' head back for her to reach through her scalp to apply shampoo.

"It's going to get in my eyes! It burns!"

"Just keep them closed then!"

Kazuma sinks into the hot bath and watches the two struggles with each other on the floor. They're all in their own swimwear to make the setting feel comfortable between them but Megumin can feel the familiar perverting gaze upon her body. Which would not be so bad for her if she wasn't trying to wash their hopeless drunk party member.

Megumin covers Aqua's ears to speak to Kazuma saying, "I hope you're enjoying yourself over there."

"It's not my fault, there's just something alluring about that Crimson Demon birthmark…" He lowers his head further into water after receiving a glare but kept his eyes locked onto his target.

Megumin blushes and tries to angle her body away from him. But she realizes by swaying her hips it was causing the complete opposite effect. Bubbles started stirring near his face.

She rinses Aqua's hair with a pale before lobbing it at directly at Kazuma. He ducks inside letting the pale bounce into the water then reemerges with a smug look.

"Look at us!" Aqua flops away from Megumin onto the bath floor, "Bathing together like a family."

_Weren't you originally against this?_ _Ugh,_ the thought of Kazuma and Megumin pushing a baby stroller carrying Aqua is going to haunt him for days now. He much prefers the time when they babysat Darkness' little sister and played House. He sighs reminiscing the memory.

"What kind of thoughts is Kazuma having in that twisted head of his?" Megumin inquires as she sits by the edge of the bath.

"… I was just thinking you would make a great mother," he answers nonchalantly.

"Eh!?" Megumin turns her head to Aqua hoping she didn't hear it. Thankfully the goddess seems to be distracted by drawing on the puddles around her. The realization struck her.

"Yeah… she is like a kid, isn't she? Really puts a different perspective on having one…" She silently watches Aqua for a bit then turns her head to Kazuma. "It's been a while since we bathed together. If I recall, you were only down for it because you didn't see me as woman."

"And if I recall, you were completely against it then wouldn't stop bragging to people you did," Kazuma retorts.

"I wasn't bragging." she lied.

"Sure, you weren't. And I also recalled a particular line you said to me, when I made a hypothetical that you would fall for me and you claim that it would never happen."

"Huh?" she looks back at him with wide eyes, "Did I really say that?"

"Funny how things changed, you use to see me as some sort of perverted scummy NEET. And you ended up falling for me anyways."

Megumin scowls at him. "You're still all those things," she splashes the water at him, "At least you're not the same person who keeps treating me like a child. You were too eager back there before Aqua interrupted us."

"H-hey!" Kazuma shushes her, "Don't say that out loud! You're making me feel like I'm committing a crime or- "

Big mistake. Megumin grabs him by his shoulders, "What was that!? So, you are still treating me like a kid! Fine! Let's tell Aqua here what you were just doing with this 'kid'! HEY AQUA!"

"NO!" Kazuma grabs her arms and pulls her into the bath with him just as Aqua turns her head.

"Ooh! My turn!" She stands up to do a running start and jump into the bath with them, but she slips after taking one step on a puddle and slams her face into the floor.

"Aqua!?" Kazuma and Megumin both shout out to her and climbs out of the bath.

"_Wahhhh!" _Aqua cries out as Megumin tucks her head onto her lap to comfort her while Kazuma grabs the first aid kit to patch up her nose. The two briefly makes eye contact with each other during the ordeal and simultaneously cringe.

_We really are being like parents…_

~/~

Kazuma gently lays the quivering goddess carefully onto her bed. She lets out a painful moan clutching at her bandaged nose.

"Is there anything you need?" Kazuma asks.

"I'm thirsty…"

"… you're a goddess of water, just make your own drink in this." He pulls out one of her empty wine bottles and places it on her nightstand.

"No! I want something hot!"

"For the love of- "

"-I'll make the tea," Megumin interjected. "Can you stay by her side just in case she… she-" she lets out long tired yawn and droops her head a bit.

"Do you want me to go instead? You look really tired."

"No, I'm fine… Just watch her and I'll be back in a bit," she says before exiting the room.

Kazuma pulls up a chair and sits by the groaning goddess. "You feel alright there?" he asks.

"Nooo…" Aqua replies.

He sighs, "That's what you get for drinking so irresponsibly. Honestly, can't let you go out on your own without it somehow dragging me into cleaning up your mess."

"I'm sorry…"

"You better be! You just had to choose tonight of all nights to- " He cuts himself off and looks back down at Aqua. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"Sorry… for ruining your night." she mumbles. She sounded almost in pain, like she was really being remorseful. As if she's capable of saying such things genuinely, especially to Kazuma of all people.

But she doesn't look happy or even annoyed. The girl that gave him the most trouble out of the group, the one that dragged him to hell and back, and the one who is responsible for his past deaths, is just lying there actually apologizing to him for smallest problem she made in comparison.

"Kazuma?"

"What's up?"

Aqua turns her head to him. "You mind if I ask a personal question?"

That came out of nowhere. She's clearly still intoxicated, yet she looks serious about something.

"Shoot," he says, crossing his arms for whatever ridiculous question she has for him.

"Why did you two keep it from us?"

"… huh?"

"Your relationship," she presses, "You and Megumin."

He silently sat there and blankly stares at the goddess as an eruption of thoughts floods his brain.

_What!? Where did that come from!? Is she really drunk? Was this a whole act to pry this personal information from us!? NO, there's no way she's capable of coming up with something so complex and stupid! Why is that even any of your business!?_

He felt like either yelling these questions at her or just bluntly shutting it down. But… it is true that they were hiding it from them, it's not like they had a bad reason for it. "What brought this out?" Kazuma says instead with a calm tone.

"At first it didn't make sense to me why anyone would be attracted to you…"

_Why you little-_

"But she seems even happier than ever, and even you started changing slowly. Good changes. I hadn't realized for a while until it came to light. It seems obvious now that something happened between you two, long before the reveal."

His mouth hangs open at the revelation. She sometimes does have those uncharacteristic perceptive moments but to think Aqua of all people would be able to connect those two together.

"We didn't…" Kazuma dryly swallows, "We didn't want to hide it from you guys, but we were afraid of changing things between us. Afraid of ruining everything we built between us…"

"But it's because of that you two never really got together, right?" guessed Aqua, "You two are stuck in some sort of weird stage before lovers or something?"

"Y-yeah… it wasn't just to hide it from you and Darkness, you know. We weren't… I wasn't sure how I felt at the time."

"Do you love her?" Aqua asks.

He had almost forgotten who he was talking to in the first place. At some point he's expecting her to laugh and call him a loli-zuma. Or something more degrading.

But she kept looking at him earnestly. Her question came out gently, not accusing or layered with disgust. Almost like she really cares. Is this the effect of her getting buzzed? Maybe he should let her drink more often…

But back to the question, Kazuma slowly nods then said, "When I think about my future here in this world… the idea of Megumin being with me puts me at ease. Like…" He stops himself. He already went through one confession, so why the hell does he have to relay it someone like her!?

Aqua however smiles like she got the answer she needed. But it quickly fades. "I never would have guessed that you two did it to protect our group, especially from you. But it makes me sad that you two were holding it back for our sake. Not even a date."

_That you know of, since it was you who got in the way of that._

"But it's out now. Nothing changed in our group. Darkness seems sad but she's still with us too. I can't stay of course, Heaven needs me, but I don't mind sticking around till then."

Kazuma chuckles, "You trying to say you approve of us? After all those times you called me a lolicon or pedoNEET?"

"You're still all those things. It's Megumin's little sister I'm worried about."

"The only person here who should be worried for is you, you dumb alcoholic goddess."

The two gave each other angry stares before a smile crept up on Aqua's face. She lets out a gentle laugh, catching Kazuma off guard for a moment before returning a smile to her.

"Kazuma, do you mind getting closer?" she asks.

"Uh," he scoots his chair forward a bit, "How close?"

"Right up here," she answers. She gestures to the spot next to her bed for him to lean to. He wasn't sure if he should, this is probably a set up for a God Blow for making fun of her earlier. But he figures, hey why not, they seem to finally be on the same level for once. No back and forth bickering, no scathing remarks. Just them two being friends.

He does as he is told and hides his hand carefully underneath the side to hit her with a surprise Drain Touch if this turns out to be a trick. Aqua holds out her hand and points at him.

"By the power that is granted to me as a Goddess, I hereby grant you hero from another world with good fortune for the future of you and the Crimson Mage. May you two walk with my blessing and forever shine in the darkness."

She taps her finger onto his nose, "Boop."

"What the hell was that?" He recoils back and clutches at his nose. Did she just _marry _them?

Aqua giggles, "Just a sign of approval. I really do hope you two stick together. Don't tell Darkness what I did, okay?"

Kazuma rubs his nose questioning whether the sensation is actually magical or just a confused nerve. He smiles at her though, knowing what she meant. He never really thought of needing an approval from her, but she is their friend. Regardless of all the problems she caused him, it feels comforting knowing she's happy for him.

"Just so you know," Aqua says before letting out a yawn then turns over in her bed, "If you don't make her happy, then a torrent of rain will fall upon you and carry you out into the sea so that you may never return to land again…"

"… that was a joke, right? You really can't do something like that… right? Aqua?"

"Zzz…" the goddess' head settles motionlessly onto her pillow and lets out a soft snore.

Despite the rather ominous warning, Kazuma gently pulls the covers over her and quietly exits the room. He wondered what was taking Megumin so long to come back until he hears the whistling sound of a teapot. He heads over to the kitchen and finds Megumin resting her head on a counter near the stove. Somehow sleeping through the piercing sound next to her.

"You must have been pretty exhausted. So much for 'continuing'," he removes the kettle from the stove and cuts the heat. Megumin shifts slightly as the whistling dies down.

"your chorus… of death… no match… for me…" she mumbles faintly with her eyes still closed.

"Ha, having a grand battle in there?" Kazuma takes a moment to plan about moving her without disturbing her sleep. He manages to scoop her up in his arms as gently as he can and starts making his way to his bedroom.

"Kazuma…"

He looks down expecting Megumin to look back at him, but her eyes aren't open. A smile forms on her face and she snuggles her head against his arm.

_Out of everyone in our party, you're always the one who needs the most protection. And that role is always dropped onto me. I always thought you were a pain despite that powerful spell of yours._

He smiles and heads up the stairs to his room. _But I can't imagine my life without that now. I guess I really am stuck with you… the thought of that doesn't seem so bad anymore._

Kazuma carefully opens the door to his room and lowers Megumin onto his bed. He gazes out of the-oh, right the window's broken now and is letting the cold air in. Guess they'll have to relocate now.

"Kazuma."

He feels her hand pulling him back by his arm closer to her. Megumin sits up on the bed by her knees and looks at him lovingly.

"Hey, you should be asleep now the sun is probably an- "

"-shhh," she presses her finger to his mouth, "I still haven't forgotten. A Crimson Demon never goes back on their word…"

_Oh God why can't you say something else?_

She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in closer. Their lips met and held together for a moment as Megumin explores into Kazuma's agape mouth. She pulls back for a moment to catch her breath and licks her lips.

"W-w-what's gone into you?" he chokes out.

"It's your fault… teasing me earlier, staring at my body during the bath, and carrying me to bed… Do you want me to stop?"

"No, please don't."

"Fufu, then why don't we- "

_Thud!_

"…" Both their faces immediately went blank as they hear a loud sound coming from the closet. Kazuma turns his head to face the door and stares.

"… Darkness? Are you in there?"

"… no," she answers.

"Have you been hiding there this whole time?" Megumin asks.

"… yes…"

"And let me guess, you hid there previously just before we headed to bed and when you thought nothing was going on you were about to leave but got stuck by a falling of objects in an awkward position and now you can't get out and need our help. Anything else that I left out?" Kazuma asks.

"… sorry."

Leave it to Eris to send her faithful paladin to finish where Aqua failed.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Leave it to _me_ to not let them finish.**

**I regret to share the news now that the story will come to an end in a next two-parter. Writing this story is a lot of fun and feels great to capture Kazumin moments but the restrictive theme I made and writing a progressive relationship through loosely connected story segments without an overarching plot is starting to take its toll.**

**The story is comedy first and romance second, so I'm afraid the final parts will not have such a satisfying ending especially compared to better Kazumin works on this site and the real deal (god can't wait for that translation) but I hope it's enough for you to enjoy these dumb moments. Thanks for reading!**


	7. God's Blessing on this Explosive Night 1

**God's Blessing on this Explosive Night!**

**Part 1**

"Kazuma!? Kazuma!"

"Nn?" He opens his eyes at the call of this name to a familiar area. His back rests upon the chair he sat down on occasionally and looks up to the person in front of him sitting across with a disturbed look on her divine face.

"Yo Eris, got a minute?"

"_EH!?" _the Goddess of Luck exclaims in shock, "That's the first thing you say to me after what you just did? You didn't… Did you _kill _yourself just so you can talk to me?"

"Pretty much," he responds as he scratches his cheek nonchalantly, "It's not like you got a number I can just call, you know."

Eris sighs, "I'm already stretching the rules for you. If they found out about this…"

"Sorry, this will be the only time, I swear. Not that I can say the same about getting killed…"

The Goddess manages a weak smile and says, "Well, I'm not entirely opposed to a visit. Even if it because you want something from me."

"Already figured me out, huh? Sorry, but I really need to ask you of this." Kazuma stands up from his chair and clasps his hands together. Eris jumps at the sudden gesture before she watches Kazuma fall to the floor in a praying position that is more fitting to Aqua's liking.

"Just for this one night, can you please stop the curse from ruining everything?" he begs.

"W-what are you doing? Please get up! You're embarrassing me!"

Kazuma turns his head up at her while keeping himself in the same position with a strange look, "Wait, isn't this something you Goddesses need and see every day?"

"Y-yes, but I don't deal with praises that well. Especially when they're right in front of me…" she answers while looking away.

_Just how is Aqua your superior? Seniority in a workplace is the worst!_

"You mention something about tonight?" Eris asks.

Kazuma rises to his knees and remembers what he came here for. "Yeah, I know I might've… accused you of interfering with me and Megumin. And I'm sorry for that! But lately our nights together have been… stupid."

"If I recall, weren't most of those both of your faults?"

Kazuma narrows his eyes at her suspiciously. "Oh, so you have been watching us?"

"Ah!" she gasps, "N-no! I mean, yes, I know about those nights, but I wasn't interfering! Honest!"

"Then you were spying on us? I thought it was strange how someone like Darkness is a paladin of your order but now I'm starting to see the connection."

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! I SWEAR!" the Goddess blushes madly and covers her face from him. Kazuma chuckles. "Sorry, I didn't mean to tease. I feel bad for asking but it's really important to her that nothing goes wrong on this date."

Eris peeks through her hands at him before letting them fall to her lap. "A date? You killed yourself to get the audience of a goddess and accuse her of interfering because you have a date tonight?"

"Y-yeah?" Despite being dead and placed in some strange room between realms, Kazuma felt as if the area got colder. Eris takes in a deep breath then rests her head on her hands. "If you don't mind, I would like to know a little more since I wasn't 'spying' this morning," she said with a small smile.

Relieved that she wasn't going to chew him out, Kazuma leans back against his chair. He takes a moment before he begins, "So, it's like this…"

~/Earlier/~

"Oi Megu," Kazuma knocks on her bedroom door, "Do you… want me to accompany you on your daily Explosion today? Megumin?"

He waits for a reply, but no answer came through.

"Hey, it's been a week since you started going without me. Don't you need someone to rate your performance? You're not secretly training to impress me, are you?"

Again, no answer.

Kazuma feels a pit in his stomach. Normally Megumin would always come to get him to go on their daily trip. He didn't mind it for the first two days, but as time went on, he begins to realize she seem to be rather distant to him. They only seen each other now during mealtimes and only made small talk.

He knocks on her door again, "Hey… is everything alright? If something's bothering, you… I wouldn't mind lending an ear. Megumin?"

"Aww, you look like a sad puppy scratching at his master's door." Kazuma stiffens by the sound of Aqua's voice and turns his head to the goddess peeking around the corner of the hallway with a sly grin on her face.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, I was just heading to the bathroom till I heard you cry."

"I wasn't crying! I'm just- " he pauses before glancing at the door then back at Aqua and spoke with a hush voice, "I'm just checking in on her."

"That's nice and all, but she already left."

"Oh…" Kazuma's face reddens with embarrassment before he turns it away from her.

"It is strange how she's not going with you anymore." She walks over and looks at the door to her room. Aqua then turns her head and glares at him accusingly, "What did you do this time, you stupid loliNEET?"

"Nothing! At least… I don't think," Kazuma scratches his head.

Aqua chuckles, "I don't think he says, it's almost like you forgot how scummy you can be."

"Lay off! I know I didn't do anything wrong! And you got no right yourself to say that, you so-called goddess! Trying to act all high and mighty to people while you go and hoard booze like some alcoholic doomsday prepper!"

"_Waah! _There you go again! You're nothing but a big meanie! It's no wonder Megumin is avoiding you!" Aqua hugs her knees to cry before him.

Her words had more impact than he thought as Kazuma stops himself from making another comment. "Sorry… I was out of line," he muttered. Aqua gazes up at him with a perplexed stare.

"What?" he asks, slightly irritated.

"You really have changed, it's no on your knees and beg for forgiveness apology, but I didn't expect one so quick from you."

_The only person who really needs a change is you…_

But it's true, he should be tearing this useless Archpriest apart with his words. Megumin never liked them fighting with each other. The image of her being upset by it is now clinging to his mind. Could that be the reason why? It's certainly not because of that night when he and Aqua talked about his relationship with her since she couldn't remember a thing the next morning. So much for that torrent of rain to come and sweep him away.

"If you really don't know, then just go talk to her," Aqua suggested, "There's no better way of knowing without facing the problem head on."

"… I already know but hearing that from you is unexpected. Are _you _okay?"

"Excuse me for trying to help! Do you know how much my followers sacrificed to get advice like this? Since we are friends, I'll consider a discount by an offering of two-no, three expensive wines of my choosing."

"Didn't you hear me saying that I already know what you just told me? Why don't you take those empty wine bottles under your bed and shove them right up your-"

"What's going on here? What are you two doing outside of my room?" Megumin's voice interrupted their usual heated exchange. Aqua glances at her then back at Kazuma who turns to meet her gaze. She whispers, "Good luck," before turning to leave. He watches her go now wondering if she did indeed remember that night before turning his attention back to Megumin.

"Oi, Megu. Do you have a minute to talk?"

"N-not right now!" She tries to charge into her bedroom but Kazuma steps in front blocking her path. "Hold on, it'll be quick!" he said.

"Then it can wait! Just let me in my room for a bit then I'll talk to you, I promise!"

Kazuma frowns at her and notice how she doesn't move her arms away from her back. "Wait, are you hiding something?" he asks. Megumin stiffens then takes a step back.

"Nothing! I'm just… casually stretching it behind me, is that so weird? Now just let me through!"

"…" Kazuma squints at her then moves to his left to try to get a peek behind but Megumin shuffles to the same direction. He then quickly steps to his right, but she moved quicker. Keeping his eyes trained on her, he slowly raises his left hand.

"W-what do you think you're doing!?" she shouts.

"Nothing," he says, "just casually stretching out my arm."

"Kazuma, I swear if you use that Thief skill, I will pummel you with my staff!"

_So, you are hiding something!_

Nothing will come if this keeps up, however. Kazuma shakes his head and drops his arm, "Alright, alright, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to bother you."

"You're not…" Megumin's voice softens, "I know I been avoiding you for a while, but I have a reason for that, and I will tell you!"

He looks at her for a moment then gave her a smile. "If you say so, sorry for keeping you then." He moves out of the way for her then walks down the hall. Megumin let out a sigh of relief and reaches out for her door with one hand.

"… Steal." Kazuma shoots up his other hand before she could react. A brief light flashes from his hand. She immediately notices the absent feeling in her hands.

"NOOO! That was dirty! Give it baaack!" she charges blindly at him trying to grab the package but Kazuma stops her easily with one hand on her head.

He stares blankly at the object. It looks to be a simple rectangular wrapped box, no bigger than 6 inches long. A little red ribbon wraps around it in a tight little bow.

"… what's this?"

Megumin accepts defeat and let her arms fall to her side while keeping her body leaning against his hand. "A present…" she groans.

"Oh? Is this from your family?"

She shakes her head.

"Yunyun?"

"What? No, it's- "

"That weird Cecily chick who has a hard on for you?"

"For the love of-It's from me! It's my gift to you!" She pulls her mage hat down and stuffs her face into it.

Kazuma blankly stares back at the package in his hand.

_Huh, Megumin got me a gift._

_A surprised gift._

_That she tried to hide from me…_

His mouth twists in horror at the realization of his action. He hands it back to her by holding it next to her face. Megumin looks at it but made no movement to take it and frowns. "Stealing a gift that was meant for you from a girl, you really are the worst."

"S-sorry…"

"Everything is ruined…" She shoves her face back into her hat and muffles out, "I had it all planned out to give it to you after our date. And you just had to go and steal it from me!"

"Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on! What date? And what do you mean by planning?"

Megumin hugs her legs and stares disappointingly at the floor. "I been avoiding you this entire week because I was setting up a date night for us since we haven't gone on one for a while. I set aside money from our quests, booked a restaurant, and bought a new dress. This package was the last thing I needed just before I could ask you out…"

If this was a failed decision in some dating sim game Kazuma played, then it was clearly going for a bad ending. His blood ran cold and the chains of guilt wrapped themselves around his heart to point of stopping.

"D-don't look so down! I haven't even opened the thing yet, so technically the surprise isn't completely ruined!"

"But now you're going to expect it, it won't be the same…"

"Hey, it doesn't matter whether I know now, it's the thought that counts, right?" He sat down on one knee next to her and places his arm on her shoulder. "I'm really sorry for acting like an ass. I shouldn't have done that to you. I didn't… want to admit it, but I was worried when you stopped asking me to come with you. And to think this entire time you were trying to set up another date as a surprise, it just makes me realize what a piece of shit I can be."

"True, Kazuma really can't help being trash for once."

"… I deserve that."

"But," Megumin moves his arm from her shoulder and held onto his hand. "It's just how we are, right? I give you my fair share of trouble and you give me yours. I can't blame you for being worried either… I'm sorry too.

"And if Kazuma doesn't want me to cancel, then would you like to go out? With me?" She looks up at him with her eyes giving off a glow showing her excitement. Since when did that chuuni-like quirk of hers begin to look so cute?

"Of course," Kazuma answered, "I probably might need to find something nice to wear."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. You can go in however you like."

"Huh? Oh, alright… when is it happening again?"

"Tonight."

"T-_tonight_? And you were going to ask me now?"

"Well," she taps her fingers together trying to suppress a smile, "To be honest I been only thinking about making this night work, and I didn't think you would say no…"

_She's… right about that_, Kazuma admits. _But how about a heads-up next time?_

"It's not like I got anything planned anyway," he said as he hands the package back to her, "At least it's not a quest or another survival night in a forest full of monsters."

Megumin giggles and takes her present back, "Then it's settled! Be ready by sunset, got it?"

"Sure… I guess I'll see you then," Kazuma replied as Megumin lets go of his hand and heads to her bedroom. She pauses however at the door for a moment before running back to him.

Before he could respond, Megumin pulls him down and plants a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks," was all she said before rushing into the room and slamming the door shut behind her.

Kazuma stood there, feeling his cheek with his left hand as he took in the moment. Thanks? All he did was said yes to the date. If anything, he only made it worse for using Steal on the gift she made for him.

Was she that worried he'd say no to her? Eating out together at some joint is out of his comfort zone but how can he say no to another date with a beautiful girl? A girl who loves him this much to take initiative and spend her own hard-earned money on this night for them. A girl who is too stubborn to ask for help on these matters and is always trying to prove something. A girl who causes him no end of trouble and yet couldn't imagine a life without that anymore if he tried.

There is no way he can let this night end up like the rest.

Kazuma walks down the hallway to the living room where he found Aqua spread out on the couch. She lifts her head at his approach and says, "Yeesh, what's with the uber-serious look on your face? Do you need to use the bathroom?"

"Aqua, can you come with me to somewhere really quick? I got someone I need to talk to."

~/Now/~

"You're crazy! It's sweet! But crazy!" Eris cries, yet her eyes are tearing up from the story.

"Don't get the wrong idea! I didn't kill myself because of l-love! I'm not that kind of creep! It's this damn world's fault for making me desensitized to death." While that was true, he notices how it must have looked now thinking about it. And despite her disproval, she seems rather touched by the morbid display of affection. She really needs to come down from Heaven and live a little…

"And you're here because you don't want whatever this… 'curse' that's been ruining both your nights to affect this one?" Eris summarized, "Aqua may not be as strong as she is in that world, but her Dispel ability is still second-to-none. Any strange curse like that would've been gone long ago."

"I figured it might be worth seeing if you could break it or at least see it. Guess it's the same then," Kazuma sighs, but still not convinced. These interruptions are too well timed for him to brush off. "But since I'm here, I don't suppose I can ask for your blessing?"

"I-I can't! Gods are not supposed to intervene with the affairs of mortals!"

He rolls his eyes at the excuse, "Hasn't Heaven already done enough meddling around themselves? Dropping Cheaters from another world in this place with overbalanced weapons and skills, letting a goddess adventure with me who makes zero effort in hiding her identity, and leaving the cheat relics behind for people to take advantage of? And you're telling me a simple blessing is going _too far?_"

Eris lets out a giggle at his burst. "When you put it that way, it's hard to even argue when I'm just as frustrated about it as you are. After all, we already are a bunch of rebels?" she said as she scratches the scar on her cheek, "I don't sense any of this 'curse' afflicting you, and I'm certainly not interfering with your love affairs but if it puts you at ease, then I'll grant this blessing of luck upon you. But remember, this doesn't mean it will prevent any troubles you two will cause."

She holds out both of her hands with their palms facing up and closes her eyes. A bright light shines from them and engulfs Kazuma completely, irritating the crap of his eyes but feels something different about himself. Like waking up on a New Year's Day kind of feeling.

"**Kazuma! Get your butt out of that seat and come back already!"**

And now that feeling is overshadowed by sheer annoyance.

"Guess I got to go now, thanks again and sorry for the scare," said Kazuma as he bows apologetically to her before a column of light shines down on him and carries him off his feet.

"It's alright! People tend to act crazy when they're in love!" she replies with a wink.

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

Kazuma shouted as he bolted up from the ground causing Aqua to jump back. He shakes his head and looks around the area, realizing he's already back. He looks up at the cliffside where he leapt from and involuntarily gulps after gauging the distance was about a good 60 feet from the ground…

Now that he thinks about it, just what the hell was he thinking?

Aqua regain her composure and grabs Kazuma by the collar shaking him viciously. "It's not like that!?" she shouts, "What! So, it's not like you dragged me to this side of the cliff and jumped off without a word, making me crawl my way down here on my hands and knees to bring your sorry ass back!? Have you finally lost it? You've lost it, haven't you!"

"Quit shaking me! You're making it worse!" He pulls her hands away from and rubs his throbbing forehead. Aqua gives him a minute while placing her hands by her waist. "Just what do you need from my kohai instead of asking me… Wait, is that a blessing I sense? You cheater!"

"Excuse me? I don't recall pledging my faith to you." Kazuma stands up and stretches out his back. "I just needed a second opinion is all, to make sure this 'curse' isn't going to ruin our night."

"Hmph, so you doubted my abilities and sought a lesser goddess for help, I should've just left you behind and tell Megumin how you killed yourself to talk with another girl."

"Don't you dare! I'm sorry, alright! I don't want anything to ruin this for her."

Aqua sighs and crosses her arms, "I suppose I'll overlook this treacherous act for Megumin's sake. Seriously, I know you're all lovey-dovey now, but you really need to get that head of yours checked."

"For the last time, I didn't do it for love!" he shouted, "Unless these churches start implementing call lines, this is pretty much the only method that works."

"So, what now? Anymore questionable plans I gotta tag along for?"

Kazuma rolls his eyes and responds, "No… well, there is something I need to get before this day ends. But you can just head on home."

"Wait! You're planning to get her a gift, aren't you?" Aqua guessed, and judging by his tensed reaction, she was correct. She claps her hands together excitingly, "Ooh! Let me come with you! I'm great at picking gifts, and I'm sure I can help someone as hopeless as you are in getting one!"

"You…" He stops after realizing he wouldn't know where to begin in finding a gift for a girl, let alone a person like Megumin. Besides, he did already give Aqua enough trouble for that stunt of his. And she is offering to help…

"Fine, but remember it's something that _Megumin _would like," he said as he begins to head out.

"Oh, come on! I'm sure she'll appreciate a nice bottle of wine!"

"_What did I just say!?"_

~/~

Megumin hums to herself as she watches the sun from the window. Just a few hours left till sundown. Her heart has been anticipating for this moment ever since she came up with the idea. These past days have felt so painful in waiting and distancing herself from Kazuma to keep him from knowing her plans. Even if the invitation turned out to be… less glamorous than she hoped, she couldn't be happier to see him accept.

And yet, she feels like she's forgetting something…

"Someone's in a good mood," a familiar voice call to her from behind.

Her stomach tenses as she turns to her friend, Darkness, wearing her casual dress and giving Megumin a kind smile.

"Yeah…" she replies wearily. She swivels her body on the sill to face her but cast her eyes to the floor, not being able bring herself to look at her.

Darkness leans over trying to meet her gaze, "Megumin… you're not feeling guilty for me, are you?"

"…"

"It's okay…" Darkness said somberly, "This is your night, I know how much you love him… and he clearly feels the same about you too."

"So, do you…" she replied but not accusingly, "But I care about you too… I want to be with him, but I don't want this to separate us. I don't want you to leave…"

"Of course, I won't! If anything, I should be thankful that you would still want me by your side. You're important to me as he and Aqua is."

Megumin finally looks up at her with tears brimming in her eyes. She smiles before Darkness reaches and wipes them away for her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't make you cry before your big night. Even though I lost, I'm still content knowing that I can be together with you all to the end."

"Thank you, I couldn't ask for a better friend." She wraps her arms around Darkness for a tight hug, who also returns the gesture.

"If you don't mind me saying," Darkness pulls away and brushes Megumin's hair back from her face, "Are you sure Kazuma will be okay in a romantic public setting?"

Megumin pridefully places her hands at her hips, "Of course. I know Kazuma better than he thinks, that's why I took the extra step to renting out the entire place to ourselves!"

"R-really? That can't have been cheap," Darkness exclaims.

"It wasn't, but the owner was really generous after I told him how Kazuma rescued me from a life of poverty after falling head over heels for me when we first made eye contact. But I had to wait for the 17th of this month to book it."

Darkness let out a short laugh realizing Megumin just swindled a kind man with that exaggerating sham of a love story. Sounds like something Kazuma would do too… Hold on, did she say the 17th?

"M-Megumin…"

"Yes?"

"You do know that… today is the 18th, right?"

She blinks at Darkness' words then let out a forced laugh, "Very funny, but I'm not falling for that you know. I been tracking the days on that calendar over there." She points at the wall next to the doorway that leads to the kitchen. Darkness' face twists into a horrified expression before turning back to her poor friend.

"You mean that calendar? The calendar that's dated a year ago?"

"… eh?"

Megumin hops down from the window and runs over to the wall to check for herself. Her head slowly cranes back to Darkness and asks, "T-t-t-this is a joke, right? You're just playing a mean prank, r-right?"

"I wouldn't dare to do such a thing, but for once I wish…"

"WHY DO WE EVEN STILL HAVE THIS!?" Megumin tears the outdated calendar from the wall and proceeds to tear it to shreds. Darkness thought about explaining that Aqua kept it because of the cute dog pictures but decided against it to save her friend from her wrath.

"Everything's ruined! Again!" she shouted as she drops to the floor with her hands over her head. "It's not fair! It's not fair!"

"I-it's okay!" Darkness tries reassuring her from a safe distance, "You can always reschedule- "

"NO!" she snaps, "I waited for far too long and I'll damned to wait any longer than this!" She rises to her feet and grabs her black mantle.

"Don't tell anyone about this!" she demanded before charging out of the house leaving a stunned Darkness behind with a mess of shredded paper.

Aqua strolls down the hallway and sticks her head into the room, "Hey, what's with all the-_AAHHH!_ What did you do!?"

"I-I…" she looks at the pile then back at Aqua, "… I really hate this calendar…"

~/~

"I chose yesterday because it's usually a slow day, but if we had opened, we would've made more than what you gave us," the owner said to her.

"I'm sorry…" Megumin replies, bowing her head.

"I don't mind being generous, but generosity isn't going to keep the place running. You're welcome to dine in tomorrow, but we'll have to stay open for everyone unless you can make more than we can."

"B-but…" she chokes on her words, "I told him it was going to be tonight… And I really want to show him how I feel…"

The owner lets out a tired sigh as he runs his hand through his beard. It would be easier if it was the boyfriend doing the begging. A girl who looks to be his own daughter on the other hand… He's too nice for his own good.

"Tell you what, since we don't open today, I'll let you use the place as long as you clean up after."

Her eyes glow as she beams up at him with a huge grin, "Really? Thank you so much!"

He holds his hand out to stop her, "Let me finish, I won't charge you again but since there's no profit in this, I can't ask my workers to come in especially outside of work hours. Either you two do all the cooking yourselves or find some volunteers to help. But remember, I don't want anything to either go missing or damaged. Got it?"

"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!" Megumin gratefully bows to him again.

"Yeah, yeah…" the owner turns to leave but stops to say, "Heh, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he's probably the lucky one to have someone like you. Hope your mother's operation goes well, and bring your little one with you next time, I'll treat her to one of our fine desserts!"

"Huh? O-Oh! Right, thanks…" she smiles as hard as she can to hide the disgust feeling of guilt clawing its way through her stomach.

As the man leaves, Megumin bites at her thumb. So far, she still managed to get the place to themselves and there's only a couple of hours left until the sun goes down. She may consider this good enough and head on home but having to cook all their meals would cut down on their time together.

_I can't ask Aqua and Darkness for obvious reasons but who else could I find that's willing to help? Maybe if I make a post at the guild board, I could get a response before sunset? If I act now, I could hang around there until an hour left and-…"_

Her thoughts stopped as soon as she recognizes a certain figure peeking from a corner at her. The girl smiles at her as soon as their crimson eyes connected.

Megumin looks the other way and starts to leave.

"Megumin! Wait! Don't just ignore me when you clearly need help!" Yunyun cries.

"You really can be irritating sometimes…" Megumin mutters under her breath before flapping her mantle dramatically to face her rival. "I'm only considering this because I'm running on short time! Can you cook?"

"Of course! Just who do you think made those lunches you keep taking from me during school?"

"Well, I certainly hope you improved since. But why are you so intent in helping me out on this? Aren't you going to feel overwhelmingly alone seeing us on our date together all night?"

"Again with the mean words! Is it so hard to believe that I just want to help out a friend?"

Megumin scoffs, "Friend? I thought we were rivals. What? Don't have some lame excuse like 'Oh, I can't let myself be seen with someone who couldn't go steady with a guy she loves' or 'I can hardly call someone who couldn't take her man on a proper date my rival if people were to know'!"

"I would never say something like that about your relationship… are you okay?"

"Of course, I'm fine! What kind of stupid question is that!? You got anything more to say, Captain Obvious!?" she shouted. Yunyun leans back from her uncharacteristic display. She closes her fists in frustration and shouts back, "Well excuse me for offering! If you're going to be like that then never mind! Why don't you go cast that Explosion spell of yours on something before you blow up on somebody's face again!"

Megumin opens her mouth ready to unload another barrage of words until her memory finally clicks. Her anger immediately subsides as an overwhelming feeling of shock causes her mouth to go agape.

Yunyun took this as an advantage and continues, "What? All out of mana again? You need someone to carry that jaw of yours home too?"

"I didn't cast it…"

"… huh?"

Megumin stares at her own hands like she just woke up in a different body. "My Explosion… I didn't get to cast it today…"

"… EHHHHH!?" Yunyun cries out and grabs her friend by the shoulders. Her friend who she remembers during their childhood who never stopped talking about Explosions. Her friend who listened to no one about how using Explosions is useless. Her friend who constantly lies about and made sure to be able to cast her Explosion spell every day, now telling her that she _forgot_ the very thing she lives for.

"How did this happen!?"

"I been… so worked up about this date… it was all I could think of…" Megumin said with a distressed look glued onto her face as Yunyun shakes her vigorously.

"D-Does Kazuma matter to you even more than Explosions? Is that even possible?"

"There was that time… when I was willing to give it up for him… but he let me keep it because it makes me happy," she said with her cheeks slowly reddening.

Yunyun covers her mouth, unsure whether she should feel touched or terrified at this revelation. To think Megumin of all people would make such a girly face!

She takes her by the hand and says, "Then let's go right now, I'll take you home before your date tonight."

Megumin blinks and looks down at her hand. Yunyun waited for her to respond before letting out a small gasp when Megumin pulls it back from her. "I can't… even if I get my mana refilled, my body will be tired, and it will be hard to focus… I'm sure Kazuma won't mind if I do it after dinner, so I'll just have to wait."

Yunyun was about to comment about her aggression but decided against poking the bear any further. To think she would see her to show constraint over the very thing that gives her life. She imagines this could only end poorly if her resolve doesn't outweigh her desire.

No, this is the time when she should be giving her friend the support she needs. If Megumin is willing to sacrifice Explosion for him, then she can't let her struggle be in vain! "Don't worry about it! Just show me the place and I'll see what I can to help. You focus on spending time with Kazuma and leave it to me!"

"Yunyun…" Megumin looks to the ground trying to hide the sincerity in her eyes. Feeling her confidence coming back to her, she raises her head proudly and flaps her mantle. "If you insist! Prove to me you got what it takes, and I'll consider taking you on seriously once this night ends with a bang! Onward! To the best night of our lives!"

~/~

Night has finally fallen. Kazuma sits on his bed in his usual adventuring gear and gazes down at the bag in his hand.

Aqua was no help as always to him, but neither could find anything for someone like Megumin. Better gear doesn't sound like a gift between couples. She's not interested in jewelry either. And there's barely any magical items or potions that could boost someone who relies on a one-time use spell.

Despite Aqua's protest, he finally settled on Vanir's idea when he visited the shop. Trusting a demon who feeds off bad emotions is about the worse choice he could've gone for admittedly, but this was about the best thing he could get on short notice.

The sound of knocking on his door pulled his attention and immediately a feeling of butterflies burst into his stomach.

"Kazuma?" Megumin's voice calls out through the door, "Are you ready?"

"Y-yeah, just a sec." He wipes his palms onto his bed as they began to feel clammy. His legs shake a bit as he stood up to approach the door.

_What's the matter with me? This isn't our first date. I shouldn't be so nervous… But it is going to be just us together this time, in an area filled with strangers… Like a real couple…_

His fingers went white from gripping the doorknob hard. He takes in a deep breath and pats the bag hanging from side for reassurance before opening the door.

Kazuma froze upon seeing Megumin standing before him adorning a simple yet elegant black dress. It's rare he ever sees her without her typical witch outfit and eyepatch except for her nightwear. Such a simple attire and yet she couldn't look more mature and beautiful than before as it emphasizes her porcelain doll-like features.

Megumin smiles and twirls around letting her knee-length skirt spread outwards in a bowl. "W-what do you think?" her voice cracks.

"It's…" Kazuma swallows, trying his best not to stare. "It… suits you."

"… that's all?" Megumin said, apathetically.

_Give me a break! I'm not good at this kind of thing! _Is what he really wants to say, but instead he mutters, "S-sorry…"

"It's fine…" she lies. Deciding to cast a bait for another attempt, she pulls at her skirt innocently and asks, "It isn't too much, is it?"

"Nope… not at all," he said as he shifts his eyes away in reflex.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

_Try harder than that, you damn coward! Gods, I could really use something hard to blow up right now!_

Megumin shakes away her thoughts after noticing the grip on her bag containing his gift is tightening. This was already proving to be harder than she thought. He's not an open book, so she shouldn't expect such an easy reply from him. At least his constant glances at her says it all.

"I see you're wearing your usual gear tonight," she comments.

"You said I didn't have to worry, but I probably should've got something different…"

"That's fine, it's hard to imagine you in a sharp outfit but I always liked this look of yours." She takes his hand into her own and smiles, "Ready to go?"

Kazuma closes the door behind him as Megumin leads him down the hall to the foyer. As they pass through, both Aqua and Darkness looks over from the couch and waves at them.

"Have fun you two!" Aqua said, "But be careful out there! Someone might get the wrong idea and throw Kazuma in the slammer given his track record."

"If that happens, come to us first before you do anything rash, Megumin," Darkness warns.

"Can I blow them up?" Megumin mutters to Kazuma.

"Not now, we'll wait when they least expect it," he answered before they both head out the door and into the night.

* * *

**Author's notes**

**Next part is all planned out, but my time is being really limited with college and work so the estimation of when next chapter will hit will be anyone's guess but I will make sure not to leave this story unfinished. I hope you guys enjoy this so far and I pray this final chapter will bring satisfaction to you all. Thanks for reading!**


	8. God's Blessing on this Explosive Night 2

**Author's Notes**

**Hey, I did _not _forget about this story! **

**Deep apologies to you all who were expecting this chapter soon. Work and school made it very hard to keep the flow of writing this one out. I'm happy to finally finish it though it took way longer than I wanted it to and it's definitely my most lengthy chapter of all. From now on I will make sure to thoroughly plan out stories with chapters to reduce this problem. I might work on more Kazumin as I have an idea for a oneshot some time later, but I'll look to improve by then.**

**I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read this dumb premise of a story of my favorite pairing. The support was insane and reading your reviews make my day. I'm looking to improve as I'm sure I have a lot of errors and room to work on so I'm not afraid of any criticism to be made here. I hope you guys enjoy, and really, truly thank you for reading!**

* * *

**God's Blessing on this Explosive Night!**

**Part 2**

"Are you alright, Megu?"

"Hmm?" she glances back at Kazuma as the two strolls through the streets of Axel. Despite the late hour, the area is still accompanied by citizens, adventuring parties, and even other couples.

Instead of blending in like he had hoped, the two are unfortunately attracting attention thanks to their reputation. Kazuma felt uncomfortable by the not-so-discreet passersby whispering to one another while looking back at them. A few men he recognizes from the guild gave him thumbs up which did little to help his anxiety. Megumin didn't seem to notice at all, or rather is just pretending not to.

"You seem kind of… distracted. What's up?"

"Nothing," she answers quickly before turning her head forward, "I'm just nervous is all…"

Hearing that from her help combat the uneasy feeling in his gut. Most guys in this situation would probably think nothing of it then but Kazuma could tell something is still off about her.

Like how she keeps squeezing the life out of his hand at random intervals.

_Owowow! This seriously hurts! I should just let go but it might make things awkward between us._ He grits his teeth and tries to savor the momentary ease of her soft, delicate hand before it goes for another death grip. The feeling of something cracking in his hand made him give up and say, "O-Oi, Megumin… my hand sweat isn't making you uncomfortable, is it?"

"It's fine," she replied.

_That's supposed to make you feel grossed out, damn it! What am I saying? This is the same girl who eats bugs and climbs inside of Giant Toads' mouth to stay warm._

"Are we just gonna hold hands all the way?"

"Huh?" Megumin fully turns and gives him a quizzical look, "Is that not okay with you…?"

"No! There's nothing wrong, I mean, we can try something… else?"

She tilts her head and frowns at him with confusion until a thought came to her mind. "Oh, like this?" she draws closer to him and wrapped herself around his arm. Megumin looks up at him shyly with her head leaning against his shoulder for confirmation to which he answered too quickly with a nod.

_This… is not what I meant… but at least my hand isn't going to break._ Still Kazuma could now feel the attention more than ever from the passing citizens around them making his heart race. _Don't you guys have something else to do!?_

Clear thoughts. Clear thoughts! Just focus on the date and as soon as it ends, I'll blow something up! Megumin thought to herself. She shifts her head slightly to look back at Kazuma gazing around with a tightened expression on his face. She giggles to herself at the thought of him being flustered about their night together.

After a moment of walking, they finally stop in front of a small restaurant packed between two large buildings. "We're here!" Megumin announced with a bright smile. Kazuma quietly exhales as she lets go to dramatically present in her usual Crimson Demon way.

"Huh, well that explains it. You almost had me think we were going to some high-class joint." The front of the place is nicely decorated with plants and outdoor tables one space away at the entrance. Kazuma tried to look through the large window on the left side of the place but the panels were too dark to make out anything inside.

"That kind of place is rather too stuffy to enjoy, if you ask me. And way to pricey for someone with a low pay rate…"

"You wouldn't have to worry about that with me around, you know."

"Hou~" Megumin tilts her head back at him, "Is Kazuma already planning another date?"

"We haven't even started yet!" He takes another look at the building then the street around them. "Megumin, are you sure the place is open? I don't see anyone but us around…"

"Fufu, that's correct," Megumin grabs onto the handles of the twin doors then flings them open dramatically. She spun around and strikes a pose, "Because I, Megumin, have taken claim on this domain for our night of entertainment!"

"Oh, is that right?" Kazuma nods absentmindedly then felt as if someone just bust him across the face with a God Blow as he double takes what she said. "You mean…! You rented the place out?"

"That's right," Megumin proudly grins.

"And… it'll just be us two?"

"Not exactly, someone's helping out with us. Come in!" She pulls him by the arm into the restaurant before closing the doors behind them.

Kazuma unhooks his mantle and hangs it on the coat rack nearby with shaking arms. What the hell's wrong with me? We've gone on a date… -ish before. This is no different!

Except it is. Unlike before which was a simple picnic by the lake with an unwanted guest, this is an actual one on one dining experience in an entirely different mood. A type of date normies go to celebrate their anniversaries and act all lovey-dovey with each other… Wait a minute, is this their anniversary date? Is that why she booked a place, bought a dress, and made him a gift!?

No, Kazuma puts a halt to his wracking brain and tries to calm himself down. He can't let himself get carried away and do something dumb that could ruin the night. Maybe the nerves will settle down once he gets some food in him.

"Anyone here?" Kazuma called after seeing no one around to greet them.

"Just a sec!" Kazuma tilts his head to the familiar voice calling to them. "Is that… Yunyun?" he turns his head to Megumin still smiling to herself with pride.

"I couldn't get the regular workers to serve us, so I settled for Yunyun since she insisted to help out."

"... we're not illegally breaking in, are we?"

"Of course not!" Megumin turns her head to the sound of a door opening somewhere nearby. Expecting Yunyun coming out to greet them just like they rehearsed earlier. A warm feeling spreads across her chest at the thought of it. Despite all the hard times she gives her, to think Yunyun would still not hesitate to help. Maybe Megumin should treat her better from now on and do something nice to repay-

"Sorry! W-Welcome!"

_HEY! JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING!?_

Both of their jaws dropped upon Yunyun's appearance as she steps out to meet them. Her outfit is a typical maid-like attire with a low hanging skirt and a wider cleavage window. Kazuma flinches as Yunyun bows to them unintentionally causing her breasts to bounce and display more skin.

Megumin glances at him knowing full well where his eyes are aiming at and grits her teeth.

"Kazuma…" He turns his head to Megumin's death glare pointing straight at Yunyun. "Do you mind letting us talk for a minute? Please?"

Sensing this was one of those moments where he's better off not asking, he nods and says "O-okay…"

Yunyun lifts her head to see Kazuma stepping back outside, "Huh? What's wrong-HAAAA!" Megumin throws her suddenly against the wall and slams her hand over by Yunyun's head.

"Are you that desperate to achieve victory over me that you would go as low as trying to steal my man?" her voice rasps as her eyes cast an intimidating red glare against her fellow Crimson Demon.

"D-D-Don't get the wrong idea!" Yunyun cries, "I wanted to look the part, but the staff outfits are all like this! It's not my fault! See!" She points toward the back near the door to the kitchen where a small rack of staff clothing is hanging from. Megumin drops her aggression upon seeing the suggestive, tiny waitress dresses. Here she thought the owner was a kind man who owns a modest eatery but have forgotten the type of people that live in this town...

"I guess I'll overlook this then, but you need to cover yourself up! Get an apron or something!"

"There wasn't any around! I think they might've taken them to get washed or something."

"Then use this!" Megumin pulls Kazuma's mantle from the rack but pauses at the thought of Yunyun wearing his clothes. "GAH! Nevermind! Here!" she tosses it back onto the rack then grabs onto the edges of a nearby tablecloth.

"What are you-!" Yunyun was too late to stop her as Megumin pulls the cloth away knocking the flower vase that was sitting on top onto the floor. It shatters, spilling out water and flowers onto the carpeted floor.

"… we'll clean it up later." Megumin thrusts the cloth to Yunyun's chest.

"You're being worse than usual…" Yunyun muttered under her breath as she awkwardly tries to fold the cloth over herself like a robe, "Are you sure you can still handle this? Without your… you know?"

"I'm trying not to think about it!" Megumin scratches her arm feeling that irritating itch on her skin. "And don't you dare tell Kazuma!"

"You haven't told him yet?" Yunyun exclaims.

"I want him to see me as mature woman tonight," Megumin said as she twirls her hair, "Not someone who gets antsy over something like that… spell…"

"Awww!"

"Plus he might tease me about it and I'll end up pummeling him."

"Oh…" Yunyun nods. That sounds about right.

"Yo," Kazuma's voice calls through the door as he knocks on it twice, "Is everything alright? I thought I heard something break in there."

"Nothing!" the girls answered. Megumin turns back to Yunyun to ask, "You mentioned 'we' earlier, did you actually managed to find someone?"

"Yes! I actually ran into her while she was visiting Axel, she's in the back getting ready."

"Excellent, we're all set then!" Megumin nods at Yunyun then goes to open the door to let him back in.

Kazuma stumbles upon the mess of broken shards and flowers lying in a spilled puddle. Yunyun looks like she's about to cry from embarrassment when he stares at her makeshift dress then glances at Megumin who just smiles at him disregarding the scene.

_I'm not even going to ask…_

"L-let me show you to your table…" Yunyun sniffs. The two follow her to the spot at the rear end of the place. The area around them is lit up by the candles and a large fireplace built in the center of the room. The cozy interior design admittedly feels relaxing to Kazuma like he's back at their living room resting on the couch waiting for dinner.

Wait, was this another reason why she picked out this place? Had she planned this ahead to make him feel comfortable on their date? No, of course not. She might be a genius but Kazuma knows her long enough to realize she's as clueless about dates as-

"What do you think of the place?" Megumin glances back at him as they reached their table.

"Huh? Oh, uh pretty nice?" he replies while sitting down, "Feels like I'm back at the manor."

"Fufu, I was hoping you think so."

_Oh… I guess she did plan this far ahead._

_Crap._

"So Yunyun!" Kazuma called excitedly, "Nice of you to help out! How you been? We haven't talked for a while, haven't we?"

Yunyun manages a weak grin as she places both glasses of water to their sides then hands them their menu from the serving cart nearby. "I-I'm good! It's no problem at all, even rivals have to put aside their differences at times to help out."

Back again with that crap? Megumin masks her irritation by taking a sip from her water.

"Haha," Kazuma forced out a chuckle, "Is that right? By the way, love the makeshift dress style you got going there! The red really compliments your eyes!"

Megumin suddenly sprays water out of her mouth at the table and let out a strained coughing fit.

"Megumin! Are you okay?" Yunyun kneels by her side and pats her back.

He should be complimenting me! This guy got some nerve… Megumin growls before another cough erupted from her. "I'm fine… shouldn't you be taking our orders now?" she rasps.

"O-kay… Let me know what either you want to drink, and I'll give you some time to look through the menu."

"We can just order anything?" Kazuma skims through the small book in his hands and glances back at her, "You're not going to cook all our meals yourself, are you?"

"Mhm," she shakes her head, "Someone's helping me out too. She'll be out to take your orders once she gets done. Even if some of these recipes aren't what I'm used to making, I'm pretty confident when it comes to cooking!"

"No worries, we'll go easy on ya," Kazuma confides as he skims through the menu until he reaches a certain section. "Some black tea would be nice."

"Oh? Is Kazuma not going to drink?" She asks innocently but was secretly hoping he would let himself get buzzed so he can act more confident tonight.

"Not tonight," he scratches his head, "I am our ride back home, after all."

Yunyun and Megumin both gave him strange looks.

"What do you mean? We walked here."

"No that was… never mind…" Feeling embarrassed, he sinks down into this chair.

"In case you change your mind, I'll have one of their top-quality wine and just leave the bottle with two glasses, please."

"Uh, Megumin, if you don't mind me asking but are uh sure you should be drinking as well since-"

A stern red glare shuts down her concern and made Yunyun double take on her order. "R-right! I'll be back with the drinks then!" She hurries out with the cart behind into the door supposedly leading into the kitchen. Leaving the two alone with each other for now in the entire dining area.

Just them.

Sitting in a diner.

All alone.

_Oi! Get it together, damn it! You know her for over a year now! Quit being so damn nervous!_

Kazuma pretends to go over the menu to sneak some glances at her. He notices the way she fidgets her fingers with her own menu. The way her forehead creases like a sour thought came to her mind before it relaxes. Something's clearly up with her but she didn't seem interested in sharing it with him earlier. And now doesn't seem to be a good time to press. Just what is she hiding from him?

But the question began to migrate to the back of his mind as he takes in her appearance. He couldn't remember the last time Megumin wore anything girly before. She was cute in her regular adventuring attire but didn't realize how much of her it was hiding. Mostly because of the huge wizard hat and dumb eyepatch, of course. If only she be more inclined to wear something like what Yunyun is wearing for him.

"What is Kazuma thinking about?"

"Huh!? Nothing!"

Megumin looks up from her menu and gives him a questioning gaze, "You're not going to eat?"

"Oh well… Uh," he quickly skims through until his eyes settled on a familiar meal, " I guess I'll settle for... Cabbage Stir Fry."

"Not bad, to be honest I didn't realize how much of the meals here require preparations. Steaks are quick, I think Yunyun can manage two of them while she makes your stir fry."

"You want two steak dinners?" said Kazuma.

"That's right! I can ask for four different sides! Wait, did we decide on an appetizer yet?"

"Don't slave the poor girl!"

After a moment of being convinced by Kazuma to settle on only one entree, Megumin checks her bag laying on the floor below her. Her heart beats faster thinking about when she'll hand it to him. The end of the date is usually a good time, isn't it? But the anticipation and irritation of not having to cast her… thing… is wearing down her patience.

She gazes at Kazuma where their eyes met for a moment before he timidly looks away. Megumin smiles, he tries so hard to hide it from her, it's almost cute. As long as she focuses on him she has nothing to worry about. Just the two of them sitting across from each other having a romantic dinner.

"... so what now?" asked Kazuma.

"Huh?"

"Do we just… wait for our meal and eat?"

"Of course not, we could talk."

"... about what?"

Megumin blinks, "I don't… know?"

The two silently stare at each other as the realization kicks in. They spent nearly every time together as party members living in the same house. Anything they could share with each other has already been said on their nights together.

And neither knew what couples typically do on dates like this.

"... how was the weather?" Kazuma asked.

"Really?"

"I'm trying here!"

"Well... tell me about you and Chris' latest raid! Did you guys manage to find any relics or do anything really, really cool?"

"No, we're pretty much at a dead end until something comes up. We haven't made a move for nearly a month," Kazuma answered honestly. "Oh," Megumin responded a bit more disappointingly.

"We could talk about explo-

"NO!" Megumin snaps.

Kazuma recoils from the sudden outburst and frowns questionably at her, _"You._ Don't want to talk about explosions?"

"I just... think we should talk about something more romantic." Not a great way to derail the subject, they barely could even find a regular topic to talk about. Kazuma clearly didn't buy it but her loaded response felt like a red flag to tread on. He crosses his arms onto the table and looks around the place again, "How did you afford this place? You didn't actually managed to find another party?"

Megumin shakes her head, "I saved up my share of our quests for this night."

"Isn't that money suppose to be for you family?"

"When I told my mother I was planning a date, she insisted that I stop sending them for a bit so I can save up faster..." Megumin blushes. They both knew exactly what Yuiyui would hope to happen. But Kazuma notice her expression falling with concern and worry for her family. "I can send some money for you," Kazuma offered.

Megumin lifts her head up in surprise, "Are you sure?" He nods. "That's so sweet of you, thank you."

"I wouldn't want Komekko to starve is all."

"Is that so? I guess she should be thankful," Megumin watches Kazuma squirm in his seat and chuckles. He tries so hard to act cool in front of her even when he just shown his soft side to her. Its really heartwarming to know he's always looking out for her and her family. She couldn't help imagine what it would be like to have him become part of the Crimson Mage clan.

"Kazuma, what would you think about being-"

"Ready to order?" A cheery, familiar voice calls out to them. They both turn their heads to the direction where the kitchen is just in time to see a young, blonde girl running directly at Kazuma.

"Iris!?" Kazuma recognizes the young girl prancing to his side before giving him a hug.

"Onii-chan! It's so good to see you! And to you too, Boss!" Iris turns her head to wave at Megumin who stares back slack jawed.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you a little too far from the Capital!?" Kazuma asked with worried words, mostly for her safety and also fear of her guard Claire bursting through those doors and accuse him of kidnapping.

"It's alright! I snuck out of the castle and got a teleport here, even if they find me missing it will take them a long time to even think I'd be in this town!"

"... you say that like it wouldn't cause a problem," Kazuma shakes his head, "I am happy to see you but why are you here?"

"Wait," Megumin interjected, "Yunyun mentioned she found someone earlier."

"That's right! I'll be serving Onii-chan and the Boss tonight!" the young girl exclaims as she grabs onto Kazuma's arm into a hug.

Yunyun emerges from the kitchen and went over to Megumin's side. "I happen to bump into her in this town while she was able to sneak away. She was more than thrilled to help out when I told her about this date, isn't that great!" Yunyun exclaims.

Megumin slowly turned her head to Yunyun and gestures politely for her to lean forward. She frowns but comply and leans before suddenly being grabbed by her collar up to her face.

"Just how much do you hate me?" she quietly growls.

"I-I-I don't-! I thought you would be happy!"

"By inviting my rival to my date!?"

Yunyun flinches, "But I… I thought I was your rival."

"So you are trying to steal Kazuma from me!"

"Ehh!?"

"Is something wrong?" Kazuma asks the two before turning his head too late to see Megumin quickly letting go of Yunyun.

"Of course not, Yunyun and Iris are just about to take our orders. Right, Iris?"

Iris beams, "That's right! I might not have much experience in the kitchen since my servants provides all the meals to me, but I can help Yunyun with the preparations."

"Still, having a princess make a meal for you is a dream come true," said Kazuma.

"I can cook too… she's not that special," Megumin mutters under her breath.

"What does nii-chan think of my outfit?" Iris asks as she twirls around in her maid-like attire that fits her perfectly.

"It looks great on you! Very cute!"

He even complimented her! Megumin bangs her head suddenly to the table causing all three to jump. Yunyun looks back at the two staring at them and chuckles nervously, "Well! Why don't we get those orders then!"

~/~

Megumin pokes at her salad irritably while she listens to Iris chatting with Kazuma after bringing them their appetizers. But. Would. Not. Leave.

"Onii-chan should come visit again! It's so boring without you," Iris groans.

"Like I would pass up another opportunity for a luxurious stay at the palace," Kazuma chuckles.

"Hey!" Iris playfully slaps his arm and giggles, "You're supposed to be visiting for me!"

He's supposed to be paying attention to ME! Megumin stabs down into her veggies and stuffs it angrily into her mouth. She should have tried to end it earlier, but Kazuma does look happy to see her. Though the bitter feeling of him not sharing that smile with her starts to gnaw at her to the point she can't take it anymore.

Swallowing her food, she then speaks "Iris, shouldn't you be helping with Yunyun in the kitchen?"

"I already helped with cutting and prepping the ingredients, there's not much I could do without getting in her way since I can't cook."

So then go make yourself useful and scrub the floors or something! Is what Megumin wanted to say but bit down onto her tongue to keep the words from coming out. She lets out a slight groan from the pain.

Kazuma notices her expression and asks in concern, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I juth bit my tongue…"

"That's what you get for eating too fast," Iris playfully giggles.

Is she mocking her now? This girl is ruining their time together and kept taking Kazuma's attention from her and has the nerve to laugh like that?

Don't act so smug just because Kazuma's really nice to you. I'll make you see the difference between us in Kazuma's eyes.

"Kashuma," Megumin whines, "My tongue really hurth, ith burning!"

"Just how hard did you bite it?" Kazuma got up from his chair and heads over to her side, "If it's bleeding then it must be the wine causing it, here let me see." Megumin glances back to a surprised Iris and smirks before switching to a fake pained expression as Kazuma kneels to her side.

Iris flinches as Kazuma leans close to Megumin's open mouth and rushes to his side, "It's fine! The tongue heals quickly, she just needs some water to wash away the wine."

Kazuma shrugs, "Probably, I don't see anything wrong, could just be sore from the bite."

"But it hurts," Megumin whines.

"What do you want me to do?"

Megumin glances at Iris for a second then back to Kazuma. "It might feel better with a kiss..."

Iris' jaw drop at her words and turns to Kazuma's beet red face. She then interjects with, "T-that's not very proper for onii-chan and Boss to do!"

"Is it? Me and Kazuma are not strangers to kissing. We were even close to break the seal of intimacy with each other that one night."

"Hey just what the hell are you telling her that-for!?"

Kazuma got pulled in by her arms on his shoulder to where their faces are real close. Her breath brushes his face as she continues, "We were like this when he carried me to bed. He held onto me so desperately like he was to fall." Megumin leans closer to him. Kazuma is too stunned and lost in the moment to stop her.

"I-I-I think I heard Yunyun calling for me! Bye!" Iris covers her red cheeks and rushes into the kitchen. Megumin smirks and revels in her victory. She felt sorry for having to do that to Iris but this is a night just for them only.

"... so is this going anywhere or are you going to explain what the hell was that about?" Kazuma pulled her back from her thoughts to realize she's still holding him close. She frowns and sent him back to the floor with a hard push, "Someone had to get rid of her! She was interfering with our date!"

"You could've said something about it!"

"Right, because Onii-chan would have no problem telling his 'very cute' little sister to leave," Megumin mocked in a high pitch voice.

Kazuma lets out an irritated sigh and plops back down to his seat, "Not if she was as short-tempered.." he muttered.

"What was that!?"

Kazuma avoided stoking the flame and just returns to his soup. Only to find an empty bowl with only a few drops left inside. He was taken aback for not noticing when he had finished it. Just how much time has passed since he and Iris talked? Were they really going for that long while the girl he's dating just sat across the table waiting?

He couldn't bring himself to even glance at Megumin now. Just how is it that he would mess things up again? He went through the trouble of killing himself for a useless luck buff just in case things go awry. No, it was just as Eris said, it doesn't affect the actions they make themselves.

But it's not just him, Megumin's clearly bothered about something and she clearly doesn't want to share why. What exactly could have happened to her that made her not want to tell him? They have been through enough together and shared with each other's feelings. She loves and trusts him, doesn't she?

"Was it something I said or did earlier?" Kazuma managed to express the words to her without looking up.

"Hm?" While Kazuma was beating himself over what happened, Megumin was also feeling down about her actions. She realizes how harsh she was being but couldn't stop herself from explo-er, venting her frustrations. She allowed her jealousy to get the best of her and pushed him away. All because she couldn't do it today, and now it would be even worse for her to explain why.

But his words pulled her attention to him. He's not even trying to hide his regret from her despite keeping his face down. "No… well, I guess I was just… bothered you didn't say anything nice since we started," she lied.

"Is that why you chased her away?" Kazuma asks.

Not exactly but it did bother her a bit admittedly. Megumin nods, "Even a woman like me would like a compliment once in a while…"

Don't make me feel bad about this kind of crap… Kazuma crosses his arms and leans back into his chair. Lovey compliments is too embarrassing for him to say, especially in this environment. But it is something a guy should do in a date…

"You shouldn't get so worked up over it," Kazuma began, now feeling the heat rising in his cheeks. "I mean you are… the prettiest one here…" That couldn't come out as bad as it sounded.

Megumin lets out a small laugh, "Not bad…"

"Not bad?"

"I know someone like you wouldn't know how to properly praise a girl if it meant saving your life, but I like that you're trying."

"What was that!?" Kazuma slams his hand down, "I can do better than that! That was just a warm up!" Megumin takes a sip from her wine to hide her sly grin of him taking the bait. She places the glass down and rests her head onto her hands, "Well?"

"Well… despite being a danger to everyone and this town, you are the greatest mage anyone has seen."

You didn't have to start with that, but I like the end part.

"And you really are beautiful."

That's better!

"-even with that witch getup."

Really?

"And, uh… you're also really great to be around with. You're the ace in the hole of our party. Despite being the youngest, you're the most mature and dependable of our group. Even with your childish quirks, you can be patient and understanding. Like our nights together, I feel like I can let my guard down around you and talk to you about anything. It's genuinely one of the few things that makes me feel at ease ever since I came into this world. I… really enjoy spending time with you."

Kazuma lifts his head up to see Megumin covering her mouth in surprise. He took a second to realize how much of what he said before breaking into a cold sweat. It would be worse for him if he tries to take any of that back.

"I-Is that so? I'm really glad to hear that," Megumin sniffs. The awkward feeling in his chest faded when he noticed her smile after pulling her hand away. That cute, flustered face of hers matching the shade of her eyes. Maybe some more wouldn't hurt just to see it again.

"But let's not forget about your best trait of them all. Your Explosion magic is seriously the greatest!"

"Oh," Megumin suddenly responded in a monotone voice, "Is that so?"

"Eh?" Kazuma stares incredulously at the girl as she picks at her salad. What's with that cold reaction? Was that not good enough?

"... I mean it, your Explosions are second to none! No one could ever come as close to causing such overwhelming power of destruction as you can!"

"I guess…"

"Seriously! If it wasn't for your Explosions, our party would have been screwed a long time ago. You saved our asses more times than I can count. You're an invaluable asset to our team!"

Megumin takes a long sip from her wine and lets out a sigh. She merely mutters out a half-hearted "Thanks," making him truly at a loss of words. But unbeknownst to him, the reaction was just a cover.

Ahhhh! I couldn't be any happier to hear him say that! But it just makes me want to cast Explosion even more now! Where's our damn food!?

"I'm going to check on them!" Megumin suddenly said as she bolts up from her chair. She goes to leave but stops as she felt Kazuma's hand taking one of hers. "Wait," Kazuma stood up and looks at her with concern, "Megumin, can you tell me what's been bothering you?"

The archwizard tightens her mouth and couldn't look at him in the eye. Kazuma is a lot of things, but he is caring and always watches out for her. It's obvious that she couldn't hide it from him.

"I'll tell you," Megumin promised, "It's nothing serious, really. I'll tell you after I check with them about our dinner, okay? Just wait for me."

Kazuma lets go of her and shrugs, "If you say so, then alright. I'm not going anywhere."

Megumin smiles and hurries over to the kitchen. "Oi, is everything… alright?" Megumin frowns expecting to see either of the girls turning to see her but the room was empty. The first thing that hits her is the smell of burning meat which she immediately identifies as her steak left on the burner with no one attending it. She looks over at the counter and sees the vegetables on a cutting board all chopped and ready for Kazuma's stir fry.

"Yunyun? Iris?" Megumin calls out as she pulls the pan off the heat and dumps the charred meat into the trash. Did they need to use the bathroom at the same time or something? No, they wouldn't leave this steak unattended. They wouldn't just decide to up and leave them… would they? Megumin knows she hasn't exactly been nice to them but…

She notices the door on the other side of the kitchen. She recalls it was a food storage from her earlier scope of the place. Megumin walks over to it and opens the door into the dark room. "Yunyun? Iris?"

"Megumin!" Yunyun's voice calls out to her in distraught.

"Run!" Iris yells.

"Yun-ack!" Megumin felt something hard hitting her in the back of the head. Her vision blurs and stumbles forward as her mind went dark before hearing the cries of her friends calling out to her as it slowly fades away along with her conscious.

~/~

Megumin groans painfully as her senses come back to her. She feels the cold floor pressing against the skin of her cheek and her vision slowly fades in revealing the storage area her and Yunyun went through earlier. She tries to move her arms but realizes they were bound together behind her back by rope.

"Wha? What is this!?" she cries.

"Megumin!" She hears both of the girls' voices right behind her. Forcing herself off the ground with her body, she props herself up to meet Iris and Yunyun in the same situation as her.

"Thank goodness you're okay! I was worried when you wouldn't wake up!" Yunyun said, nearly in tears.

"Nothing could take down our Boss like that!" Iris beams.

"What happened? Who attacked us!? Where's Kazuma!?" Megumin turns her head to see if he's also caught but didn't find him anywhere in the room besides crates and sacks of food.

"He's fine, he's probably sitting in the dining area unaware of this happening. We tried calling out for you two a while ago," Yunyun explained. "As for who attacked us… well..."

A dark blur rushes by Megumin's left side causing her to jump back. "What was that!? Who's there!"

She gazes all over the room until she spotted a pair of eyes staring at her from the corner of the room. The assailant lock eyes with her but said nothing. The room is too dark for her to see but bravely she shouts to them, "Show yourself, c-coward! You'll regret catching the most powerful mage this world has ever seen off guard with that cheap ambush of yours!"

"Please, you were hardly a challenge." An unexpected feminine voice answered her. Unexpected, because it was not coming from the assailant but Iris right next to her. Megumin turns to stare questionably at her before she hears something hitting the ground with a soft, but bouncy thud. She turns her head back to face-

"... a cabbage?" She stares down at the vegetable looking back at her with the most intense look a cabbage could make. Megumin quickly looks around to see if the assailant went anywhere but the door at the end of the room hasn't been opened. There is no one else but them and a cabbage in the room.

"Where did they go?" Megumin loudly whispers.

Yunyun makes an embarrassed face before replying, "That's it…"

"What's it?"

"The cabbage right in front of you," Iris answered.

"... eh?"

"The one who tied us up… and the one who hit you in the back of the head… is that cabbage there," Yunyun mutters dishearteningly to her fellow rival.

Megumin blankly stares at the two and looks back at the cabbage.

Then back to them.

And back at the cabbage.

"... is this a prank?"

"This is no prank!" Iris shouted in a villain-like tone as the Cabbage bounces up and down, "This is revenge!"

Megumin leans her head at Iris and whispers, "What are you doing?"

"Since they can't talk, I figure it will be easier for us to know its intentions by voicing it myself."

"You can understand cabbages!?" Megumin exclaims.

"Nope, it just seems like something a cabbage with sentient intelligience would say. I think I'm getting right so far, am I?" The cabbage tilts its body to her in a imitate a nod. Iris smiles to herself while Yunyun shook her head.

"Maybe the question I really should be asking is, how did a cabbage bested an Archwizard and a Dragon Slayer!?"

"D-Don't get the wrong idea!" Yunyun protested, " Iris and I were trying to make sure not to destroy it since it was the only cabbage they have. We were trying to be really careful but ended up getting… bested..."

"... and you call yourself my rival."

"Y-y-you got beaten too!"

"Of course I did, it got the jump on me. Even a simple cabbage can win by surprise. You had Iris with you and couldn't beat it head on!"

"I'm not just a simple cabbage!" Iris interjected for the vegetable as it bounces onto a nearby barrel, "I am the best of my kind! Out of hundreds of my fellow brothers and sisters, a certain cabbage is born with the highest qualities it has to offer! I am what your people call, a Legendary Cabbage!"

Yunyun sighs but tries in her most polite voice to say, "Iris, could you not-"

"You won't get away with this!" Megumin shouted to the cabbage.

"Huh!? Megumin?"

"Hurry up and stick yourself in a pot or something so Kazuma can eat you!"

"I will never offer myself to your kind! Our ancestors have told us how you humans would capture and harvest us from our journey to the great beyond! How you would bring us to this terrible hellscape where you would chop and tear us apart for consumption! No more! We will not live as cattle!"

"You're a vegetable! You exist to be eaten! All you dumb greens do is dump yourself into an ocean and rot! You should be glad to be eaten by us!"

"M-Megumin…" Yunyun mutters to her, "as ridiculous as this is, you shouldn't be provoking-"

"I am the number one Archwizard of the Crimson Demon clan! I have slain countless Demon Generals and stolen the heart of a hero from another world! I will NOT be intimidated by some dumb lettuce!"

"Don't you dare call me a lettuce!" the Cabbage bounces up and down in rage, "You talk a big game, little mage, let's see if Onii-I mean, that Hero you mentioned will put up a better fight!"

The Cabbage hops off the barrel and flies through the door into the kitchen. Megumin shouts after it and fell forward due to her legs being tied up as well. She growls then lifts her head to face Yunyun, "Don't you have some fire spells or something to burn the ropes!?"

"I-I do but it's too powerful, we would all get seriously injured! And I don't know a basic spell like Kindle."

Kazuma does. Once again his pointlessly large skill set could save the day, but that legendary cabbage is going to ambush him. He's always been so reliable despite being the weakest class, and exceeded her expectations in many battles. She has nothing to fear… it is a cabbage after all.

A legendary cabbage that somehow got the jump on two Archwizards and a high-level Dragon Slayer…

~/~

Kazuma sighs and goes for another sip of wine. It's been nearly twenty minutes, what on Earth could be taking them so long? Megumin has yet to come back to assure him the meal is about to be done.

He figures to at least pop into the kitchen to check but what if it was another surprise Megumin is trying to make? Kazuma already ruined enough of her plans this morning. But as the time went by, he's starting to get a sense that something is wrong. A knock on the door wouldn't hurt.

But just as he got up, the doors burst open. "Finally, what took you-" Kazuma turns his head expecting to see Megumin or the other girls but instead was greeted by a cart gently rolling down to his table by itself before coming to a stop. He leans over to stare at the door waiting for anyone to come out then stares back at the cart where a large plate with a shiny dome lid sits.

"... I take it this is supposed to be my meal?" Kazuma asks out loud but received no answer. Is this also suppose to be a surprise? The cart is covered in a cloth and is big enough for someone small like Megumin or Iris to hide under. The old "severed-head" trick? He wasn't born yesterday but figures to play along.

"Well, I don't know what's going on but I am starving," he says out loud and reaches for the handle above the dome. Kazuma also holds out his other hand ready to cast a basic ice spell for a surprise of his own the moment he lifts it.

On a count of three, he quickly pulls the lid to… nothing? He frowns and stares down at the plate seeing no head or even food except for a piece of cabbage leaf lying on the plate.

"... is this their idea of a Cabbage Stir Fry-wahrk!" Kazuma's legs were suddenly pushed under by something fast causing him to fall forward and smacks his jaw against the cart sending it back.

He groans in pain and rubs it before rising back up to see whatever attacked him. He suddenly ducks his head as he sees a green blur coming at him from the side. He hears it hit the wall but bounces back and hits him directly in the chest sending him backwards into a table, splitting it in half.

"Ow! Alright…" Kazuma growls as the pain sears from his rear to his back, "what did they made this table out of-?" He stops to stare at his attacker who is sitting on a nearby table staring down at him with beady little eyes.

"... you gotta be kidding me…"

The cabbage jumps down and charges at him again. Kazuma quickly moves his hands around him until he found a flower vase in his right. He swings it with all his might just in time and smacks the cabbage away, shattering the vase in the process.

The flying vegetable sails across the room but bounces off the wall harmlessly and lands back onto another table. It turns its body around to look for Kazuma but the adventurer seem to have hidden himself.

It floats up into the air and slowly hovers over to scan the area. The sound of something rustling through a table cloth made it swivel its body around in time to catch the movement of the cloth of the table closest to the kitchen. The cabbage drops to the floor and charges at the table from under, ready to catch Kazuma by surprise.

Only to be caught by a cloth fashioned into a net from a nearby table.

"Got ya!" Kazuma shouts as he quickly ties the end of cloth together to bind the cabbage. "All it takes is a simple wind spell to make you think I was there! And they said vegetables is supposed to make you-smart!" The cabbage rams itself against his stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs for a moment.

"You little! Take this!" Kazuma grips onto the end of the cloth and slams it as hard as he could against the table, somehow smashing the wood straight through like a mace. The cabbage still relents and flies at him wildly like a small punching bag. He struggles against the wild vegetable until his eyes caught the fireplace still roaring with life.

Kazuma holds the bag over his head and swings it violently around before throwing it right into the flames. He makes a sadistic grin watching the cabbage frantically moving around as the flames quickly engulfs the cloth.

"Not the way I would normally cook it, but I'm no picky eater." Kazuma notice the cloth stopped moving as the fire completely covers it. He grabs the nearby fire poker and leans forward to gently poke it.

Vroosh!

The cabbage bursts out of the fireplace as a ball of fire and hits Kazuma directly in the body went flying and landed onto the dining cart sending him into the kitchen until it slams into a counter. He drops to the floor and desperately sucks in the air while he pats out the fire on his clothes. He quickly got up to his feet and spot the empty burnt cloth lying by his side with the cabbage nowhere in sight. He grabs his fire poker and holds it up like a sword before cautiously turning his body to look for it.

"Came here for a date, get attacked by a killer cabbage. Next time I'll pick the destination..."

A loud bang made him jump out of his skin before he rotates around to see the girls spilling out of the doorway onto the ground. Megumin looks up at and freezes.

"Megumin!?" Kazuma hurries over to them.

"Behind you!" she shouts.

Kazuma turns too late to see the Cabbage jumping down from a shelf and onto the handle of a knife lying just over the edge. The blades sails through the air directly at his face. The girls watched in horror as they see Kazuma's head suddenly jerking back before falling onto his knees. Yunyun screams as he drops to the ground with a heavy thud. The knife can barely be seen protruding from his face even with the back of his head facing them. Kazuma didn't move or say anything as he lays still on the floor.

"Did... did Kazuma just..." Yunyun apalls.

"N-nii-san?" Iris calls out to him sobbingly.

Megumin stares at Kazuma's body. A flood of emotions overwhelms her heart and mind. She did this. She brought him here and this happened. And all she did was keep getting mad at him.

"This is my fault..."

"Don't say that," Yunyun said to her, nearly in tears, "He tried to save us. You wouldn't have known this would happen."

Megumin drops her head down, her expression hidden from Yunyun and Iris. But she could hear something under Megumin's breath. Something familiar...

"-take away my pain and forge it anew..."

"Huh? Megumin?"

"Be my avatar of vengeance, and purge this land in fire!"

"Wha-are you serious! You're seriously casting Explosion!? Here!?"

"Kazuma sacrificed himself for our party countless times! He never hesitated so why should I!?"

"Because you'll kill us too! Iris, say something to her!"

"We'll avenge you, onii-san," Iris said solemnly.

"You too!?"

The Cabbage turn its body at Megumin and notice the change of atmosphere around her. Sensing imminent danger, it jumps down and soars right at her.

"It's coming for us!" Yunyun screams.

"Deadeye!" Megumin breaks her incantation at the voice to see the Cabbage getting closer to her and saw a knife piercing it right through before nailing it against the wall near them. Everyone turned their eyes to Kazuma sitting on one knee and wipes the blood from his mouth.

"Kazuma!" Both Iris and Megumin shout together in joy seeing him alive and well.

"You're okay? But how?" Yunyun asks.

"Not going to lie, it was only a stroke of luck that I bit down just as the blade entered my mouth," he spits out a bit of blood and smacks his lips, "got my tongue and lips though. That's going to hurt for a while but sure beats getting killed by a cabbage."

The sound of Iris imitating a dying cough pulled everyone's attention to her. She gestures to the wall and continues making the sound until everyone looks back at where the cabbage is pinned. It struggles weakly for a moment but it's own weight is slowly sliding it further down the blade.

"I… could hear the ocean… my brothers… forgive me, but this was a fight… I could not win…" The Cabbage splits into halves and drops lifelessly onto the counter. Everyone stares at Iris then back at the halved vegetable. No one is as confused as Kazuma by the strange act but reaches down into his pocket to pull out his Adventurer's card.

"Hey, I leveled up."

"Would you untie us already!" Megumin shouted.

"Right!" Taking the knife from the wall, Kazuma carefully cuts all of them free from the ropes. Megumin immediately came at Kazuma for a tight hug before Iris could react and gives her a smug smile.

"Thanks for saving us," Yunyun said as she pulls the bindings off of her along with the makeshift dress.

"No problem, but while we're on that note: just what the hell was that about?"

"Yunyun and I found the only box in the back that contains a legendary cabbage. We didn't use any of our skills since we would risk destroying it," iris explained.

"Can we please not mention it to anyone about it?" said Yunyun. Kazuma would chuckle about it if he didn't come close himself to losing his own life to a vegetable. The three of them made a silent vow as they hang their heads together. Kazuma turns his head at the sound of the doors to the kitchen open just in time to see Megumin hurrying out into the dining area.

"Megu?" Kazuma calls out as he follows her with Yunyun and Iris after him. The three steps out into the dining area where Megumin is found standing before the devastated room from his battle. Megumin didn't move or say anything to them. Kazuma felt a hard lump caught in his throat. Yunyun and Iris looks at each other and quietly backs into the kitchen leaving the two alone much to his dismay.

Kazuma dry swallows as he gazes over the room assessing the damages that were caused during his struggle. A few broken tables with vases and other furniture knocked over. He doesn't remember it being this bad, it's like someone came in with a sledgehammer after they were done and caused even more of a mess. The story would probably be more believable to the owner than being attacked by a killer vegetable.

"I-I know it looks bad but I can cover the damages and the rent tonight! It's no big deal…" his voice trails off as he follows where her head is facing down at the table where they were sitting at. Right at her feet is the same package he 'accidentally' stole from this morning. Crumpled and beaten to hell somehow by the fight.

His blood ran cold as she silently picks up the gift that was meant for him still not saying a word to him. Kazuma opens his mouth trying to say anything but then flinches when she suddenly whips her arm at him. But instead of a punch or a slap, he opens his eyes to the battered box holding out for him.

"Here…" Megumin spoke in a quiet and repressed voice. Her face still hidden away from him. "It's for you…"

"Megu…" He takes the gift but held onto her hand before she tries to pull away. "Hey, look at me…" he asks softly before she forces her hand away from him and shouts "No!" She buries face into her hands and lets out a frustrated groan before turning into a sob.

"Don't cry! I'm sure the gift is fine!"

"It's not about that!" she reveals her face wet with tears, "I-I saved everything I had for this night! I even held off from casting my Explosion! And you almost…!"

"It's fine," he reassures her, "It wouldn't be the first time, I mean sure it would be awfully embarrassing but I'm practically used to it-"

"I'm not!" The emotional pain behind that shout shuts him up. He had forgotten how she never took his death lightly. She is the one who manages to pull him back into this world. This made him realize how really stupid that morning stunt of his was.

He wasn't sure if anything he could say to her would help but felt powerless as she cries before him. He gazes at the package in his hand that she poured her heart into. He places his hand on it and closes his eyes to pray for whatever luck he has from his stat and blessing before opening it.

A pendant with a red gemstone reflects back at him. It looks unpolished and rough around the edges, but it still have a brilliant center. Somehow unaffected by the damage that was done to it. He pulls it out of the box by the black chain its attached with.

"Megu, look." Kazuma gently takes her by the shoulder and shows her pendent. Her cries slowly faded as the gem sways before her. Megumin take in slow breaths as she wipes away her tears, "It's… okay…"

"You made this?"

Megumin nods, "You remember that time… when we took a quest in a quarry on a mountainside?"

He recalls how she nearly buried them alive in a landslide after casting an explosion on that monster that made it its new home. Kazuma kept it to himself though and nods.

"I found it lying next to me after the… you know… I thought about selling it but then I had an idea and I…" Megumin pauses to sniff again. "Cast your Kindle next to it."

An odd request, but Kazuma does as he is told as he flicks his fingers and incants the spell. A small flame erupts on the tip of his finger. He gingerly holds the gem near the flame for a moment. The light from the flame reflects off the surface until a low humming sound can be heard. Slowly, the gem brightens and gives off a red glow of its own.

"I know it might not look that great and the enchantment is too simple... but I wanted you to have something from me. Something to show my love for you and that you would always place it by your heart with me…" Megumin's words come out more slowly as her cheeks blush. She tilts her head down, "I-I know it sounds dumb, but I want to be able to call you mine…"

"... You can really say the most embarrassing things," Kazuma sighs then tenses as Megumin glares back at him. "I mean that in a good way, of course! You express your feelings for me so easily while I struggle to do the same. You're always patient with me about it. And after seeing everything you went through to make this night for me... you never fail to impress me."

A hint of a smile flashes on her face but fades as fast as it appeared, "You're just saying that, this date is a disaster."

"Maybe, but I told you before, didn't I? I like spending time with you. Taking you out for explosions and going out on dates. Even going through those disastrous nights of ours. I can't imagine my life without… you. And if wearing this means that I can still continue spending our awful times together."

Megumin watch him adorn the pendent around his neck. The glowing gem falls and bounces lightly against his chest. Kazuma gazes at it then turn his eyes back to her, "It really is beautiful, thank you Megu-oh!" His words were cut off by Megumin's embrace. He gently returns the gesture and runs his hand through her hair.

"Do you mean it, Kazuma?" Megumin exclaims while gazing up at him, "Are we…?"

"Y-yeah, as long as I get to call you mine, then I'm all yours."

Her lips trembles before she buries herself into his chest. He can hear her joyfully mumbling, "Kazuma… is all mine…" Kazuma's face flushes and shook his head chuckling to himself. It's actually happening, he realized, him and Megumin are really together. Somehow, instead of making him nervous, he feels really calm and content. Never would he imagined someone like her would end up with him in another world. Then again, the world was not at all what he had imagined either.

This girl who managed to force her way into his party and into his heart. There really is no one more spectacular than Megumin.

Kazuma felt her arms snaking their way around his neck and pulls him towards her lips. He lets out a surprised sound but presses her closer to him. Just as he was on the verge of losing himself, Kazuma's eyes happened to wonder over to the kitchen door's window where he can clearly see both Yunyun and Iris with wet eyes and now deep red faces staring back at him. Just how long were they watching?

Still holding onto her, he pulls Megumin away and says, "H-hey, why don't we finish this date. I'll help make something for all of us. Yunyun and Iris are probably hungry too."

"Okay, but… can you take me out so I can cast my Explosion for the day?"

"Heh, that's right, you didn't get to do yours, did you?" He playfully ruffles her hair, "It really is impressive you held on this long, of course I'll take you."

"Right now?"

"R-right now...?"

"Kidding!" Megumin giggles and squeezes another hug from him. It certainly didn't sound like a joke…

"By the way," Megumin pulls away to look at him again with a mischievous smile, "Do you think… there's enough to make two cabbage stir fries?"

~/~

"Thanks for the meal!" Yunyun said bowing her head to Kazuma and Megumin.

"It was delicious, thanks Onii-chan!" Iris exclaims as she gives him a hug.

"Consider it thanks for helping out tonight. If only you could stop by, I would be happy to cook you whatever you want…" Kazuma sniffs to himself as he fondly pictures the scene in his head. Megumin rolls her eyes knowing the expression on his face but let it slide. She is the victor after all.

Yunyun pulls Megumin close and whispers, "I have never seen you so happy before, all that hard work finally paid off."

Megumin gives her a smile, "I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you, Yunyun."

Yunyun covered her mouth in surprise, "Megumin's actually thanking me!" This might actually be worth getting tied up by a cabbage and nearly killed by an explosion.

"I was actually just saying that to be nice, you didn't really do much since Kazuma helped made our meals."

"... you really didn't have to say that but you went ahead and did…"

"Hate to say goodbye, but I gotta let this one out for a bit before we head home," said Kazuma. "Don't treat me like a dog," Megumin barks at him and jabs him with her elbow. Iris giggles and pulls Megumin by her hands.

"I love for you to come visit me too, Boss. We should do this again sometime!"

Megumin could feel the words were kind and genuine. It made her feel guilty for assuming the worst of her earlier. She gives her a gentle nod, "Yeah, I'd love that."

"And take good care of Onii-chan. I know he's in capable hands, but he always does seem to find trouble," Iris giggles as Megumin's cheeks went red.

"...I'm older than all of you, you know…"

The two wave their goodbyes to Yunyun and Iris and made their way out of town. Kazuma looks around the town, dimly lit by some late night shops and homes but it's only them out on the streets now. Without saying a word, he held out his hand for Megumin who glances at it and smiles. She slips her hand into his and rests her head against his shoulder.

"Ah!" cried Kazuma.

"What!?"

"You're crushing my hand!"

"S-sorry!" Megumin loosens her grip, "I'm trying to fight back the demons, but they're threatening to take me over."

"Right… I would have taken you this morning, you know."

"I know... it just slipped my mind when I realized my mistake. Stupid calendar..."

"Still, to think the Great Archwizard who has mastered the ultimate magic would actually forget her sole reason for living," Kazuma chuckled. He lets out a yelp as Megumin tightens her grip. "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you, you're just going to make fun of me."

"I couldn't resist!" Kazuma cries, "I have known you for a long time now. Hearing how you put me above your Explosion is actually…" He stops short of his words as she turns to look at him expectantly. "You know," he merely mutters before looking straight ahead. Megumin giggles, "Still shy, I see."

Kazuma flusters but chose not to say anything. The two continue their walk away from the town and into the clear fields. As some time past, they finally settled on a location that seem just far enough and no monster in sight. Megumin lets out an excited cheer and stretches out her arms.

"About time! Nothing beats a nighttime explosion. Wish I had my staff with me," she exclaims.

"There's a difference?"

"There's nothing more comfortable than sleeping on no mana. And tomorrow when I wake up I get to do it right away again," Megumin folded her hands together at her chest, "with my b-boyfriend."

Kazuma's heart leapt at the sound of the word and sent shivers down his chest. He's not sure if he could get used to hearing that from her. He doesn't hate the feeling, but he is officially a normie now. If dating a petite mage from another world actually qualifies as one.

"Here goes!" Megumin reaches out her hand in front of her and began chanting, "Darkness blacker than black and darker than-"

"Wait!"

The girl fumbles forward and snapped her head to him. "You waited until now to stop me!? Whatever it is, save it until after my cast!" She turns her body back and readies herself again.

"Fine, if you don't want to remain standing to see the gift I got you."

"..." Megumin slowly turns with a pout, "I suppose I could wait…"

Kazuma walks over and ruffles her hair as he reaches into his bag. Earlier, he had hoped it was enough for her despite her not asking for one. But after seeing her gift, the one she made with love and care, it now feels even more pathetic in comparison. Still, there is no turning back now.

"Here," Kazuma holds up a colored stone before her. She leans over to get a better look at the strange rock but couldn't recognize it. She looks back up at him with an etched eyebrow and asks, "What is it?"

"It's a rare artifact, made of up magical materials like Manacite but it doesn't refill mana. It apparently lets the person holding it to temporary copy a skill or a spell of anyone nearby and lets me cast it for free even if I don't have skill points for it. But it's only good for one use, and really expensive…" He sighs, looking back at the rock remembering the absurd cost.

"When we first met, I was amazed by your Explosion but couldn't deal with someone who would be rendered useless after. I thought it was terrible and wanted nothing more than for you to learn other spells. But I knew better now, you saved our party and this town a bunch of times with it. And if you weren't so obsessed with Explosions, you would've easily found a better party and we would never have met. Never… fall for each other. Thinking back on that now, I'm glad I was wrong. I admire your dedication; you always work hard and never complain. You never gave up when you set your heart on something… and someone like me. I… lovethataboutyou."

Megumin eyes widened and goes to clutch her chest as Kazuma closes the rock in his fist and strikes a pose befitting for a Crimson Demon.

"S-so to prove my gratitude to Explosions and… my feelings for you! I thought maybe, for your gift, I'll show you my very own Explosion!"

He held his posture waiting for a response from Megumin who silently stood there staring agape with an unreadable expression on her face. The agonizing pain of humility stung him with every passing second.

What the hell is he doing? And what kind of gift is that? How is something that she's not even going to use supposed to be a gift? He keeps believing the word of that damn Masked Demon and now here he is with his arms out like an idiot in front of his party member.

Just strike me down now, Eris. I'm ready to go back to Japan…

"Aaaa…"

"Huh? Megumin?"

"AaaaAAAAAH!" Megumin clasps her hands together as she squeals in pure delight. "Are you serious, Kazuma!? Are you really going to cast the ultimate magic!?"

"Y-yeah? I know it's not really a gift but-"

She grabs his hand between hers and beams at him, "It's perfect! It's the best gift I could ever ask for!"

"Really? I can't help but feel you're getting the short end of the stick here…"

"What are you saying? This will be a memory that I will always cherish! Thank you!" She pulls him in close and embraces him tightly within her arms.

"I-if you say so," Kazuma exhales as he pulls away from her, "This is my first and only cast, so it might not be that great. Especially compared to yours."

"No worries! I believe in you!" Megumin cheers.

"Don't you want to cast yours first?"

"That can wait! Go on! Do it!"

"Okay, okay! No pressure or anything…"

He takes in a deep breath and exhales before he throws the artifact against the ground as instructed by Vanir. The object shatters like a ball of glass but the shards disintegrated into dust and swirls around Kazuma with a hue of bright blue colors before fading away.

"Alright, if Vanir was right all I have to do is use the spell like any other skill and it should work fine." He cracks his knuckles and cranes his head, even though none of these would benefit the ability to cast it in any way. "Here goes! EXPLO-"

"Not like that!" Megumin shouted.

He freezes and turns his head to her, "What? Did I do something wrong?"

"You have to monologue first!"

"Excuse me?"

"The key to wielding the ultimate form of carnage and chaos is by voicing the final sentence to your enemies before delivering their judgement!" She flaunts her arms at him in a demonstration of her usual Crimson Demon stance.

"But we're not… can't I just shout the word and cast it?"

"It's my gift! And I want a monologue!"

He lets out a long sigh and adjusts his sleeves. Despite it being probably one of the most embarrassing things he's about to do, at least she's the only one who will see it and she probably would be impressed by whatever nonsense he says as long as it sounds edgy enough.

Kazuma clears his throat and dramatically holds out his hand, "Witness my…! Uh, strength… and-"

"Pfft!"

"You got something to say!?" he turns his head to the girl failing to hide her smile.

"N-no, keep going! You're doing g-great…"

He glares at her for a bit then turns his head forward at the large field and tries again. "Hearken! To my… no, that sounded way worse out loud. Avert your eyes at-wait, no I mean gaze at my…"

"Not as easy as it seems, huh?" Megumin said with a smirk.

"Piss off! Why don't you show me how it's done then!"

"That's a great idea! Let's do it together!" Megumin trots to his side and grabs his hand by the wrist.

"At the same time? Mine will definitely pale in comparison."

"But this is even better! You and I casting the ultimate magic side by side! The Lovers' Multi-Cast Explosion!"

"We're not calling it that!"

"Just follow my lead," she said encouragingly as she gives his hand a playful squeeze, "I'll start us off and just say whatever comes to your mind. Let your heart do the talking!"

My heart is saying I should've bought you a new eyepatch instead.

Megumin thrust out their arm together and says: "Release the darkness building within, allow our emotions to manifest together, an amalgamation of total destruction!"

"… what my turn? Oh, uh return all before us from whence it came, and… paint the world in crimson… ash?"

She gives him an assuring smile then flaps his mantle for him, "Hear our voices as they cry out together at last, a final call for your oblivion!"

The two close their fists and shouted together, "EXPLOSION!"

A large magic circle develops beneath them as bright red rings appear in the sky before them. Kazuma can tell which of the rings is his by the size of them compared to the larger ones surrounding them. Figures his would seem lacking to the master of the craft.

But something unexpected happened. The smaller and larger rings suddenly flicker before merging into larger circles. Orbs of red flames appear all around them before aligning together in a vertical line inside the rings.

"Did it just got-"

Before Kazuma could finish his words, a flash of bright light strikes down the center of the rings setting off a fiery wave of energy obliterating the area completely. A huge force of impact sweeps across the field directly at the two. Kazuma moves without thinking and grabs Megumin with his back facing the impact before it sends both flying away.

A deafening sound of explosions finally roars after the instant force of destruction, nearly rupturing his eardrums. He could barely hear Megumin or his own cries as the two sails into the air before Kazuma's back hits against a tree sending a shock of pain throughout his body but refuses to let go of her as they fall to the ground.

"Kazuma!?"

He could barely make out her voice as his ears are filled with constant ringing. He weakly lifts his head to meet Megumin laying across his watching him with concern in her eyes. The ringing slowly fades enough to hear her calling his name more clearly, "Ugh, I'm okay… my back hurts like hell though…" The pain flares as he adjusts himself, but it doesn't feel like anything broke. "Are you alright?" he asks.

"I'm fine… but that explosion… was AMAZING!"

"Amazing!? It nearly killed us! What the hell happened back there!?"

"I don't know! But that was the best explosion I ever saw! Ahhh, I really needed that," she lets out a soft moan like she just finally reached that part of her body that needed a scratch.

Kazuma rolls his eyes and goes to push her off only… to find his arms still lying by his side. He looks down to see them hanging by his sides unresponsive. Kazuma manages to jerk his shoulder and watched his limp, left arm move by the force before dropping back to the ground.

"Uh oh…"

"What's wrong?" Megumin gazes up at him then notices his arms drooping by his sides in a manner she's too familiar with. "… you never cease to amaze me, Kazuma. How you can switch from being the smartest to the dumbest person I know."

"Give me a break! Vanir said it was supposed to be a free cast!"

"You trusted the words of that demon!?"

"Well he's been oddly supportive of us, so it's kind of back and forth." Especially since his plans is to bring another human into this world to feed off the negative emotions from both the child and the parents. Its already bad enough to have Megumin's mother trying to push them to make one.

Kazuma lets out a yawn and asks, "How long does it take for us to recover again?"

"It depends… a couple of hours maybe? Our mana capacity is different, but we only need just enough for our bodies to work again."

"It's already past midnight too… hopefully that blast scared any monsters away and woke up some folks to find us soon."

He looks down as he feels Megumin slowly adjusting her body upright with her head resting against his chest. "Guess we're stuck like this then… I don't mind at all. It feels warm to be by your side even in the night. I wouldn't mind if we stay like this until sunrise."

"We could get mauled out here, you know."

"Don't ruin the moment!" She bangs her head against his chest then giggles, "Even though that turn out way different from what we expected, it was so cool to see you finally cast your own Explosion. How did it feel?"

"I admit, it was pretty awesome."

"Right!?"

"But that's the last time we do one together!" He expected a protest or at least a groan from her, but instead she looks up at him with adoration and rests her head against his shoulder.

"Thank you for giving this Archwizard an experience she'll never forget," she purrs.

"D-don't say it like that…" he said with a cracked voice. He takes a moment to clear his throat while she giggles softly. Even though the two of them are helpless to protect themselves from whatever creature that decides to wander in and tear the two of them apart, Kazuma feels at ease with the feeling of Megumin pressing against him in a somewhat lazy embrace. Maybe it's the fact he already died today and came close to another. Or maybe it's because of all the nights they spent together talking and holding each other.

Their nights together have been disastrous lately. Of all the times they came close to sharing intimacy with each other only to have it get ripped away by something stupid, it never did bother him much with her at his side. Just being with her, feels more than enough for him. This is what they meant by being with someone they care about, isn't it?

"I love you," the words left his mouth before he realizes it. He hoped she didn't hear it but the girl shifts her head to meet his eyes with an incredulous gaze. "What did you say? What did you just say!"

Kazuma felt like crawling away with just his chin if only Megumin wasn't on top of him. "Y-you know how I feel so don't make a big deal about it!"

"It's just… you never…"

Never? That's right, he doesn't recall saying those words directly to her. Is this seriously his first time?

It actually… felt really good to say. What reason is there to avoid it now?

"Yeah, I never huh? Then I guess I should be saying it more often," he rests his head onto hers, "I love you, Megumin. I'm… really happy to have met you in this world."

Megumin blinks as she can feel the tears forming in her eyes. She could barely feel the smile spreading across her face, "W-What is this? You're usually such a wimp about this kind of thing…"

"Well, I did just had two near-death experiences and died earlier-"

"What?"

"That was a joke!" he quickly corrected, "But it's also how I really feel. I haven't been the best at expressing them to you, it may take some time for me to get used to it but it doesn't mean that I don't feel that way..."

"I know," Megumin answered for him, "I'll always wait for you, because I love you too, Kazuma."

The two rest together as they wait for their mana to come back, watching the embers of their spell falling around them like red snowflakes. Megumin had fallen asleep against him as Kazuma takes watch for any monsters that may wonder. Hoping his luck would either deter them from wandering here or at the very least does not increase their chance to show up.

_Wait a minute_, Kazuma realize, _that legendary cabbage didn't appear because of my luck blessing, did it?_


End file.
